Pete Wentz and his sexy new wife Ashlee Simpson left the house yesterday and walked around like this.  With Pete wearing a paper plate over his face.  Get it?  Because I don’t.  Suffice to say, it wasn’t funny.  It barely even qualifies as stupid.  It’s just confusing.  But I’m willing to bet these idiots chuckled and snorted for a good 20 minutes before they stepped outside.  "Are you really going to do it I can’t believe your going to do it!"  "Oh my god, this is going to be so funny!"   I just hope he stops here.  My funny bone can only take so much of his kitchen-related hilarity.  If he were to walk out with cookies over his eyes, or a spatula for a hand, I may lose it.  God forbid he discover the spinning bow tie.  I might literally die.

(full size picture here, another pic here)



I’m sure you don’t care, because why on earth would you, but Ashlee Simpson did indeed get married to Pete Wentz Saturday at a ceremony held at her parents house.  OK! says…

Around noon on Saturday, the groom arrived via limo at the Encinco, Calif., home of Ashlee's dad Joe Simpson, who also officiated over the non-denominational ceremony under white tents.
Big sis Jess, who arrived with on-off beau Tony Romo before noon in the Employee of the Month star's Range Rover, was maid of honor. According to reports, Pete's bulldog Hemingway served as ring-bearer.

Does Joe Simpson have any fucking hobbies, or does he spend every waking minute injecting himself into the lives of his daughters.  Nick Lachey said Joe was the main reason his relationship with Jessica failed, and last week Romo said the same.  I know someone that will run him over for 200 dollars.  Email me Pete.

Ashlee Simpsons’ moms house in Encino, California is getting made over today to prep for Ashlee's wedding to Pete Wentz tomorrow.  Many seem to think the wedding is coming together so quickly because Ashlee is pregnant and her dad doesn’t want her to start showing while she’s single.  She hasn’t confirmed it yet, but everyone knows Ashlee is in fact pregnant.  Which reminds me, what are the odds this kid will be able to throw a football without looking like a complete homo?  Yeah, yeah that’s what I thought too. 

(picture source = inf daily)



Bored indifference is sweeping the nation this morning on the heels of Us magazines exclusive claim that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will get married in 5 days, this Saturday, May 17th, at a secret location.  Us says…

    "Proper invites have not been sent out but instead guests have been given a save the date notice," the source told Us.
    The rehearsal dinner – described by the source as "an intimate affair" for "family and close friends only" – will take place on Friday.
    On Saturday, "all guests will be transported in shuttles to the wedding location," the source explained.
    Regarding Simpson's upcoming wedding, her spokesperson told Us: "This is a private matter. There is nothing to confirm."

I just hope this means the rumors are true and she really is pregnant.  What a gift to the music world that child would be.  I know it's early, but I think a good name for the prodigy's first album would be, "Fuck You Brendon’s Ears".

This has disaster written all over it, but monkeys stole designer clothes from Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz as they were vacationing in Costa Rica last week.  Contact Music says…

Simpson explains, "We'd go to sleep and we'd wake up, and the maid wasn't even here, but sunglasses, my Sony, my favorite Wireseal hat, all this stuff, my favorite make-up bag (was gone). We were like, 'Where is everything?' We asked the hotel and they said that the monkeys like shiny things.  That monkey has some serious designer clothes."

Gee, after reading that last line, I wonder if the comment section will be filled with the most awful racist jokes ever.  Yeah.  Yeah thats what I figured.



Page Six says today that Joe Simpson, dad and manager of Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, is already shopping around pictures of the baby of Ashlee and her fiancé, Pete Wentz, even though it hasn't been officially confirmed that she's even pregnant, and according to that picture above taken Tuesday, any delivery date would seem to be a very long way away.  All that's known for sure is that that was one really long opening sentence.

Joe Simpson is trying to cash in on the baby-crazed trend in celebrity magazines – but he's having a difficult time.
A magazine source said, "Joe is contacting all the weeklies and asking them to pony up $1 million to put Ashlee on the cover.  The deal would include photos of Ashlee – taken by Joe, of course, so he can make more money – an interview and photos of the baby when she has it," our source said.
Sadly, there is some interest – but not for anything close to $1 million.
One magazine editor said the pictures would fetch "$60,000 maybe – but definitely not a million. The timing is a little suspicious. Her album is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly."
But even with the marriage announcement, "Joe has an unrealistic expectation of what Ashlee can command," the editor said.

Jessica Simpson could be the biggest star in the world but her dimwat dad can't manage to do anything right.  This entire family is retarded.  In fact I heard the Simpson family crest just shows some dude with his shirt on inside out and backwards, sitting at a table in front of a bowl of rocks with a spoon in it.