Demi Moore and her way cool husband Ashton Kutcher were on stage at a Snoop Dog concert in Vegas Friday night (good luck figuring out which race should be more embarrassed by that statement), and while Ashton sat and pantomimed, “I’m a jackass with no improv skills” to the crowd, Demi did a sexy dance for Snoop.
Even though she looks good for her age, her age is 47. Did you ever go to a dance in junior high and have the chaperon and teachers start dancing too? This was like that, except worse because at least the dance would have had my incredible mix CD. Savage Garden, Aqua, Smash Mouth - they’re all here, in one amazing collection!
After you’re done admiring this picture of Ashton Kutcher driving his 15,000 pound CXT truck which gets 7 miles to the gallon, you should check out this video of Ashton blaming the Republicans for the BP oil spill and shedding a tear for the environment.
As you watch it keep in mind that the drill that blew up and started the leak was ordered in 1998 and laid down in 2000, while the convention he refers to was in 2008. And there’s also this. But whatever. Ashton says…
“If you could go back to the Republican national convention and look the guys in the eyes that were saying, ‘DRILL DRILL DRILL’, at the Republican national convention, those guys, there you go, that’s what we got, like, we did it, we drilled drilled drilled.”
The Republican party is filled with reprehensible men and women but luckily for them Ashton is a fucking moron so he can’t get to that point without taking everyone on a 10 hour journey with no end in sight where, in no particular order, he stammers off things he thinks he heard about politics at a coke party in Malibu. It’s no wonder everyone holds Hollywood actors in such high regard.
Ashton Kutcher dated Brittany Murphy for almost two years, and they never went public with it but they might have even been engaged before breaking up in 2003, so when the shocking news of her untimely death broke yesterday, he composed himself long enough to write a touching eulogy, in 140 characters or less.
“2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon.”
Don’t dry your tears yet because then he added…
“see you on the other side kid.”
Wow. What a jackass. He turns 32 in just about a month, but he still writes with numbers, just like the young people do. And by “young people” I mean, “12-year-olds.” You’d think he’d be a little kinder. In a month Brittany will be nothing but a skeleton with loose wrinkled skin, and since he’s married to one of those already, I thought that’s what he liked.
Ashton Kutchers magic touch seems to have struck gold once again. He’s a producer on “the Beautiful Life”, a new show that ignored all logic and cast Mischa Barton as a model. Will anyone watch a show like this? Sometimes critics try to save shows they love with a big “Best Shows You’re Not Watching” article. Although now I’m getting off topic, because that’s not relevant to this show, which won’t be any good and no one will try to save.
Hollywood actors are often pretty dumb, and many really famous actors are practically retarded. Their job is to read a sentence and then a few days later say it out loud, and they can rarely even do that on the first try, but for some reason they think this makes them experts on a wide range of topics. This is very rarely true. Remember when Cameron Diaz went on Oprah and said that if you didn’t vote for John Kerry rape would be legal. Well we didn’t, and trust me it’s not. If it was I’d be hiding in Megan Fox’s closet right now. Oh but look, I’m rambling. Let’s see what Ashton Kutcher has on his mind today. Yahoo says…
“Kutcher has taken to his Twitter blog to voice support for the Iranian people - and urge US officials not to get involved in the uprising.
‘Considering how well fighting 4 freedom in Iraq went, I dont know that we should B jumping in2 this Iran deal. I think that truly the only people that can change things in Iran are the Iranians themselves and they seem to be speaking their minds now.’”
Hmm. Should we B jumping in2 this? I thought so be4 but now 404. I’d like to hear what Drew Barrymore has to say about Iran before I make up my mind. Drew, ?4U. Srs Bzns. I’m sending a reminder kitty kat so you don’t forget. =^..^=
Ashton Kutcher posted a video this morning to document his little hissy fit because a construction crew was working next door at 7:30 am. He pans the camera around his custom built million-dollar estate (what time was that built?) and calls his neighbor a, "fuckin jackass" "dickweed". He says the neighbor just decided to build a house right next door. As if it was a prank or something. I'm pretty sure you’re allowed to build on your own property, but Ashton thinks that’s bullshit. And he really hit a nerve with the public, because the groundswell of support has been amazing. Here are some of the youtube comments:
- "Waaah people with real jobs are interrupting my sleep." - "Deal with it, you douche!" - "Give me a fucking break. The rest of the country has to wake up at that time. Think of the guys building the house who are waking up at 5 to get there to work on the house. You're so fucking spoiled it makes me sick. Welcome to the real world fucker." - "Maybe he can go cry to Grandma Demi about it." - "LOL how brave of him. he talks shit behind the dude's back but can't muster it to his face.you'll lose your teeth ashton. whiny bitch."
Oh, wait, never mind . As it turns out, we don’t give a fuck when spoiled crybaby actors are faced with a mild inconvenience. The only way Ashton could have looked any more like a bitch is if he paused the camera to go put on lipstick.
update - In Ashton's defense, he posted this apology about an hour ago.
