06.12.2009 friday morning headlines

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MADONNA - A ruling by Malawi’s highest court today cleared the way for Madonna to finally adopt four-year-old “Mercy” James. When asked what turned the tide in Madonnas favor, the judge took off his big scary mask and said he saw a crow scratch a check mark in the dirt, and right after that it rained. Africa sure is awesome.  (source = cnn)

THE GI JOE MOVIE - may be one of the worst things ever filmed. The director has now been fired, and there’s this: “I have heard several really bad things about the film from a few informed sources. Common word is that it is a disaster for Paramount, and that a lot of unplanned post-production work was done … just to make the thing watchable.” Wait, are they claiming the director of the Mummy and Van Helsing made a bad movie? Because that seems very hard to believe. (source = /film)

ASHLEY GREENE - looked better in a bikini last week, but she gave it a gold-medal try with her dress at last nights Rock and Republic party in LA. She should just get huge implants and then she wouldn’t need to pull her dress that tight to get cleavage. Of course big tits are my answer to everything. Especially the question, “What is something that’s terrific?” (source = wenn and splash. hq jump = here)


05.26.2009 Ashley Greene is very famous

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From what I understand, “Twilight” is super cool, and I bet once I see it my soul will fall under it’s erotic spell of forbidden love and hushed affection.   Until then, I have no idea who Ashley Greene is, but she was in a bikini this weekend and I can prove it.  

According to her IMDb page, “Ashley had to learn to pitch like a professional for the baseball scene in Twilight.”   According to youtube, “No.  No she didn’t.”   Thankfully the Twilight fanbase doesn’t watch sports or exercise and probably thinks “baseball” is some kind of quidditch rip-off, so Ashley could have thrown the ball with her feet and no one would have ever said a word.

(jump to hq here)