Someone very much in a position to know this kind of thing just texted me and said Angelina and Brad have broken up. I call “no way”. They seem happy. But then again I thought Megan Fox and I were happy until she had security remove me from the tree outside her bedroom. Love can be funny sometimes.
Maddox Jolie showed off his new blue mohawk today in Venice. Brad and Angelina seem like fun parents. I was never allowed to get cool haircuts like this and now I go to therapy twice a week. Massage therapy. I wasn’t getting enough handjobs from Vietnamese sex slaves working off their passage to America. I'm cured!
(picture source = bauer griffin)
The Variety political blog says today that Angelina Jolie is the most wanted person in Hollywood, and not just by directors and producers and my penis, but also by presidential candidates Barrack Obama and John McCain.
It may seem as if most entertainment industry figures are aligning with Barack Obama and just a few with John McCain, but there are still a handful of famous names who are still on the fence. And both campaigns are well aware of one star who stands out among the undecideds: Angelina Jolie.
Both campaigns have reached out to her, apparently to court her support. But in a statement to Variety provided by political adviser Trevor Neilson, Jolie says that she is waiting to make up her mind.
"I have not decided on a candidate," Jolie says, "I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world."
Unlike many other celebrity endorsements, Jolie's carries the weight and influence of her extensive humanitarian work around the world, as the goodwill ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Her statement was an indication that she would be open to choosing a candidate.
I'm not sure how tricking voters into masturbating helps in any way, but I guess that's why I used those hunky shirtless posters of me washing my horse when I ran for class president. My golden muscles rippling in the sun just proved to more of a distraction than anything, although I was somehow elected mayor.
People magazine and Hello magazine were the first to reveal Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt to the world last night. People hits the newsstands today and features an unprecedented 19-page spread with the new wondertwins. They say:
In an exclusive interview and photos, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie offer PEOPLE an intimate look at their growing family. "It is chaos, but we are managing it and having a wonderful time," Jolie tells PEOPLE of daily life at the Château Miraval in Provence, France, where the couple's four older children – Maddox, 6, Pax, 4, Zahara, 3, and Shiloh, 2 – have been enjoying a summer of outdoor play (hide-and-seek is a favorite) on the château's sprawling grounds. Adds Pitt: "[It's] still a cuckoo's nest."
These kids are cute and all, but enough already with all the kids. I bet Brad half hopes some of the adopted ones get kidnapped. Or maybe they can sell one. They've only had that Vietnamese one for like a year, how attached can they really be?
For like 12 hours the greatest rumor in the world has been that Angelina Jolie is after the role of Catwoman in the third Batman movie, who some say will be called "Gotham", from director Chris Nolan. The Telegraph UK says…
The actress, who gave birth to twins earlier this month, is reported to have already made enquiries with film executives about playing the part. Julie Newmar, who played the feline villain in the 1960s Batman television series, said Jolie would make a fantastic Catwoman should the character be reprised. Ms Newmar, 74, said: "Angelina would own the part. My industry friends tell me she has already made enquiries about the role. I can understand how it would pique her interest. Catwoman is Batman's one true love."
Unfortunately I don’t think there’s an ounce of validity to this. I'm sure Julie Newmar is a very nice woman but she's not really in a postion to get this kind of information. A third script, and as of now it’s not even definite there will be one from Nolan, is years from being completed, and there’s no telling what direction it might take. But of course Jolie would be perfect. I think a good idea for the movie would be one where Catwoman, I don't know, steals some diamonds or some shit, and then masturbates in the shower for two hours to unwind. The End.
US Weekly is breaking the news right now that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie turned to in vitro fertilization to conceive their newly born twins, Knox and Vivienne. IVF is typically used when a couple has trouble conceiving, but in this case Us says Brad and Angie just wanted to speed things up.
"They conceived through in vitro fertilization," a well-placed source within their camp tells Us. "They both desperately wanted more babies soon."
The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina's age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent. Says Dr. Arthur Wisot of L.A.'s Reproductive Medical Group (who did not treat the couple), "We live in an era of reproductive freedom, so anybody can do anything they want within legal limits."
The actress chose the procedure (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so "she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant," the source tells Us. "She could just knock it out."
I can sort of understand if Brad couldn’t get her pregnant again because the temptation to finish with a money shot on Angelina Jolie would be about overwhelming. I would practice by shooting tin cans off a fence just so I could draw an exclamation point or smiley face or something like that. Why not have fun with it, I say.
