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Ben Affleck Jelly Spine And Shit Around The Web

Kevin Smith revealed that his bromance with vagina-chinned Ben Affleck ended because Jennifer Garner thinks Smith is a foul mouthed fat stoner piece of shit. It's unclear if she had problems with parts of that or all of that. More importantly, this is another tale in the fast growing legend that is pussy-whipped Ben Affleck. Read all about the death of nerd friendship. (Moviepilot) Wanna see Jessica Alba in a bikini...read more

Batman's Butt Chin And Shit Around The Web

Zack Snyder revealed another look at Ben Affleck as Batman and it's worse than we could have imagined. Ben Affleck's stupid ass chin sticking out of that cowl feels like my inner child is getting kicked in the nuts. Effeminate controlling ass chin Batman is going to suck. See more of Affleck ruining your childhood.(Dlisted) Nina Agdal all sweaty in a bikini is why I get up in the morning. (Drunken Stepfather) Megan...read more

Batman's Looking Pretty Jacked

Perennial Dad of the Year contender Ben Affleck picked his daughter, Violet, up from school yesterday for a little shopping in Los Angeles, and he was clearly sending a message to the legions of pissed off nerds that don't want him playing Batman in Batman vs. Superman that they can doubt him all they want, but he is pretty fucking jacked now. That probably still won't do much to convince some people, though, so for...read more

The Runner Runner Premiere Was An A-List Affair

Ben Affleck's and Justin Timberlake's new "one for them" movie, Runner Runner, had its premiere at the Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last night, and for at least a few minutes the red carpet was an A-list event. Obviously, Affleck and Timberlake showed up per their obligations, as did Gemma Arterton and Jessica Timberlake, but then the drop-off was pretty steep. Once Meatloaf arrived, it was basically...read more

Childhood Is Officially Dead, Ben Affleck Is Batman

Ben Affleck is going to play Batman in the sequel to Zack Snyder's Man of Steel. Let that sink in. If you need a moment to go into the bathroom and cry and cut yourself, I understand. Snyder announced at Comic-Con this year that in the next Superman movie the Man of Steel would team up with Batman. The question then became who would play Batman now that Christian Bale screamed and emoted that he doesn't want to do it...read more

Ben Affleck: Courageous Politician

Ben Affleck is the latest Hollywood self-important figureconsidering entering politics. Affleck has been very vocal about his political beliefs over the years, using his fame as a soap box to tell the world what he thinks about important shit. But up until now he's just shouted from the comfort of his LA mansion or over sake bombs at Nobu. His wife Jennifer Garner hinted at the possibility that the Just for Men...read more

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Tuesday Afternoon Headlines

JESSICA SIMPSON - is in talks with NBC for a sitcom that "would feature Simpson playing a version of herself in a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style look at her life". And it can't possibly fail because improv is the perfect vehicle for this quick-witted legend of comedy. (tv guide) RUSSELL CROWE - might be dating "burlesque goddess" Dita Von Teese, who has somehow totally escaped her past as a "spread-eagle girl having sex...read more

'Argo' is the best movie of 2012

Rotten Tomatoes has released the list of the best reviewed movies of 2012, and 'Argo' was number 1. Actually 'Argo' was number 26, but the 25 movies in front of it are all documentaries and foreign movies, and that bullshit doesn't count. Critics just say they liked those to trick you into thinking they're smart. I haven't seen any of the documentaries on the list because they're probably depressing. Also, if I wanted...read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are a glamorous couple

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner drove their $100,000 Tesla Model S to get 2 dozen donuts from Krispy Kreme in Santa Monica today, and braved the rain to do it, so I assume they were stoned off their ass. That's the only time 24 donuts from Krispy Kreme sounds like a good idea. Not only that, but on her way out, Garner signed a petition to murder Girl Scouts. You heard it here first: Jennifer Garner is a violent drug...read more

Ben Affleck asked to direct the Justice League movie

DC comics and Warner Bros. have been trying to get a ‘Justice League' movie made for at least a decade, and in 2007 they even had the thing cast, but that all went to hell and now 'The Avengers' has made $1.46 billion for Marvel and Disney. Needless to say they're freaking the fuck out. Christopher Nolan already turned them down, but luckily for them Ben Affleck hasn't, and he's actually a really good director. ...read more

Ben Affleck is patriotic

Just like they do every year, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner brought their daughters to a 4th of July parade yesterday, and I can't believe it but this one was in Pacific Palisades. It totally looks like a Boston parade. Where you'd hear Dropkick Murphys 'The State Of Massachusetts' at least 10 times, and at one point the guy in the Red Sox cap in front of Ben would lean in and say, "I swear to fahkin Gahd B, if that...read more

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are making another movie

For the fist time since 'Good Will Hunting' (no one counts 'Dogma' for some reason) Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are starring in a movie together. Damon will star as Boston mobster Whitely Bulgar, with Affleck co-starring and directing. Though they won't write the script (which of course is what they won their Oscars for in 1997), they have a more than capable replacement in 'Boardwalk Empire' creator and writer Terence...read more

Ben Affleck looks like this now

At first I wondered why Keanu Reeves was pretending to be Anthony Kiedis and taking Ben Afflecks daughters to the farmers market in Pacific Palisades yesterday, but then I eventually figured it out. (image source = flynet)read more

Tuesday headlines, with Gaga on the Simpsons

LADY GAGA - will play herself on 'The Simpsons', "to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob." The message being: if you're feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew) WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT - were reportedly broken up, but this morning Wills son Trey tweeted that it wasn't true, and now they've issued a statement saying, "Although we are reluctant to respond to...read more

Ben Affleck is patriotic (and site news!)

Ben Affleck is from Boston of course, which is probably the most patriotic city we have, so of course he took his kids to the 4th of July parade in Brentwood on Monday. What's surprising is that Jennifer Garner went along with him, because she's from West Virginia, and people from West Virginia are communist sympathizers who hate America more than anything. I also heard they steal. Speaking of Boston, that's where...read more