07.14.2008 as expected

As they did with the first pictures of their baby Shiloh, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will donate every dime that they collect from selling the first pictures of thier new twins to charity.  The Daily Mail says that offers are already on the table for up to 10 million dollars.

The bidding war has already begun for the first photos of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline who were born on Saturday night at a French hospital.
French papers have reported that an American magazine has already offered $10m (£5m) for the exclusive images of the new babies  -  with all the money going to a worthy cause.
After the birth of their daughter Shiloh two years ago, the couple auctioned off the photo shoot to People magazine in the US and Hello! in Britain for up to £5m with an undisclosed charity benefiting.
It is believed Pitt and Jolie are in the process of negotiating a similar deal for the photos of the latest additions to their family.

Brad and Angelina need to get off their high horse.  Hollywood stars do this all the time.  Nicole Richie took her baby picture money and got high, then said, "weed and vicodin should be legal, that shit is so good."  And Jennifer Lopez commissioned a laser beam that would turn things into bacon.  Needless to say their efforts may one day change the world.



07.14.2008 you can finally add two more

After weeks of rumors and random speculation, Angelina Jolie gave birth at the Fondation Lenval hospital in Nice, France, early Sunday morning to twins, a boy and a girl.  People magazine says…

"The babies are doing well. The operation went just perfectly," Dr. Michel Sussmann told PEOPLE Sunday. "Angelina is in very good spirits. Brad Pitt was at her side. He was there and all was well."
Sussmann confirmed the Nice-Matin newspaper report that Jolie gave birth to a boy, Knox Leon, and a girl, Vivienne Marcheline, by Cesarean section on Saturday night. Knox weighed 5.03 lbs, and Vivienne 5 lbs.
The twins are the fifth and sixth children for Jolie, 33, and partner Brad Pitt, 44, who are already parents to Maddox, 6; Pax, 4; Zahara, 3; and Shiloh, 2.

I guess this is good because Angelina might go back to skinny Angelina now, but how many kids can her perfect body really take.  C-section scars and a vagina that looks like it’s sticking its tongue out at us.  Ohh, hot.

07.02.2008 angelina is fine, still pregnant

Angelina Jolies doctor in Nice, France held a press conference moments ago, and I didn’t take any notes or anything but he said she was in good health but had not yet delivered her twins.  He said she only checked into the hospital yesterday as a precaution.  She is not and was not in labor.  So basically this post is about nothing, but it does have a picture of a French chick with a hot ass jogging outside of Angelina's hospital, which looks like a Transformer.  Look at it, sitting there, pretending to be all innocent.

(picture source = inf daily



07.01.2008 angelina had her twins. again. maybe.

I’ve already gotten three emails from people in France today saying the local press is reporting that Angelina Jolie has given birth to her twins.  One person also added that she thinks this web site rules.  Compliments freak me out a little, so all I could think to say was that her web site rules too.  She didn’t have a web site, and her calling me out on that made me even more nervous and I dropped the N-word a few times.  She said she thought that was inappropriate, and so then I wrote back and said you have reached my voice mail, please leave a message.  Whew.  Dodged a bullet this time.



06.26.2008 angelina jolie is still pregnant

Three weeks ago Entertainment Tonight broke the story that Angina Jolie had given birth to her twins.  Which was awesome except for the fact that it wasn’t true.  And today for the first time InTouch has proof, in the form of a few pictures taken by an eagle.  These were taken 2 days ago, and even though they’re blurry you can tell she’s astoundingly pregnant.  Or fat.  Or hexed.  We may never know the real story, my friends. 

06.12.2008 angelina jolie is horny

Entertainment Weekly is running an interview in this weeks issue that they did with Angelina Jolie while she was in France two weeks ago for the Cannes Film Festival.  It's typically candied, as Angelina almost always is, but let's not kid each other and skip to the part where she talks about getting drilled:

On people saying being pregnant is bad for one's sex life: "No, I think it's quite the opposite. It's great for the sex life. It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you're just so round and full."

On her partner not being easy to buy things for: "Brad is the hardest person to shop for. He has impeccable design taste. And whenever he sees something he likes, he buys it for himself."

On Brad's most recent gift to her (a gun-charm necklace she wore to her EW photo shoot): "Mad, our 6-year-old, draws lots of war scenarios. He's all into war and guns. So for Mother's Day he drew a machine gun, and Brad had it made into a necklace, which is really sweet. It's really cute. I think it's really good!"

Remember the old Angelina, when she was unthinkably hot and just banged whoever, even having sex with her friends because she didn’t have a boyfriend?  It made you think you had a real shot at fucking Angelina Jolie.  That was awesome.  Also formerly awesome: snap bracelets.