By Lex June 02, 2015 @ 9:17 AM
Bar Refaeli was born with her girl parts. Don’t hold that against her. It’s not easy for a natural born to get by these days. They’re boring and lack media spectacle. How many souls will Bar Refeali inspire to consume their days and nights discovering their true self? Masturbation doesn’t count. When the eugenics camps open, the gender boring will be lined up first. You can’t possibly understand what it means to be a champion.
Photo Credit: Laisha Magazine
By Lex May 20, 2014 @ 4:38 PM
Apparently, Bar Refaeli has washed ashore on a deserted island and is setting about to build herself some shelter. Thatcould happen. Don’t think she doesn’t have a zombie attack plan. Or, more realistically, a Hezbollah attack plan where all the hot girls in Israel flee by hydroplane for remote shores where they can reproduce a new generation of more assimilated supermodel looking Jews. It’s a page borrowed from Noah, except, fuck the llamas.
Photo Credit: Elle Spain
By Travis April 01, 2014 @ 11:00 AM
Israel’s Second Authority for Television and Radio decided that the idea of Bar Refaeli having an orgy with a giant purple puppet and two clones of herself, all in the name of selling clothes, is just too much for daytime TV. The ad for the Hoodies summer collection features a puppet named Red Orbach in a variety of suggestive situations with the Israeli model, and because of the fourway, strip poker and hot tub romp, the prudes decided that the commercial can only air after 10 PM. Because if there’s one thing that a country locked in an eternal holy war with its neighbors should do, it’s keep the eyes of the young shielded from vague puppet fucking references.
By Travis February 03, 2014 @ 10:00 AM
While you were serving up lukewarm canned chili and mildly-roofied Bud Light at your own Super Bowl party this weekend, the 11th annual Leather and Laces party in New York City was the perfect event for anyone who wanted to stare at the world’s most attractive women for two nights while not giving an actual shit about football. Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, Bar Refaeli and Brooklyn Decker attended the party at Liberty Theater and probably made the rest of the women feel really inadequate, but then Paris Hilton showed up and the other guests breathed a collective sigh of relief. Hell, they all could have looked like someone threw acid on Rocky Dennis and people would have still been trying to figure out why Paris was standing next to the Victoria’s Secret A-squad.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Lex December 17, 2013 @ 5:26 PM
Bar Refaeli is a real hero. Whatever needs getting done, she does. Get in your underwear and put a cake on your head. She’s there. She’d probably replace the rods at Fukushima in a sexy nightie if you asked her nicely. She’d add an ear-to-ear smile if you paid her properly. Without athletes or politicians for kids to look up to anymore, it’s nice to know we still have lingerie models with sweet jugs for school reports.
Photo Credit: Passionata