the first picture of Arnold Schwarzeneggers son, mistress

By brendon May 18, 2011 @ 10:48 AM

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(UPDATE: now with new and better pics, and more here)

It was very noble of the LA Times when they refused to release the name of the woman Arnold Schwarzenegger had an affair and child with over a decade ago, or maybe they just knew tabloid sites like TMZ and Star would do it for them. But not even they are showing a picture of his son.

But I’m not here to help, so that’s him.

Her name is Mildred Patricia Baena, though she goes by the name Patty. She’s now 50, 13 years younger than Arnold, and she worked as a housekeeper for Arnold and Maria Shriver for 20 years. The son she had with Arnold is now 13. TMZ says…

We are not revealing the identity of the boy, however his features are eerily like Arnold’s (with) striking similarities, especially the mouth and teeth.

Which is maybe the nicest thing anyone could say about that headline picture.

Tuesday headlines, with Fred Flintstone and Ciara

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 6:52 PM

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SETH MACFARLANE – will reboot ‘the Flintstones’ as a new series for Fox, to premiere in 2013. So now he can steal characters right out in the open (Stewie is nothing but Jimmy Corrigan). When asked for a comment, MacFarlane went and stood behind Matt Groening and then repeated what he said. (deadline)

TOM SIZEMORE – did not kill Megan Wren, the woman who has been missing for 6 weeks, and she was finally found in a house near downtown LA. Oh fuck, now Tom knows where she is. Run Megan, run! (la times)

NIKITA – is one of the best shows on television, and today it finally got renewed for a second season. It was always assumed it would be, but the CW took until today to make it official because that network has no idea what the fuck it’s doing. (ew)

MARIA SHRIVER – has broken her silence (but not on twitter like her kids Patrick and Katherine), saying, “This is a painful and heartbreaking time.” Does she mean about ‘Nikita’? No Maria, it’s fine, it’s been renewed, all is well! (thr)

CIARA – looked fantastic as always in a bikini on Miami beach this weekend, and blah blah blah tits. (fame)

Arnold Shwarzenegger cheated, had a bastard child with a maid

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 9:17 AM

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It was surprising when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced that they were separating after 25 years of marriage, but luckily Arnold has a back-up familia already in place.

The LA Times, who broke the story last night, says Arnold had a relationship with a woman who worked for Arnold and Maria as a member of their household staff for 20 years. About 10 years ago they had a child, but the woman, who was also married at the time and whom the LA Times won’t name, kept working for the couple until this past January.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago with a longtime member of their household staff.
Shriver moved out of the family’s Brentwood mansion earlier this year, after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the paternity.

After being questioned by the Times, Arnold issued this statement.

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.
I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time. While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not. “

Shriver has only issued a “no comment”, probably in hopes that Oprah can squeeze her in this week, but Arnold picked the right girl to cheat with because she was still sticking to her story last night.

In an interview Monday before Schwarzenegger issued his statement, the former staffer said another man — her then-husband — was the child’s father.
She said she voluntarily left her position with the couple earlier this year after reaching a longstanding goal of working for them for two decades. “I wanted to achieve my 20 years, then I asked to retire,” she said, adding she received a severance payment and “left on good terms with them.”
Schwarzenegger took financial responsibility for the child from the start and continued to provide support, according to a source.

Due to my awesome level of racism, I’m gonna assume this woman is Latin because it sounds like she was a maid. So if her husband was also Latin, he had to have a few questions. Like, why is our infant 4-feet tall with veins in his biceps.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have split

By brendon May 10, 2011 @ 10:11 AM

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Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver first met in 1977, had their first date in 1982, got married in 1986, and had four kids. Which is probably why they’re getting a divorce now. Jesus Christ, enough already.

As the LA Times first reported last night…

Former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, have separated, with Shriver moving out of their Brentwood mansion while the two determine the next step in their 25-year marriage.
Shriver has been residing apart from the actor-turned-politician for the last few weeks. The former first couple confirmed the separation in a joint statement released Monday after questions from The Times.
“This has been a time of great personal and professional transition for each of us,” the statement read. “After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion and prayer, we came to this decision together. At this time, we are living apart while we work on the future of our relationship.
“We are continuing to parent our four children together. They are the light and the center of both of our lives. We consider this a private matter and neither we nor any of our friends or family will have further comment. We ask for compassion and respect from the media and the public.”

It’ll be weird to see Arnold out on dates after this. Actually it’s hard to imagine him doing anything normal stuff. He’s so much larger than life. He’s like if the Red Skull and the Statue of Liberty had a son.

(image source of arnold and maria in santa monica on mothers day = flynet)

Wednesday afternoon headlines

By brendon April 27, 2011 @ 6:51 PM

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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – has agreed to reprise his most famous role in Terminator 5, to be directed by Justin Lin, whose first task will be to explain why a robot has a turkey neck and occasionally noticeable bra strap. (thr)

ANTJE TRAUE – will play the second villain in the Superman reboot. The relatively unknown German actress (pictured above) will play Faora Hu-Ul, another refugee from Krypton and an expert in the Kryptonian martial art of Horo-Kanu, who will likely be similar to Ursa, who helped General Zod in Superman II. This post has already kicked the shit out of my spell-check, if that helps any. (variety)

IMMORTALS AND X-MEN – both got very cool new trailers today, and Transformers 3 gets a new one tomorrow, which combined should give us about 10 minutes of tight shots on actors grunting at things that were added later with a computer. (immortals, xmen)

morning headlines

By brendon January 19, 2011 @ 10:39 AM

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MIRANDA KERR – posted the first picture of her son Flynn, presumably taken by her husband Orlando Bloom, and as you can see it was while he was sucking on one of her perky little tits. Which means he’s 2 weeks old and his life has probably peaked. (kora organics)

BRUCE WILLIS – was a pain in the ass to work with on Cop Out, according to director Kevin Smith. “I had no fucking help from this dude whatsoever.” And yet that movie totally worked, on every level, a modern masterpiece. The creative process sure is a mystery. (filmdrunk)

HALLE BERRY – is supposedly on good terms with her ex Gabriel Aubry, who is also the father of her 2yo daughter, but yesterday he filed for custody, setting up a potential tug-of-war with their child. Not a literal tug-of-war with their child of course, though that would be way more exciting. (e!)

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – is ready to return to acting, perhaps playing a Nazi commander who refuses to execute POW’s at the end of WWII in With Wings As Eagles. Or perhaps playing something else, in a different movie. What am I, psychic? (fox)

RICKY GERVAIS – will not be hosting the Golden Globes again next year, saying he feels twice is enough. Which is how I now feel about watching the Golden Globes. (yahoo)