Adam Levine Gets Married (Fuck Yeah, Tool) And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 21, 2014 @ 1:14 PM

Adam-Levin-and-Behati-Prinsloo

Adam Levine somehow managed to land himself a Victoria’s Secret model wife. It reminds me of a little piece of advice my grandfather gave me when I asked him why girls didn’t want to date sweet lovable guys like me, “Mijo, chicks are fucking crazy and they love assholes”.

Read all about the fucktard and his Namibian princess bride. (Dlisted)

Lea Michele may be a killer shrew, but she wears a bikini well, damn her. (Drunken Stepfather)

Selena Gomez wears one of your grandma’s doilies and still gives you a hard-on. (Huffington Post)

Casey Kasem’s mummified corpse has gone missing. (The Superficial)

Emily Ratajkowski is practically swimming out of this bikini. (The Chive)

Homunculus ‘roidhead The Rock is going to render unto us Shazam. (io9)

Former Miss Universe Olivia Culpo remains super fucking hot.(TMZ)

Adam Levine’s New Hair Is So Cool

By Travis May 05, 2014 @ 1:00 PM

In one of the celebrity whoring videos that Proactiv passes off as a commercial, Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine talks about how he used to be a total loser geek like the rest of us before he became a huge star. He had really bad acne in high school and that crushed his self-esteem, but then he got his hands on some magic face-cleaning jizz and suddenly he was a huge global music superstar and one of the people on The Voice. Somewhere in between, his heart was also ripped out of his chest by Anne V., so he made up for it by getting engaged to Behati Prinsloo, who he posed with in this otherwise stupid selfie of his new blond hairstyle. The point of this is that we should all make fun of Adam for being a huge douchebag, but he probably doesn’t give two shits what anyone thinks of him anymore. And if he does, he’ll wait until after he’s done finishing on Behati’s chest to let us know about it.

Photo Credits: Adam Levine’s Twitter

Behati Prinsloo Models The T Shirt Bra For 2014 Victoria’s Secret

By Lex April 08, 2014 @ 12:44 PM

Behati Prinsloo Models The T Shirt Bra For 2014 Victoria's Secret

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret

Behati Prinsloo Isn’t Half Bad Looking

By Lex March 27, 2014 @ 3:17 PM

Behati Prinsloo Topless In The April 2014 Issue Of Vogue Spain
I wonder what that precise feeling is when the guy who keeps putting off your wedding’s name pops up on Lindsay Lohan’s ‘Then Guess Who I Fucked After That’ list. If you’re a lingerie model specifically in your marrying a rich guy age range, it probably feels all kinds of vulnerable. You need to nail down that paperwork because starvation diets and six hour makeup sessions to look good in panties has a lifespan about equal to an NFL running back. You’ve got four to six good years, eight max if Jesus blessed you. You turn around and you’re thirty, haven’t booked a gig in over a year and Corey Feldman left you a voicemail inviting to his launch party. Get your shit together, sister. Being the best looking chick in your Namibian collective gives you a brief window in which to work. Adam Levine royalties are forever.

Photo Credit: Vogue Spain

Alessandra Ambrosio And Behati Prinsloo In Bikinis To Celebrate The 2014 Victoria’s Secret Swim Collection

By Lex March 12, 2014 @ 10:12 AM

Alessandra Ambrosio And Behati Prinsloo In Bikinis To Celebrate The 2014 Victoria's Secret Swim Collection

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash

Fighting AIDS Has Never Been Sexier

By Travis February 06, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Whoever is in charge of organizing the guest list for the annual amfAR Gala has the best and easiest job in the world, because the lead-in to Fashion Week guarantees that just about any Victoria’s Secret or Sports Illustrated model that matters will show up. In turn, old rich guys are bound to spend tons of money for the best seats in the house, all in the name of AIDS research, but with the actual intention of sitting so close to the models, they can smell the color of their underwear. Last night’s cattle call of models included Karolina Kurkova, Behati Prinsloo, Karlie Kloss, Alyssa Miller, Erin Heatherton, Lindsay Ellingson, Lily Aldridge and more. Naturally, Michelle Rodriguez also showed up because she probably heard there was an open bar and thought, “One hand for my beer and five fingers for the ladies.”

Photo Credits: C. Smith/WENN.com