I have no idea what iHeartRadio is, or what the iHeartRadio Music Festival was, but it was in Vegas this weekend at the MGM, and they had Ashley Greene in a magic dress that made her boobs quadruple in size. Is there a festival for those dresses. Because I would be way more interested in attending that.
(image source = getty)
Just a few hours after Kourtney Kardashian went shopping yesterday on Melrose, dressed in a flimsy and awesomely short skirt (shorts?), Ashley Green wore something almost identical in Beverly Hills. And both outfits had floral prints on them that were so astoundingly ugly that if flowers actually looked like that, people would burn them wherever they appeared.
So either this is my favorite new fashion trend, or it’s just a cool coincidence. Or it could also be that Ashley and Kourtney are secret lovers, and they spent Wednesday night fucking each other senseless in a room full of whips and blindfolds and straps to tie each other down, and vibrators so powerful that the lights dim when they plug them in, and then the next morning one of them just grabbed something out of the closet because her clothes from the night before were all sweaty and ripped and burned.
In case it wasn’t clear, of the three scenarios, my preference is that last one.
(image source = pacific coast and fame)
It was just yesterday morning when a rep announced that Ashley Greene had broken up with Joe Jonas after dating for 8 months. Immediately after that she spent the rest of the day with Jared Followill, the bass player for Kings of Leon.
Who ever could have guessed that an attractive woman would be an ice cold, black-hearted monster who cares nothing of the trail of broken hearts she leaves in her wake? Not me!
(image source = inf daily)
Long before Demi Lovato left the Jonas Brothers tour and checked into a treatment center this weekend, reportedly to address her cutting issues, she was dating Joe Jonas. Which no doubt would make it awkward to be touring with Joe Jonas. Especially since he’s with Ashley Greene now. E! says…
However, things came to a breaking point in recent months.
“After she split with Joe, it was just a whole bunch of drama, very awkward. Everyone tried to be professional, but you could tell it was wearing down Demi. It was a taboo subject to bring up, but clearly she wasn’t over Joe.”
At the airport in Peru on Saturday, Demi got into a scuffle with a backup dancer (and threatened) Ashley Greene, who was at the airport as well.
In Demi’s defense, she should be upset about Ashley Greene, because Ashley Greene is way way better than her. She’s way way hotter and she’s naked all the time. Remember the Sobe body paint campaign? And her private full frontal pictures? And her private full frontal pictures? Ahhh, and let’s not forget about her private full frontal pictures!
Adobe is pretty full of themselves considering their main product is Photoshop, which they charge 800 dollars for, and that’s mostly used by people like me to investigate any possible celebrity camel toes and x-ray their shirts. That company needs to mellow the fuck out.
Ashley Greene hosted a pool party at Wet Republic in Vegas this weekend, and all the pictures so far are pretty damn boring. But Splash just released some more, and I guess they sort of help. I still don’t know why there aren’t more. There better have been something pretty god damn fascinating at this party. Anything short of this and these punk ass photographers have some serious explaining to do.
