By Lex April 15, 2013 @ 1:02 PM
Remember six years ago when Joe Simpson promised that his girls would never end up in rehab like Britney Spears? Of course, you don’t, but I do. I can’t remember my ATM password or my mom’s birthday, but I do remember Joe’s Karmically tragic pronouncement. Well, it looks like Ashlee Simpson is in, or headed to, that particular place in the sun. Her ex Pete Wentz is threatening to take full custody of their kid together if Ashlee doesn’t sober up and quit partying like she’s a 20-something no-talent sometimes pop music singer forever in the shadow of her older sister, even though, yeah.
It’s hard to blame Ashlee for knocking back a few after the big reveal that her preacher dad loves dicks-only rainbow parties. So she’s got her parents divorce, her divorce, not to mention having had sex with Pete Wentz in the first place. Then she has to watch all the adulation upon her gargantuan sized older sister for now being a fat mommy icon despite merely being another unmarried knocked up minimally talented celebrity whose baby showers she has to attend every six months or so. Drinking might be a solid option. Bet she won’t hear that from the liars at rehab.
Photo Credit: Splash
By brendon December 28, 2012 @ 5:19 PM
It’s always been hard to believe that Jessica and Ashlee Simpson are sisters, but the differences have become even more exaggerated over the past few years, with Jessica getting fatter and Ashlee aging backwards. She’s almost 30 but she’s so skinny and flat chested that if nothing else she can get acting jobs with the police to lure pedophiles.
(image source of ashlee in hawaii yesterday with her mom = fame/flynet)
By brendon December 01, 2011 @ 8:17 PM
Jessica Simpson was out in New York today with her sister Ashlee and Ashlees son Bronx, and here we see the only good thing about girls getting pregnant. Their tits quadruple is size. They should put a leash or something on Bronx, because if Jessica falls on her back that kid is gonna bounce to the moon.
(image source = splash, pacific coast, fame, flynet)
By brendon September 26, 2011 @ 11:39 AM
Ashlee Simpson and her skinny friend with big tits went down to Los Cabos, Mexico, this weekend, and… damn. Ashlee’s ass is terrific. Who ever would have guessed that she’d end up being the hot Simpson sister. But then, of course, her dad was there too, creepily eyeing her and her more interesting friend. Que the slide whistle “down” sound, everyone.
(image source = splash)
By brendon February 09, 2011 @ 1:36 PM
One time Pete Wentz gave Ashlee Simpson a 2 foot tall bee made of legos for an anniversary present. Another time he was partying with strippers in Vegas while she was home in L.A. posting pictures of their baby on twitter. Another time she went to the L.A. County Superior Courthouse and filed for divorce (note: that third one was today, just now).
Simpson cites “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the divorce.
She’s asking for joint legal custody and primary physical custody of two-year-old Bronx.
Simpson is also asking for spousal and child support.
…there is no prenup.
One time I saw him in Silver Lake wearing a scarf and some weird hat and holding an umbrella. In other words he dresses like Mary Poppins, and his womanly physique makes me wonder how he even picks up his car keys. This guy is a real jackass.
By brendon October 13, 2010 @ 5:53 PM
Ashlee Simpson showed off her new super-short haircut today in New York, and also the fact that she’s either a wax figure or robot now. Which actually makes her much more useful than the old Ashlee Simpson.
As you can see, she can hold up to one hat, and I’ve been led to believe that robots can vacuum. Can this one vacuum? Either way, now we can punch Ashlee Simpson and not feel bad about it or go to jail. I think they’re gonna sell a lot of these.
(image source = inf)