These bikini pictures of Audrina Patridge came out on Friday, then over the weekend people started to figure out Audrinas mom was in some of the pictures too, and now the internet is going all apeshit with dumb MILF and incest jokes.
And yes, her mom looks good in the headline picture. They’re practically twins. Oh wait never mind. You always need more than one picture. If the first picture always told the truth I wouldn’t have flirted with so many fat girls on myspace. Or men.
(image source = bauer griffin and splash news online)
There’s been an amazing amount of bikini pictures this week, and now you can add Audrina Patridge on the beach yesterday in Santa Monica to the list. A few notes about these:
- Her husky friend can do a backflip, which I found stunning.
- She has a perfect white girl ass (note: those are the best kind).
- She actually wore two bikinis for some reason. I’m sorry, make that three.
- I’m not the one who cropped this picture to highlight her kitty. The photo agency did that all by itself. I’m not certain why. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be seeing. I mean I still masturbated to it, but between me and you I was just being polite.
(image source = splash news online)
CHRIS BROWN - took a naked picture of himself in a mirror, and it leaked over the weekend. I’m sure this video scan of the picture reaches the bottom of his penis at some point. Let me know how it turns out. (media take out)
RANGO - won the weekend box office with $38 million, easily beating the Adjustment Bureau which was second with $20.9M. When Matt Damon heard about this, he took a knife and ran the blade over the palm of his hand, made a fist and squeezed the blood through his fingers and vowed to get his revenge on Johnny Depp, so stay tuned. (deadline)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE - filmed her new show in Palm beach, Florida, and I would skip these if I were you because she looked terrible. Her only appeal was her big tits and they look way smaller now, and my interest in her is directly proportionate to her breast size. (splash and inf daily)
Audrina Patridge is the new (ceiling-eyed) face of Bongo, something I assumed was a big honor until I saw, “only at KMart and Sears”. She still looks good of course, but do you know what else KMart and Sears have the cornered the market on? White trash and depression.
(image source = splash news online)
NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER - but they can put her in a dress with big ruffles, because Jennifer Grey will be a contestant on ‘Dancing With The Stars’, along with Brandy, Florence Henderson, Audrina Patridge, and Bristol Palin. The men will be Kurt Warner, David Hasselhoff, The Situation, Michael Bolton, Kyle Massey, Rick Fox and Margaret Cho. Remember, mini dresses can set the dance floor ablaze in hot red tones or shades of pink or purple. They’ll make heads turn and add pizzazz to your performance. That tip goes for the fellas too, since I now assume you’re all gay. (la times)
JOHN CUSACK - was asked about the proposed mosque near Ground Zero, and he wrote, “I AM FOR A SATANIC DEATH CULT CENTER AT FOX NEWS HQ AND OUTSIDE THE OFFICES (OF) DICK ARMEY AND NEWT GINGRICH-and all the GOP WELFARE FREAKS”. Because those people are against the mosque, and Cusack believes in free expression. Unless you disagree with him, in which case he’ll advocate murdering you. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it. (twitter)
JESSICA SIMPSON - is flaunting “her voluptuous figure” in these pictures, according to the Daily Mail. I don’t know what it said after that though because I opened two pictures of Jessica at once and my monitor fell through the table. (daily mail)
Audrina Patridge and her boyfriend are on Bora Bora, and though sometimes celebrities will secretly arrange exclusive pictures with photo agencies, this seems more like the paparazzi were just hanging out at the bottom of the ocean and got some pictures of her diving. What luck!
(source = splash news online)
