Ashley Judd’s Internet Troll Crusade The Best Celebrity Internet Troll Crusade Yet This Week

By Lex March 23, 2015 @ 10:33 AM

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Attacking social media trolls is the new me-too take for celebrities who in 2015 have suddenly become aware of the trolls who’ve existed since it was the ARPANET in the 70′s and Army dudes were calling Navy dudes dipshit fag nuts via teletext. Guys who called Ashley Judd a cunt on Twitter or talked about wishing they could shove their obviously large dicks in her ass deserve a beatdown as all insanely stupid people do. She’s rooting for Kentucky on Twitter. It’s basketball. Write Wildcats SUCKKK!!!! and then maybe comment on her latest plastic surgery cat eyes and move the fuck on.

Ashley Judd is going after the trolls with a combination of essays on being sexually assaulted as a child, a series of sympathetic editorials from men who believe men are inherently evil save for themselves, naturally, and potentially lawsuits and getting people kicked out of shit ala Curt Schilling. Once again I’m left wondering why. It’s lamentable that some percentage of men are pigs. That you can’t do everything in this world in a completely safe and sane environment. It’d be nice if you could feed your ego by being a social media star on all things sports and global warming and only have people respond positively and with lots of Likes and LOLs and thumbs up. Grow the fuck up. The world isn’t perfect. You can’t repair the cracks with empty crusader tears.

If you want girls to be free of social media trolls, get them off social media. It’s a complete waste of time. Inspire them to become the next Silicon Valley CEO, not the next feuding low paid Internet fame whore. You’re a 46 year old actress with some decent residuals piled up. You might have time for 18,000 Tweets and taking a few weeks off to chase down the trolls. It’s not surrender to move on to more productive pursuits. Jesus doesn’t give you scoreboard for pointless battles. Get five chicks and yourself off Twitter and you’ll have saved the world.

Photo credit: GettyImages

Ashley Judd Hands Feeds Trolls

By Matt March 18, 2015 @ 7:07 AM

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Ashley Judd is suing a bunch of Internet trolls who called her a whore and a cunt and told her to suck dicks on Twitter because she doesn’t know how to hit ignore and she thinks Curt Schilling is a hero. Judd was watching NCAA basketball because she is a Kentucky fan and clearly has lots of time on her hands to watch entire conference tournaments and sue people’s Twitter handles. She tweeted:

“Arkansas is playing dirty”

What followed was the aforementioned trolling because that’s what happens on Twitter because it’s a den of mean losers. Judd is pushing ahead full force:

“The amount of gender violence that I experienced is absolutely extraordinary… A significant part of my day today will be spent filing police reports at home about gender violence that’s directed at me on social media.”

Stop the missing person’s search, let’s get the True Detectives on Judd’s social media page. It sucks people call you names and make generic threats on Twitter. If you’re a woman they’ll indeed focus on that. Same if you’re black or Mexican or even one of those fake accounts that pictures a cocker spaniel. At best you’re wasting the cops’ time and at worst you’re giving these losers validation. Twitter sucks by the way. Block yourself.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Ashley Judd Can’t Afford Bras

By Lex September 08, 2014 @ 9:28 AM

Ashley Judd Braless During Dolphin Take 2 Premiere In LA
If you’re like me, you’ve been waiting patiently for Dolphin Tales 2, the sequel to the film about one plucky little girl or boy, I can’t remember, who helps rescue a cute as fuck dolphin who lost its tale to the Gorton’s Fisherman’s hook. As with all her roles of the past decade, the actress whose face used to look like Ashley Judd played the single mom trying to do right by her kids. Transitioning into the mom in crappy animal movie roles might be a blow to Ashley’s leading lady ego, but that doesn’t give her the right to flash her unchecked breasts to the kids. The sight of unfettered tits turn young people into rapists and polluters. Even the dolphin whose tale they hacked off again in time for the sequel was making annoying high pitched whistles in distress. We can eat the dolphin to make it shut up. But we can’t eat the children. Get yourself a bra, Ashley. Save those nipped and tucked bad boys for an evening affair.

Photo Credit: Splash

Ashley Judd Refuses To Become The Hottest Senator

By Travis March 28, 2013 @ 9:00 AM







I’ll admit that the headline would have been a lot better if Ashley Judd had announced that she was running for Senate in 2003, but have you looked at America’s politicians lately? She’s still a 10 compared to most of those bridge trolls. But it’s a moot point now, because the daughter of Naomi Judd admitted yesterday that she has no plans of running for senate in Kentucky, despite previously claiming that she’d make a decision by May.

“After serious and thorough contemplation, I realize that my responsibilities & energy at this time need to be focused on my family. Regretfully, I am currently unable to consider a campaign for the Senate,” she tweeted.

Judd had been making preparations for a run, meeting with Washington and Kentucky Democrats in the months prior to discuss a potential challenge to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.). (The Hill)

So I guess that’s good news for New Hampshire senator Kelly Ayotte, who reclaims the title of the most “Yeah, I Guess” woman in senate.

This is also great news for Karl Rove, because he and his American Crossroads friends were so worried about Judd’s chances of winning McConnell’s seat that they didn’t even waste any time in launching the above attack ad back in January to turn Kentucky against her. But why waste all of that money on an angry minute of TV space when they could have just showed everyone this clip from Tooth Fairy and had the same results?

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Gerard Butler Wants to Have Sex With Ashley Judd

By Lex March 20, 2013 @ 2:48 PM

Gerard Butler wants to have sex with every woman. He’s had sex with every woman. But at the premiere of his movie Olympus Has Fallen last night, he checked Ashley Judd up and down like he was plotting his specific penile point of entry. You and I couldn’t get away with this sexual visual scrubdown of Ashley Judd. But when Gerard Butler does it, it’s a compliment. We’d be slapped, most likely with a lawsuit, if not an actual hand. Gerard Butler was probably slapped with Ashley Judd’s tit in his face about two hours after the premiere was over in a penthouse suite at the Four Seasons. In short, if you’re rich and famous and good looking and have an accent, you can have whatever the fuck you want. It’s a life option to consider.

Photo credit: Splash News / Getty

Ashley Judd might run for Senate

By brendon December 04, 2012 @ 7:06 PM

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Ashley Judd has been famous for like 15 years, and never once have I heard anyone say, “you know what would be great? If she were a Senator.” That’s because it’s a dumb idea.

The Hollywood movie star and eighth-generation Kentuckian is seriously exploring a 2014 run for the Senate to take on the powerful Republican leader, four people familiar with the matter tell Politico. In recent weeks, Judd has spoken with Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) about the possibility of a run, has discussed a potential bid with a Democratic pollster and has begun to conduct opposition research on herself to see where she’s most vulnerable in the Bluegrass State.

If I were her opponent I would play up the fact that Ashley looks like a fat Chinese baby these days. That won’t go over well in Kentucky. If this pampered Hong Kong millionaire prince thinks he can come over and take our jobs, we’ll he’s got anther thing comin!