JENNIFER GARNER IS PREGNANT AGAIN

By brendon July 18, 2008 @ 5:57 AM

What's been rumored for a few weeks has now been made all but official, as sources close to the couple have confirmed that Jennifer Garner and husband Ben Affleck are expecting another baby.  Garner’s former "Alias" co-star Victor Garber told Us magazine…

"Yes, she is," Garber, who currently stars on ABC's Eli Stone, told Us when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting.
A source adds, "She is five months pregnant. They are very happy."
Garner, 36, and Affleck, 35, are parents to two-year-old daughter Violet
"Honestly, that child is so inquisitive and so full of life — it’s all Jennifer and Ben!" Garber gushed to Usmagazine.com in November 2007. "I have to say, he’s an amazing dad and together, she’s a very fortunate little girl to be in that family!"

Wow, kudos to Ben Affleck.  He’s very brave.  I'm sure she's a charming little girl but if I had given birth to that goblin I would have called it quits right there.  A thousand years ago if you gave birth to something that looked like that the church would chop your penis off and burn it.

HEADED FOR DIVORCE?

By brendon June 25, 2008 @ 7:59 AM

Ted Casablanca over on E! says today that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, seemingly one of the more normal Hollywood couples, may be headed for a divorce.  Ted says…

Terribly unfortunate scuttlebutt has come my way. Sources insist to me that Jennifer Garner is considering splitting up from her hubby, Ben Affleck … Could this be the reason Jen and Ben are always seen cooing over adorable daughter Violet separately, rarely as one happy family unit? Perhaps.

He’s right about them rarely being seen together.  I had to go to page 29 on Bauer Griffin on a "Jennifer Garner" search to find them within 10 feet of each other.  I would assume Affleck is the one instigating this.  He's probably losing interest.  He’s got that goblin looking kid and he probably blames her, and although she’s beautiful, Garner doesn’t look like she’d be good in bed.  She looks like she handles a penis like she thinks it has a bunch of sharp edges or something.

HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE SEXY

By brendon June 18, 2007 @ 3:23 PM

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are vacationing in Hawaii this week with their wife and kids, and rest assured, no matter how you look in shorts, you look better than big Hollywood star Ben Affleck.  I'm guessing but I assume the message on his voicemail says, "Hi, I'm Ben Affleck.  I weigh 140 pounds.  Leave a message.  Beep."

ANOTHER BABY FOR AFFLECK AND GARNER?

By brendon June 13, 2007 @ 3:46 PM

CBB is one of many asking if Jennifer Garner might be pregnant for the second time with husband Ben Affleck, because of recent pictures that show Garner looking like it's a distinct possibility.  Which is amazing, because, umm … wow.  Their daughter Violet may grow up to be gorgeous – and it's possible because her mom is super hot – but she's off to a very very very very very bad start.  If that thing came crawling across the floor at me, I'd scream in terror and then drown it.  That's the kind of thing you see in movies right before a guy loads his crossbow and a Mexican woman makes the sign of the cross.

VIOLET AFFLECK MIGHT BE A GOBLIN

By brendon March 19, 2007 @ 1:03 PM

Thank god I'm not friends with Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, because one day they might hand me their baby and say, "Isn't she cute!!!"  And then I'd say "Uh … uh … uh …" and then throw the baby in the air and run away while they try to catch it.  Look at that baby fly!

SOMETIMES IT JUST DOESNT WORK

By brendon February 01, 2007 @ 7:35 AM

Ugly kids are the new black in Hollywood.  They're everywhere, everyone seems to have one these days.  So ironic.  Jennifer Garner is really pretty but it's easy to see how her features could have gone horribly wrong.  And by "easy to see", I mean "here's a picture that perfectly illustrates it".  I'm sure this kid is delightful but she looks like a damn goblin.