thursday headlines: special mel gibson edition

By brendon July 22, 2010 @ 1:02 PM

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Look, if I could make Megan Fox and Jessica Alba blow me while I took pictures of it for the website, I assure you I would. Until then here’s three Mel Gibson stories, because that’s the only thing in the news.

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morning headlines

By brendon October 28, 2009 @ 11:21 AM

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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – wrote a letter to the California state assembly yesterday (read it here) after they approved some new plan to give away more free money, and it was all TLDNR, but I somehow feel I got the gist of what he was trying to say anyway. (wall street journal)

OPRAH WINFREY – is a drunk and a drug addict, and her longtime boyfriend Stedman Graham has dumped her because of it. Not only that, now she’s ready to pay him 150 million dollars to keep him quiet.  I would take it if I were him.  This bitch is evil.  In fact I heard she can throw fire from her hands.    (the enquirer)

BRITTANY MURPHY – was visited by the cops this morning around 2:30am because she was on her balcony screaming and claiming she heard gun shots. No evidence of foul play was discovered, but still, Brittany did the right thing. If you ever hear gun fire, and you suspect a killer may be on the loose, go out into the open and flail around and yell at the darkness. If you have time, call 911, but first things first. (tmz)

LINDSAY LOHAN – could be dead within a year if she doesn’t get to rehab, according to her dad. Thankfully, Lindsay agrees and has decided to seek help. “I have not spoken to my father, nor have I responded to his threatening and erratic messages … he should try to be a real father.” Oh okay never mind. I was thinking of someone else. (the sun and wenn)