By Lex October 17, 2014 @ 2:06 PM
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those shocked by the Stephen Collins’ admissions and those who have even been kid actors coming up in Hollywood. Corey Feldman is the Jose Canseco of former child actors. He wrote the book on the pedophiles and pederasts that fill Hollywood in unduly large numbers and everybody laughed at him. Just like Canseco on steroids. Two unlikable losers who happened to be telling the truth about what really happens in the locker room.
I thought about this when I saw Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale looking shocked about something. You could tell these girls that the pastor dad from Seventh Heaven fondled a girl and all they’d ask if he left marks so obvious that they’d prevent the poor girl from taking vagina selfies. They’re probably talking about a crazy sale on boots. I just assume that’s what girls are talking about. I used to think they were secretly talking about me, but that turned out to be completely wrong.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex May 19, 2014 @ 3:53 PM
It’s well established through urban legend, porn plot #178, and office gossip that bachelorette parties are far wilder than you’re typical guys bachelor parties. By the time men get to bachelor parties, they’re just doing mostly the same shit they’ve done a dozen times before, only without a wet blanket future in law tag-along. Even the Hangover movie series couldn’t get past number one without running out of ideas. But when women start going shot for shot and the estrogen strands uncoil, millions of years of repressed gatherer urges come to the forefront and greased up male genitalia starts getting snapped back and forth like a tether ball. None of that shit seems to be happening yet on the yacht Vanessa Hudgens hooked up in Miami for Ashley Tisdale’s bachelorette party. The two have been good friends since High School Musical days when they bonded over the challenge of being only seventeen and already having promised to take Zac Efron’s secret to the grave. I’d like to be around when these hot midgets uncork the booze after sunset and start grousing about the double standards women must endure in society. I’ve seen porn plot #178. I do know what happens next. I can handle the subjugation.
Photo credit: FameFlynet / Splash News
By Lex April 25, 2014 @ 3:13 PM
Nobody is wearing bras anymore in this town. It used to be for some feminist rebellion, now I just think it’s because women figured there’s no point in ripping up their pecs at the gym five days a week if they’re going to strap on the underwire and fake the shape. I wouldn’t pay $250 an hour to see Tracy Anderson if she couldn’t get my man boobs in commando shape for the summer. Good for you, Ashley Tisdale. You don’t need a bra, you need another Disney movie pretending to be a high school cheerleader. You got maybe four more years before you start playing the teacher and then they’re going to make you wear a bra.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Travis June 13, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
MySpace is apparently back with a brand new design, and the people behind it celebrated last night by throwing a party at the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles with a bunch of really cool young people to let you know how hip it is. Among the stars in attendance were Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale and Maxim’s No. 1 on the Hot 100 list, Miley Cyrus, who once again wasn’t even the hottest woman at a MySpace party on a Wednesday night.
Tara Reid was also there, which sounds a little strange because she’s neither young nor cool, but I think her purpose was to stand on the stage under a sign that read, “Then” so it would make sense when Olivia Wilde stood under a sign that read, “Now”.
(Photo Credits: Getty)
By Travis May 22, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
When you give everyone an unfiltered open forum like Twitter, you’re bound to come across a few assholes, and while most of them spend their 140 characters bitching about politics or sports, some end up being just a little more psychotic than others. For instance, a guy named Nicholas Fiore has Tweeted at Ashley Tisdale (seen above confusing the Scary Movie 5 premiere with the Oscars) more than 18,000 times in two years, and according to the actress, he has threatened to shoot her and her boyfriend.
However, per TMZ, despite the threats and Ashley’s claims that Nicholas has been to her home at least twice, a Los Angeles County Superior Court judge only granted a temporary 100-yard restraining order, as opposed to the 5,000-yards she was asking for. That means it is possible that the judge has seen Scary Movie 5.
(Photo Credit: Getty)
By Lex March 21, 2013 @ 2:48 PM
Yep, it’s really been seven years since you were left holding your dong in your hands and trying not to remember any of the songs from High School Musical as you met Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale for the very first time. As gay and almost statutorial rapey as that Disney musical experience was, it has blossomed, into two still tiny, but pretty damn hot young women who are still best friends, and gym partners. On the scale of Peeping Tom perversions, checking out girls in their 20′s in stretch pants and low cut tops working out is not nearly as damning as watching late teen girls dance with Zac Efron. So you’re good to go.
Photo credit: FameFlynet