Ben Affleck And Nanny Disconnect

Ben Affleck is steadily denying he nailed his nanny while she appears to be milking the rumor for all it's worth. Women love attention. Even if it's in the form of dubious claims that you're a home wrecker. People used to take pride in their job. Now they take pride in... read more

Affleck's Nanny Loving It (VIDEO)

Christine Ouzounian, the nanny who is letting everybody think she's been fucking Ben Affleck during his split with his wife, let the world into her inner sanctum with an Instagram photo of herself being photographed by the paparazzi and a song quote, because this is... read more

Ben Affleck Guilty By Association

It's entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she's a hot Armenian chick in her late 20's. If that's who you're hiring as a nanny, given all the... read more

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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to Cohabitate

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing amicably. They intend to remain great friends and even continue to live together to parent their three carefully named children. Which sounds an awful lot like being married, with the exception that all that side fucking is... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Divorcing

It's unclear if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing because he's an alcoholic and gambling addict and his family owned slaves or because he's a crappy husband.  Usually one leads to the other. Few relationships end over a lack of blackjack and cigar smoking. He... read more

PBS Suspends Roots

PBS has suspended production of its third season of Finding Your Roots after an investigation revealed Ben Affleck successfully pressured the show to omit airing the fact that one of his great-great-grand-relatives was a slave owner in the antebellum South. The entire... read more

Ben Affleck Hunky Slave Owner

Turns out Ben Affleck's great-great-great grandfather wasn't just a minor slave owner, he held a couple dozen African-Americans to his name, mostly inherited from his mother-in-law who also gave him her gravy boat and a portrait of a cat. Nobody gives a shit about Ben... read more

More on Ben Affleck Riddled With White Guilt

When Ben Affleck appeared on the PBS snooze fest Finding Your Roots, which traces the guest's genealogy to the nearest Coppola, he successfully lobbied the show's producers to exclude the revelation that one of his distant relatives owned slaves. The information was... read more

Ben Affleck Slave Shamed

Actor and super person Ben Affleck asked PBS to censor their documentary series Finding Your Roots where they revealed Affleck had an ancestor that owned slaves. Finding Your Roots is designed to inform white celebrities that their great-great-great-grand uncle ran a... read more

The Most Boston Thing Ever

No matter what part of the country you're from or which NFL team you support, it's important to acknowledge that people from Boston are especially fucking annoying. The accents are unbecoming as are the stupid shamrock tattoos and being hammered on Seagrams. Most of the... read more

Ben Affleck Defender of All Things Holy

I bet it sucks to be Muslim these days knowing other Muslims are beheading journalists and mowing down women with machine guns in the name of your same Holy One. Especially in the modern digital world where every bit of news is universally available. It was probably... read more

Ben Affleck Jelly Spine And Shit Around The Web

Kevin Smith revealed that his bromance with vagina-chinned Ben Affleck ended because Jennifer Garner thinks Smith is a foul mouthed fat stoner piece of shit. It's unclear if she had problems with parts of that or all of that. More importantly, this is another tale in the... read more