Ashley Greene Condo Fire Case Cracked

By Matt October 27, 2014 @ 7:19 AM


After Ashley Greene’s condo burned down last year someone found a crack pipe in it, according to her building manager Adrian Mayorga. Apart from spreading sensationalized rumors about her, Mayorga is suing Greene for respiratory damage he incurred while huffing smoke from the flames. He is also insinuating Greene and the other two people in the place being fucked up could have led to the fire, since after they evacuated they looked:

“Disoriented … they looked like they were drunk or under the influence of something.”

Usually a raging fire that destroys an entire condo in the middle of the night can lead you to appear disoriented, whether you are planning to attend church in the morning or rack lines with Charlie Sheen. Mayorga’s money grab may or may not succeed. It’s not illegal to own a glass pipe if you use it for non-crack purposes like just pretending to be a crack pipe smoker for Halloween. Greene will no doubt have to pay out some money, but that’s part of the deal when you have deep pockets and you let a candle catch your curtains on fire like a fucking nitwit. This isn’t a homestead in late nineteenth century Dakota territories, its a condo in LA. Dim the lights, Twilight moron.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Ashley Greene Had A Nice Workout

By Travis February 20, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

Ashley Greene should have been one of the few actors to make it out of the Twilight franchise with some star potential, but aside from a few roles in things that nobody cared about, she hasn’t been doing much of anything. That doesn’t really matter, though, as long as she keeps taking long walks to the gym in her workout clothes, because this should be enough to make her one of the most successful actresses in the world. In fact, if there’s an Oscar for Best Work in a Sports Bra, she’d easily be a frontrunner this year. Hopefully she remembers to thank me in her acceptance speech for always believing in her from more than 500 feet away.

Photo Credits:

Ashley Greene Is Dating This Random Guy

By Travis September 30, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Ashley Greene could be a neo-Nazi with a horrible secret past of murdering children, but even if that was true she’d still be the hottest kid-killing Hitler fan out there. That’s why it’s kind of disappointing that she’s dating this random bearded guy in a tank top instead of someone a lot more famous. Of course, even if she was dating a huge star, it’d still be my right as a guy who writes shit on the Internet to make fun of him, but I’d at least like to know the name of the guy I’m calling a douchebag before she eventually dumps his ass. It’s only fair to him.

(Photo Credits:

Ashley Greene Is A Considerate Daredevil

By Travis July 29, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Twilight actress Ashley Greene seems like a very nice young woman, as evidenced by some of the photos that she posts to her Instagram account. For example, this photo and this photo both feature things that appeal to me and many other men throughout the world, and they make me want to see Ashley in more films that don’t involve really shitty acting and the least scariest vampires ever.

Yesterday, she added the above image of herself on a trapeze, and I’m hoping that she follows it up with a sun dress on a trampoline. Or a sex tape. Whatever she’s feeling up to.

Ashley Greene In GQ Russia

By Lex July 12, 2013 @ 1:29 PM

Ashley In Lingerie For Greene In GQ Russia

Photo Credit: GQ

Ashley Greene’s Condo Just Burned Down

By Lex March 22, 2013 @ 3:12 PM

Residents in the building who live near Ashley tell TMZ … Ashley’s brother and assistant had been going in and out of the condo all morning. One resident says she heard glass exploding in Ashley’s condo.

I guess I have a suspicious mind, but this sounds pretty suspicious to me, right before a fire takes out the whole place, including one of Ashley’s dogs. Which pisses me off, because I love dogs. Even the bitchy little yappers Ashley had. Dogs don’t deserve to die because of stupid people doing stupid things.

I don’t exactly know how I can help Ashley out. So here’s some hot photos of her to remind you that it’s easier to feel sorry when bad things happen to good looking people.