Ariel Winter’s Boobs Are Bullet Proof

By Lex January 20, 2014 @ 4:02 PM

Ariel Winter Looks Busty At A SAG Awards After Party
The SAG Awards provide the perfect platform for actors to felch dripping ego from one another’s orifices while adulating the sacred craft. At the Oscars and Golden Globes, they have to pretend that other people helped their movies be so good. But at the SAG Awards, those line-repeating monkeys can really let it all out. So, they get a little drunk with honor. Ed O’Neill put his foot in his mouth when reporters asked the girls of Modern Family what beauty knowledge they picked up from their moms. The question itself should have warranted a punch in the face to the celebrity reporter who ran out of only moderately insipid questions seven years ago. But Ed O’Neill stepped in and said, ‘Ariel should take this one’. Now, Ariel Winter was removed from her mom’s custody last year because of the abusive environment. Her best beauty tip from mom might’ve been ‘duck when the frying pan comes warbling toward your face’. Several people in the room noted the rather flat joke from Ed O’Neill. But most people just continued staring at Ariel enormous teen tits. They really are the conversation.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast News, WENN

Ariel Winter Is Safe and Happy and Fat

By Lex March 26, 2013 @ 9:50 AM

First, let me say, there’s nothing wrong with being overweight. I read that once in a Jenny Craig brochure, which seems ironic, since Jenny makes billions pretending to cure customers of this condition. But, if you’re a teen actress like Ariel Winter from Modern Family, taken away from your horrible stage mom, in part, because she was abusive about keeping you from getting fat, then you get fat, people are going to notice. At least, I am. I notice shit like that. Especially when you brag to places like US magazine about how much happier you are without mom counting your calories:

I had body insecurities when I was younger. I still do. Every girl has insecurities — mine were heightened at the time because my mother wasn’t supportive….. Now, my sister is always making sure to tell me that I look beautiful . . . It’s about learning to love yourself.

Yeah, and learning to say, ‘hold the sour cream’ on the Farmer’s Market breakfast burritos. Mom might be a horrid Hollywood parasite, but she kept you TV show lean. I wonder if she’s looking to adopt.

Photo credit: Splash News