Solange Knowles White Breasted Wedding

Solange Knowles finally married the much older music video director she's been dating for several years. The couple threw an intricately planned New Orleans wedding that involved everything from a pantomimed re-creation of the levees breaking during Katrina to 50,000 local school children being bused to the Super Dome to serenade Solange with some of her more famous songs that nobody's ever heard. It's nice to see...read more

Beyonce Is Rich And Shit Around The Web

Beyonce is one wealthy woman. She made over 115 million dollars last year, twice as much as any other female star. Usually money flows from the stupid to the smart in our economy, but given Beyonce's educational aptitude, let's just say it flows from the stupid to the good looking. Explore the mysteries of Beyonce's wealth. (Huffington Post) Fat Mike from NOFX kicks a fan in the face and it's awesome. (TMZ) This model...read more

Beyonce Takes Selfies At the Louvre

Say what you want about the so-called masterpieces, they've got nothing on Beyonce. Fuck yeah you are the most important piece available to be seen at the Louvre. I've been. The Mona Lisa is a tiny framed portrait of a chick who even back in the Renaissance had to be considered a four, a seven maybe after mead. The rest of the works are just naked dudes in oil paintings, or naked dudes in actual oil if you visit the...read more

Beyonce Vacation Photos Heavy on the Beyonce

You've just got to see my vacation photos. There's me in my bikini. Me in my bikini on the beach. Me in my fabulous beachwear. Me kicking sand. There's me being playful in my beachwear but in the cabana so no sand. Take a seat. I've got five more albums. Who wants a vegan lemon drop? Beyonce's Wonder of Me life tour continued with her curated photos of her weekend family vacation somewhere in the nation of France....read more

Beyonce's Fake Thigh Gap And Shit Around The Web

Overexposed harpie Beyonce had her thighs Photoshopped in a bikini. Maybe it's because she's knocked the fuck up or maybe it's just that she wants to pretend she still has thigh gap. Either way, she should fire her photo guy. Check out Bey's web of thigh lies. (TMZ) Leonardo DiCaprio's cock was named the UN peace ambassador (Gawker) American Apparel comes out with see-through underwear. (Drunken Stepfather) Amanda...read more

Beyonce Bikini Photos Shared by Beyonce

If I was a hot bodied woman, I'd lock myself in a bedroom in front of a large mirror and masturbate myself until the fire department kicked down the door and put me in hand restraints. Even then I'd find a way to get my paws onto my tits and shove a seamen's locker worth of objects up my cooch. I don't blame Beyonce for sending out photos of herself in a bikini. It's her version of holding up a high school diploma in...read more

Beyonce A Pregnant Nightmare

Jay Z announced his wife is pregnant again or pretending to be pregnant or they found a surrogate willing to be killed after delivering the baby if her family can be airlifted out of Borneo or some shit. This one might be real because Beyonce is making insane demands of the people she keeps around to tell her she looks great in that face mask and that her last bowel movement smelled like Hidden Valley Ranch. Members...read more

Beyonce and Jay Z Are Going to Make It

According to Matthew Knowles, the Jay Z and Beyonce divorce rumors of the past several months were a complete fiction ginned up to create buzz around their summer concert tour. Knowles says he used to do this shit all the time when he managed Beyonce and Destiny's Child: I know, because we've done this. From experience, there's a tour going on. So you sometimes have to ignite that tour. It's called a Jedi mind trick....read more

Beyonce And Jay Z Are Living A Lie And Shit Around The Web

Beyonce did her best at last night's VMAs to dispel rumors that she and Jay Z both wish they were fucking somebody else at night. They were all snuggly and used their stripper named baby as a prop for their lies. Let it go, B. Read all about Jay Z and Beyonce's brave face. (Dlisted) Selena Gomez forgot her bra and showed the heap of sideboob. (Popoholic) Laura Cremaschi and her ass went to the beach. (Hollywood Tuna)...read more

Blue Ivy's Real Mom Might Take Her Back

According to the website MediaTakeOut, which was once almost right about something in 2012, a woman named Tina Seals carried Blue Ivy in her belly for nine months and is now suing for custody. According to HollywoodLife.com, which takes completely unfounded stories and then hires experts to give quotes to make them seem legitimate, the surrogate mom might actually have some custodial rights even though she...read more

Liv Apologizes to Beyonce for Not Fucking Jay Z (VIDEO)

Jay Z's in a fucking pickle. It's bad when even the chicks you're not boning outside your marriage are performing songs about how you wanted to bone them. Some self-described rapper chick named Liv made a music video in her apartment by the freeway where she plays Outkast's Sorry Ms. Jackson and changes the lyrics to Sorry Mrs. Carter. Then she says a whole bunch of stuff about Jay Z being a cheating pimp, how he...read more

Beyonce Sucks At Rap

Beyonce acknowledged the elevator brawl involving Jay Z and her sister on a horrendous new auto-tuned track. The remix to Flawless features Beyonce boasting about herself to a degree professional wrestlers would find embarrassing. With non ironic peacocking Beyonce proclaims: "And you can say what you want, I'm the shit, what you want I'm the shit, I'm the shit, I'm the shit, I'm the shit." Its weird that an adult...read more

Beyonce And Jay Z Probably Splitting And Shit Around The Web

America's second most annoying couple, Jay Z and Beyonce, are rumored to be splitting up. The reason seems to be that Jay Z likes to stick his dick in other women while Beyonce's independently wealthy and doesn't need that shit. Read all about the trouble in d-bag paradise. (Huffington Post) Apparently there is a Miami bikini fashion week and it's all bikini models (Drunken Stepfather) Taylor Swift wants you to finish...read more

Beyonce, That's Actually Pretty Impressive (VIDEO)

You know I, thug em, fuck em, love em, leave em Cause I don't fucking need em Take em out the hood, keep em looking good But I don't fucking feed em First time they fuss I'm breezing Talking bout, what's the reasons I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch Truer words have never been spoken. Jay Z and Beyonce are working out their marital problems to the tune of half a million a night this summer. Let's get...read more

Jay Z Blings Off Beyonce's Little Sister

I don't care if you're trying to shut up your 50-year younger Latina hooker so you can keep your NBA franchise or your old lady's feisty little sister tried to kick your ass in an elevator, you can never go wrong with a big-ass blood diamond to squelch that nonsense. After Solange Knowles and her Ninja afro tried to take out Jay-Z in an elevator, it was clear that an expensive rapprochement was in order. Jay-Z must've...read more