Bai Ling Sideboob At We.TV Event

By Lex November 10, 2015 @ 8:19 AM

Bai Ling Sideboob At We.TV Event
Bai Ling DIY’s props to barely cover her breasts at red carpet events she may or may not be invited to attend. Shit gets done differently in Hong Kong. You don’t wait to see the character of open inviting house. You just show up. Who complains about a chick that keeps in shape and likes to flash her tits? Your girlfriend does.

Photo Credit: Getty

Bai Ling And Maitland Ward Working The Geeks Over

By Lex October 16, 2015 @ 10:34 AM

Bai Ling And Maitland Ward Bikini Top And See Through At The Geekie Awards
The word geek used to mean you were a socially awkward Princess Leia masturbating Radio Shack sales clerk. Now it means you’re a socially awkward Princess Leia masturbating mobile app developer. The income differential has allowed the geeks to advance up the social ladder. They’ve even got their own award show where they invited a bunch of affordable older chicks to come fill their tug vaults for another lean winter.

When the bullies and jocks dominated the social order, they were dicks, but simple and obvious in their feral demands. Now that the bespectacled kids with scoliosis are running the town, retribution is extensive, merciless, and unnerving. Hey, remember how hilarious it was when you knocked my math notebooks on the ground? Congratulations, your FICO score is now 300 and you’re wanted in Virginia for sex crimes. Who’s laughing now, able bodied jokemeister?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Bai Ling Is the Party

By Lex September 25, 2015 @ 11:08 AM

Bai Ling Almost Slips Out At Hollywood Film Festival
I’d invite Bai Ling to everything. Film festival, booze cruise, my gay nephew’s fourth coming out party. She’s got to be eighty now. She doesn’t look a day over viable stripper. It’s that rhino tusk they’re all snorting in Macao at the tables. If her tits and ass aren’t out in public she ceases to exist. Why would she want to? I’m giving you four stars on Yelp in a tortured explanation of my personal feelings. If you want five, drop the top and offer free coffee.

Photo Credit: Getty

Happy Chinese New Year

By Lex February 19, 2015 @ 12:52 PM

The guy’s in the truck told me I need to do something for Chinese New Year’s. Here’s Bai Ling’s tits. Eventually Chinese New Years will just be known in the U.S. as New Years. Families in Topeka will be competing to see who has the best looking sheep motifs decorating the front lawn. Common Core killed Santa. We’re all eating noodles in February. Kung Hei Fat Choi.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/WWTDD Archives

Bai Ling Tit Falls Out in Germany

By Lex December 02, 2014 @ 11:54 AM

Bai Ling Bends Over To Expose Breast at Movie Meets Media Event In Germany
Yesterday was International The AIDS Day. I celebrated by pretending that men get The AIDS from vaginas. Today is International Older Chicks In Hollywood Flashing Their Big Ass Nipples Day. I’m celebrating by pretending this is a trend I hope continues.

Photo Credit: Getty

Bai Ling Is a Gamer

By Lex November 25, 2014 @ 11:44 AM

Bai Ling Wears Sequin Bondage Outfit To The Screening Of The Key In Beverly Hills
Bai Ling now just shows up to shit uninvited. Who’s going to question a fifty year old Chinese woman wearing just a party streamer. Movie premieres, car wash openings, execution chamber viewing rooms. There’s Bai Ling showing you her tits still look amazing. I’m pretty sure there are Macau businessmen working high stakes bingo cards with boxes labeled with where Bai Ling might appear next. ISIS beheading video, fuck, there’s Bai Ling. Bingo! I win Guangdong

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI