Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to Cohabitate

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing amicably. They intend to remain great friends and even continue to live together to parent their three carefullynamed children. Which sounds an awful lot like being married, with the exception that all that side fucking is no... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Divorcing

It's unclear if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing because he's an alcoholic and gambling addict and his family owned slaves or because he's a crappy husband. Usually one leads to the other. Few relationships endover a lack of blackjack and cigar smoking. He... read more

PBS Suspends Roots

PBS has suspendedproduction of its third season of Finding Your Roots after an investigation revealed Ben Affleck successfully pressured the show to omitairingthe fact that one of his great-great-grand-relativeswas a slave owner in the antebellum South. The entire point... read more

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Ben Affleck Hunky Slave Owner

Turns out Ben Affleck's great-great-great grandfather wasn't just a minor slave owner, he held a couple dozen African-Americans to his name, mostly inherited from his mother-in-law who also gave him her gravy boat and a portrait of a cat. Nobody gives a shit about Ben... read more

More on Ben Affleck Riddled With White Guilt

When Ben Affleck appeared on the PBS snooze fest Finding Your Roots, which traces the guest's genealogy to the nearest Coppola, he successfully lobbied the show's producers to exclude the revelation that one of his distant relatives owned slaves. The information was... read more

Ben Affleck Slave Shamed

Actor and super person Ben Affleck asked PBS to censor their documentary series Finding Your Roots where they revealed Affleck had an ancestor that owned slaves. Finding Your Roots is designed to inform white celebrities that their great-great-great-grand uncle ran a... read more

The Most Boston Thing Ever

No matter what part of the country you're from or which NFL team you support, it's important to acknowledge that people from Boston are especially fucking annoying. The accents are unbecoming as are the stupid shamrock tattoos and beinghammered on Seagrams. Most of the... read more

Ben Affleck Defender of All Things Holy

I bet it sucks to be Muslim these days knowing other Muslims are beheading journalists and mowing down women with machine guns in the name of your same Holy One. Especially in the modern digital world where every bit of news is universally available. It was probably... read more

Ben Affleck Jelly Spine And Shit Around The Web

Kevin Smith revealed that his bromance with vagina-chinned Ben Affleck ended because Jennifer Garner thinks Smith is a foul mouthed fat stoner piece of shit. It's unclear if she had problems with parts of that or all of that. More importantly, this is another tale in the... read more

Batman's Butt Chin And Shit Around The Web

Zack Snyder revealed another look at Ben Affleck as Batman and it's worse than we could have imagined. Ben Affleck's stupid ass chin sticking out of that cowl feels like my inner child is getting kicked in the nuts. Effeminate controlling ass chin Batman is going to... read more

Batman's Looking Pretty Jacked

Perennial Dad of the Year contender Ben Affleck picked his daughter, Violet, up from school yesterday for a little shopping in Los Angeles, and he was clearly sending a message to the legions of pissed off nerds that don't want him playing Batman in Batman vs. Superman... read more

The Runner Runner Premiere Was An A-List Affair

Ben Affleck's and Justin Timberlake's new "one for them" movie, Runner Runner, had its premiere at the Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last night, and for at least a few minutes the red carpet was an A-list event. Obviously, Affleck and Timberlake showed... read more