Ashlee Simpson got fired

By brendon October 23, 2009 @ 10:11 AM

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You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to fool the CW. Those people are really smart. No one watches ‘Melrose Place’, but it gets press anyway because the cast features Ashlee Simpson and Heather Locklear. With this in mind, they just fired Ashlee Simpson. It’s like a well-played game of chess, my friends. TV Watch reports…

The decision to cut (her has always) been “the original plan going into the development of the show,” executive producer Todd Slavkin tells EW. “We felt that once the murder mystery [involving their characters] was resolved, the tone of the show was going to shift … and her character would move on.”

Ah yes, the big murder mystery that no one has been talking about. I guess now that this plot line that no one knew existed has been resolved, there was no reason to keep around the character that zero people knew may or may not have been at the heart of it. Next they should change the name from ‘Melrose Place’ to ‘Lawn Care and You’, just to make sure no one ever hears of the show again, even accidentally.

(image source = fame)

what in the hell is that

By brendon September 03, 2009 @ 4:58 PM

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Ashlee Simpson has looked awesome lately on occasion (here for example) which makes these pictures of her in New York today completely perplexing. Either Helen Thomas looks terrific or Ashlee has been hexed by something.

Melrose Place is gonna suck

By brendon August 04, 2009 @ 5:50 PM

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The cast of the the new “Melrose Place” has been gathered for the first time to present them to the media, and, um … really? If your plan is to get a bunch of sexy girls, and Ashlee Simpson is the hottest one, your plan has gone horribly wrong. You could get hotter girls by dialing the numbers written on bathroom walls. From left to right, they are: The One No One Likes, EEOC Proof of Compliance, The One No One Likes Mom, Halloween Decoration, Angerina Jorie, and AnnaLynn McBoard.

hahaha, you suck ashlee

By brendon April 08, 2009 @ 2:05 PM

Yesterday Ashlee Simpson was beaming with pride as she posted a new picture with her baby on Twitter.  Ashlees husband Pete Wentz wasn’t in the picture with them, because the night before his band had a concert at the Palms in Vegas and then he got drunk with dozens of strippers.

"Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers."

Ashlee was actually at that same Palms show to see Pete, but drove home to LA when it was over to be with the baby.   On her Twitter, she wrote…

"I am beyond sad to leave my love … My heart is breaking as we drive home."

I like to think I would have done the honorable thing and gone home with Ashlee Simpson and the baby instead of getting jacked off by strippers.  I also like to think I’ll be a rocket ship captain one day.  Weeee, pretending is fun!

afternoon headlines

By brendon March 26, 2009 @ 9:06 AM

ASHLEE SIMPSON – Page Six says, “Party animals-turned-parents Ashlee and Pete are having trouble … ‘(they’re) on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home’ ”. The story is way better if you just read, “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks … stuck … in trouble … animals”.  (source = page six)

MADONNA – an official in Malawi says Madonna has filed adoption papers and will travel there this weekend for a procedural hearing.  She says, “I am the template or the role model for future adoptions.”  She’s definitely my adoption role model.  Her secret is to apply to the proper agencies then fill out the paperwork.  The old way was not only inefficient, it was dangerous, hundreds of kids died. (source = BBC)

LINDSAY LOHAN – the only movie she's finished in two years, “Labor Pains”, is skipping theatres and will premiere on ABC Family.  Which isn’t related to Marisa Miller on a motorbike in any way, but I already loaded these and didn’t feel like doing other ones. ta-da!  (source = us magazine)

ashlee is going to melrose place

By brendon March 09, 2009 @ 10:25 AM

I’ll never forget the first time I saw Ashlee Simpson on a TV series.  She of course got her big break seven years ago on the WB series "7th Heaven".  Just to be clear, when I say I'll never forget, it’s because I never knew it in the first place, because I have no idea what that is.  So needless to say it was very wise of the new WB to hitch their wagon to Ashlees star once again.  Can her follow up live up to the original that I never heard of?  Let's find out!  The Hollywood Reporter says…

The singer-actress has been tapped as a lead on the CW's "Melrose Place" update.  Simpson-Wentz will play Melrose Place's newest resident, Violet, a bright-eyed but shrewd small-town girl and recent L.A. transplant who has come to town with a secret.

What are the odds her secret is gonna be anything even remotely interesting?  Like she has a penis, or hates Jews.  I mean really hates them.