The new documentary about Anthony Weiner and his inability to stop masturbating on camera seems fairly gratuitous. But the disgraced Congressman’s wife, Human Abedin, is Hillary Clinton’s long time chief lieutenant and late night crusty hollow licker. That means distribution on Showtime in an election year. The film is premiering at Sundance this weekend where Clinton operatives will throw snowballs at the projector until it shorts then cry and remember it was Bill they loved.
You may recall Weiner got fingered by some PTA moms as the dude who was virtually spooging on their monitors while lamenting the fact that the Knicks were fucking horrible yet again. Weiner denied, then confessed, then apologized, then quit Congress and tended to his garden. The documentary picks up where Abdein urgers Weiner back into politics as a candidate for Mayor of New York because she’s ambitious on his behalf and sick of the azaleas being covered in her disappointing husband’s filthy man cum.
According to journalists who have screened the movie, Huma comes across as a callous, cold-hearted, conniving horrible bitch that couldn’t possibly relate to Hillary Clinton on any level. Weiner comes across as a guy who really really loves touching his dick because before the Mayoral race even hits full speed, he’s busted again chatting and stroking with more chubby young women on that damn computer that vexes him so. It’s unclear why the couple very openly allowed filmmakers to document their horrible people lives. They do seem to have a much nobler image of themselves than the general public does.
It seems unlikely this documentary causes any harm to the Hillary Clinton campaign itself. It’s akin to learning Charlie Sheen has The AIDS. If you happened to be one of twenty women in America fucking him bareback, it’s a huge concern. The other 330 million of us just kind of expected it and quickly made jokes. Charlie’s not dying. And Hillary will likely be the next President. Life isn’t ironic, it’s horrible. Watch happier films and try not to notice.
Could this Romeo and Juliet story really end any other way? Apparently Sydney Leathers bravado about not caring for that lovable dick-stroking scamp Anthony Weiner was just a cover for her deep and unwavering cyber sex romance. Apparently, somewhere in between getting new tits, working the stripper pole, making a porn, and going on talk shows about what a loser Anthony Weiner was, she was popping pills and cutting herself for the love of his virtual shlong. Before she checked into rehab earlier this month for suicidal tendencies, Sydney penned Weiner an apology note for betraying their online cyber affair and suggested he’d be better off when she was dead. Weiner didn’t respond but he did imagine Sydney Leathers slicing her wrists and beat himself off three times shooting his hot molten sperm all over his waxed rippling chest. When’s the meteor coming again?
Sydney Leathers took time out of her busy schedule to protest one final time at the Weiner campaign headquarters. Staffers inside the offices paid little attention to Sydney as they were busy stealing office supplies from the officially failed campaign as fast as humanly possible. Nobody’s felt the pain of the Weiner sexting scandal more than Sydney Leathers who were it not for the randy ex-Congressman could still be enjoying her life of being a broke-ass online political message board commenter with skeevy tattoos. Now, just look at her. New boobs, some work on the face, cash from a sex tape, exposure on major media outlets, four HIV negative test results, and a new trumped up crappy song on iTunes for download. Weiner virtually fucked her but good. She should at least get a stapler and a box of pencils.
When it rains, it pours, sort of like the golden shower sexting fantasies of Anthony Weiner. I’m not sure why the dude is still running for Mayor of New York City, other than he really has nothing else to do. 90% of the city has already decided he handles his dick far too much to be a guy in charge of anything, but he simply won’t quit. So he’s still kissing ass around the five boroughs pretending it matters, and now even his own Jewish peeps are turning on him. Including this chubby dude in a Brooklyn bakery who dug into Weiner’s character, to which Weiner countered with the ‘only God has the right to judge me’ bullshit that guilty people like to wield about like a Get Out of Jail Free card. This whole fight is pretty lame. One single punch would’ve made it entirely better. Or even just one ‘Weiner’ word play joke.
With Anthony Weiner continuing to pour gasoline on the tire fire that is his New York City mayoral campaign, his former online mistress, Sydney Leathers, is still taking drastic steps to help her feel confident in pursuing a career in porn or whatever. Just as she gave her first big interview after outing the man known to her as Carlos Danger to Inside Edition, Sydney has also showed them her new nose job and liposuction results.
Of course, she showed the plastic surgery off right after it happened, so she looks like a mangled horror movie character, but a girl’s gotta eat, I suppose.
Carlos Danger, (AKA Anthony Weiner), committed the classic lame white guy blunder when he started talking ‘like dee West Indian Block mon’ at a rally this past weekend. The disgraced politician, who still believes he has a chance at winning the New York City Mayoral race, attended the The West Indian American Day Parade in Brooklyn on Labor Day. Everything was going fine until Weiner hit the stage. Instead of speaking in his normal telephone sex voice, he decided to affect a shitty Caribbean accent. It’s the kind of “Irie, mon” speak that asshole American tourists might use on a Carnival cruise to Jamaica or at a Jimmy Buffet concert. The West indians in the crowd were not amused.
Politicians need to realize that the more they try to blend in the more they stand out. Everyone knows you are a douchey New York Jewish guy who likes to sext fugly bitches, Anthony. Dude, just quit. Seriously, it’s over. Irie?