Ashlee Simpson has looked awesome lately on occasion (here for example) which makes these pictures of her in New York today completely perplexing. Either Helen Thomas looks terrific or Ashlee has been hexed by something.
Melrose Place is gonna suck
By brendon August 04, 2009 @ 5:50 PM
The cast of the the new “Melrose Place” has been gathered for the first time to present them to the media, and, um … really? If your plan is to get a bunch of sexy girls, and Ashlee Simpson is the hottest one, your plan has gone horribly wrong. You could get hotter girls by dialing the numbers written on bathroom walls. From left to right, they are: The One No One Likes, EEOC Proof of Compliance, The One No One Likes Mom, Halloween Decoration, Angerina Jorie, and AnnaLynn McBoard.
hahaha, you suck ashlee
By brendon April 08, 2009 @ 2:05 PM
Yesterday Ashlee Simpson was beaming with pride as she posted a new picture with her baby on Twitter. Ashlees husband Pete Wentz wasn’t in the picture with them, because the night before his band had a concert at the Palms in Vegas and then he got drunk with dozens of strippers.
"Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers."
Ashlee was actually at that same Palms show to see Pete, but drove home to LA when it was over to be with the baby. On her Twitter, she wrote…
"I am beyond sad to leave my love … My heart is breaking as we drive home."
I like to think I would have done the honorable thing and gone home with Ashlee Simpson and the baby instead of getting jacked off by strippers. I also like to think I’ll be a rocket ship captain one day. Weeee, pretending is fun!
afternoon headlines
By brendon March 26, 2009 @ 9:06 AM
ASHLEE SIMPSON – Page Six says, “Party animals-turned-parents Ashlee and Pete are having trouble … ‘(they’re) on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home’ ”. The story is way better if you just read, “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks … stuck … in trouble … animals”. (source = page six)
MADONNA – an official in Malawi says Madonna has filed adoption papers and will travel there this weekend for a procedural hearing. She says, “I am the template or the role model for future adoptions.” She’s definitely my adoption role model. Her secret is to apply to the proper agencies then fill out the paperwork. The old way was not only inefficient, it was dangerous, hundreds of kids died. (source = BBC)
LINDSAY LOHAN – the only movie she's finished in two years, “Labor Pains”, is skipping theatres and will premiere on ABC Family. Which isn’t related to Marisa Miller on a motorbike in any way, but I already loaded these and didn’t feel like doing other ones. ta-da! (source = us magazine)
ashlee is going to melrose place
By brendon March 09, 2009 @ 10:25 AM
I’ll never forget the first time I saw Ashlee Simpson on a TV series. She of course got her big break seven years ago on the WB series "7th Heaven". Just to be clear, when I say I'll never forget, it’s because I never knew it in the first place, because I have no idea what that is. So needless to say it was very wise of the new WB to hitch their wagon to Ashlees star once again. Can her follow up live up to the original that I never heard of? Let's find out! The Hollywood Reporter says…
The singer-actress has been tapped as a lead on the CW's "Melrose Place" update. Simpson-Wentz will play Melrose Place's newest resident, Violet, a bright-eyed but shrewd small-town girl and recent L.A. transplant who has come to town with a secret.
What are the odds her secret is gonna be anything even remotely interesting? Like she has a penis, or hates Jews. I mean really hates them.
leave jessica alone!
By brendon January 28, 2009 @ 7:48 AM
Noted women’s rights advocate Ashlee Simpson has taken to her myspace to defend her newly fat and unattractive sister. Ashlee says:
I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.
All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.
Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?
I seriously doubt it.
How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?
Now can we focus on the things that really matter.
Wait, is she implying Jessica is a size 2? You know what, I don’t even care, what I care about is Jessica getting back to how she looked as Daisy Duke. This is ridiculous. How could Jess do this to me? She might as well have stepped up to my erection and put a cigarette out on it, or slammed it in a book.
