morning headlines

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 12:49 PM

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BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – were photographed makin out in Paris on the set of her new movie. Perhaps all part of their intricate plan to trick the media into thinking they’re still together, which is apparently crucial for some reason that no one has ever bothered to explain. (just jared)

BONER - from ‘Growing Pains’ was last seen in Vancouver 10 days ago, and this morning his dad from ‘Star Trek’ asked for the public’s help. I bet this goes really well. “Chief we just got a tip from Mr. Hugh G. Rection saying Boner has gone limp on the corner of Imfuckin and Yomama. Should I send paramedics?” (people)

CHARLIE SHEEN - has entered a rehab for addiction to alcohol and cocaine. Let’s hope he get’s the help he needs. Everyone deserves a four-thousandth chance. (radar)

ROB ZOMBIE - is directing an episode of ‘CSI: Miami’, and this is the preview for it. Like every other episode of this dumb show, it looks like a complete piece of shit, but this one is Rob Zombier. (foundry)

AUSTRALIAN GIRLS - are fucking terrific. I don’t even know what Sophie Turner does, but she’s doing an amazing job at it. Whatever the championship trophy is called in her field, it should be renamed in her honor. (pacific coast)

friday afternoon headlines

By brendon January 15, 2010 @ 5:31 PM

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TIGER WOODS - is donating $3M in medical care and supplies to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti, and he may give even more to a similar charity run by Wyclef Jean. In a related story, I got a new cashmere blanket and slept like a little angel last night. Actually I guess those two stories arent that related. (fox sports)

WYCLEF JEAN - Remember that story about Tiger Woods donating money to Wyclefs Jeans charity to help those affected by the earthquake in Haiti? Well it could really enrich a lot of lives, although mostly Wyclefs, because apparently he keeps most of the money for himself. (the smoking gun)

OPIE AND ANTHONY - had celebrity journalist Ian Halperin on the show this morning, and he claims he’s heard the Tiger Woods sex tape. And I don’t mean to brag, but I saw 5 new songs from Kanye, and kicked that Jessica Alba is pregnant again. Look at me everyone, I’m a journalist! (youtube)

CONAN O’BRIEN - is out to salvage what he can from the Tonight Show, so he put it up for sale on craigslist. When Leno saw the ad, he laughed really loud and clapped his hands and said how funny it was, then went behind the scenes and ordered someone to beat up Conans wife. (craigslist)

JENNIFER HAWKINS - is yet another hot Aussie model in a bikini, but unlike Lara, Megan, Erin, and Jessica, Jennifer was in Santa Monica yesterday. The fool doesn’t even know she’s fallen right into my trap. Go ahead my sweet, yell all you want, they can’t hear you in Australia.

megan gale is close to perfect

By brendon December 23, 2009 @ 10:46 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Megan Gale & Boyfriend Relaxing On The Beach In Sydne

Aussie model Megan Gale spent yesterday on a beach in Sydney with her comedian boyfriend Andy Lee, star of the wildly popular radio show, ‘Hamish and Andy’.  He’s the one who spends all of his time in these pictures either on his knees as if bowing down to worship her, or diving headfirst toward her vagina. Neither of which seem unreasonable in any way.

(source = flynet online)

Australia kicks ass, part 2

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 3:02 PM

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Apparently you can’t walk 10 feet on an Australian beach without tripping over a blond model with perfect breasts, because yesterday Jessica Hart was walking around mostly naked at Bondi Beach in Sydney. She has one of those big gaps between her teeth, but flaws like that make hot girls more attainable, either because it chips away at their confidence or other guys are turned off. It’s with this is mind that I’ve been spreading the rumor that Megan Fox wets the bed.

(source = pacific coast online)

australia kicks ass

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 10:21 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Lara Bingle Posing For Bikini Photoshoot In Sydney (U

Aussie model Lara Bingle stripped down to a bikini for a photo shoot on Tamarama Beach in Sydney yesterday, and I don’t know who that is but she’s hot and has that sexy as fuck Aussie accent so who cares. Her name is kind of goofy though. She should change it. Tamarama Beach would be a good name if she ever does porn, because it’s fun to say Tamarama but also because lots of foreign porn stars have some reference to where they’re from in their name. Like all the Asian porn stars with some version of Asia or Thai or whatever. Guys don’t have that problem. That’s why I do porn under the name Fillmore Bush. That’s a name that commands respect no matter where you’re from.

(picture source = flynet online)