Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be dumb. I don’t mean like the ‘you’re an idiot!’ comments I often get. Or even my truly mediocre educational achievement level. I mean, really dumb. Like a puppy. Where people wave shiny objects and you chase them kind of dumb.
Here’s Audrina Patridge getting her daily organic smoothie.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Audrina Patridge has the mental processing power of bubble wrap, but she’s super good looking, which makes that first part irrelevant. Yes, attractive people always succeed and the world is unfair and blah blah blah. Suck it up, ugly people. When people pay attention to you, you’ll know it means they really like you as a person, not just a virtual fucktoy. So, there’s that.
Here’s Audrina in STNDRD magazine. They spell about as well I do.
Photo Credit: Stndrd Magazine
There are two possible reasons for why Audrina Patridge is doing the hula hoop in a bikini on the beach. One, she is pretty dumb. That’s not really so much a reason as it is an explanation for an entire array of inexplicable actions on the part of the former Hills hybrid reality star. Two, she’s being paid. I’m betting on two because even though one is certainly true, I don’t think she finds her way to a toy store to buy a hula hoop all by herself. There’s outside management at work here. In either case, she’d make one hell of a hula hoop instructor. Or trophy wife I could never afford.
Photo credit: WENN
Reality TV star Audrina Patridge looked stunning in a orange bikini as she chilled out on the beach in Mexico today. Those are the photo agencies words, not mine. She’s an 8, at best, and if she was any kind of a “star” than I wouldn’t have called her “Partridge” for two years.
(image source = splash)
These bikini pictures of Audrina Patridge came out on Friday, then over the weekend people started to figure out Audrinas mom was in some of the pictures too, and now the internet is going all apeshit with dumb MILF and incest jokes.
And yes, her mom looks good in the headline picture. They’re practically twins. Oh wait never mind. You always need more than one picture. If the first picture always told the truth I wouldn’t have flirted with so many fat girls on myspace. Or men.
(image source = bauer griffin and splash news online)
There’s been an amazing amount of bikini pictures this week, and now you can add Audrina Patridge on the beach yesterday in Santa Monica to the list. A few notes about these:
– Her husky friend can do a backflip, which I found stunning.
– She has a perfect white girl ass (note: those are the best kind).
– She actually wore two bikinis for some reason. I’m sorry, make that three.
– I’m not the one who cropped this picture to highlight her kitty. The photo agency did that all by itself. I’m not certain why. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be seeing. I mean I still masturbated to it, but between me and you I was just being polite.
(image source = splash news online)
