Bai Ling Is the Party

By Lex September 25, 2015 @ 11:08 AM

Bai Ling Almost Slips Out At Hollywood Film Festival
I’d invite Bai Ling to everything. Film festival, booze cruise, my gay nephew’s fourth coming out party. She’s got to be eighty now. She doesn’t look a day over viable stripper. It’s that rhino tusk they’re all snorting in Macao at the tables. If her tits and ass aren’t out in public she ceases to exist. Why would she want to? I’m giving you four stars on Yelp in a tortured explanation of my personal feelings. If you want five, drop the top and offer free coffee.

Photo Credit: Getty

Happy Chinese New Year

By Lex February 19, 2015 @ 12:52 PM

The guy’s in the truck told me I need to do something for Chinese New Year’s. Here’s Bai Ling’s tits. Eventually Chinese New Years will just be known in the U.S. as New Years. Families in Topeka will be competing to see who has the best looking sheep motifs decorating the front lawn. Common Core killed Santa. We’re all eating noodles in February. Kung Hei Fat Choi.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/WWTDD Archives

Bai Ling Tit Falls Out in Germany

By Lex December 02, 2014 @ 11:54 AM

Bai Ling Bends Over To Expose Breast at Movie Meets Media Event In Germany
Yesterday was International The AIDS Day. I celebrated by pretending that men get The AIDS from vaginas. Today is International Older Chicks In Hollywood Flashing Their Big Ass Nipples Day. I’m celebrating by pretending this is a trend I hope continues.

Photo Credit: Getty

Bai Ling Is a Gamer

By Lex November 25, 2014 @ 11:44 AM

Bai Ling Wears Sequin Bondage Outfit To The Screening Of The Key In Beverly Hills
Bai Ling now just shows up to shit uninvited. Who’s going to question a fifty year old Chinese woman wearing just a party streamer. Movie premieres, car wash openings, execution chamber viewing rooms. There’s Bai Ling showing you her tits still look amazing. I’m pretty sure there are Macau businessmen working high stakes bingo cards with boxes labeled with where Bai Ling might appear next. ISIS beheading video, fuck, there’s Bai Ling. Bingo! I win Guangdong

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Bai Ling Nipples at Crow Plus Twenty

By Lex November 17, 2014 @ 10:24 AM

Bai Ling Nipples Showing At 20th Anniversary Of The Crow
Every cast member who wasn’t killed during the production of the original Crow reassembled at a crappy theater at midnight in L.A. to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the film’s original release. The Crow is s mostly known for Bruce Lee’s son taking a bullet fragment from a gun supposedly filled with blanks and dying during production. Conspiracies about ancient Chinese Kung-Fu mobsters taking him out with the dark arts was far more entertaining than the goth comic movie itself. Bai Ling was in the original. I think she was like fifty then. Which makes seeing her tits at this 20th anniversary screening somewhat impressive. You could do worse than imitating her health regimen. Or her appreciation for the adult Halloween haunted house miming arts.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Bai Ling Seems Sad Again

By Lex August 27, 2014 @ 2:24 PM

Bai Ling Poses For A Bikini Photo Shoot On The Beach In Marina Del Rey
Bai Ling has made a pretty good living looking like she’s forever imagining the Japanese Army’s rape of Nanking. I’d imagine being 47 with the tits of a 20-year old and feeling kind of like turning my frown upside down. Not Bai Ling. I don’t know who these bikini pictures are for, but if you’re into torture porn or really sad Chinese girls, or both, you’re going to want to get the full set.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI