By Lex July 11, 2013 @ 9:31 AM
I guess that’s how you get big name female celebrities to do photo shoots. You pitch some crazy ass artistic vision. I see your nude form contorted and covered in endless glitter. It represents the duality of success to a female artist, beauty, pain, gold, suffering. Some shit like that. If I had Beyonce alone in the studio I’d probably go Coco from Fame on her and convince her to take her top off for the camera while she cried from the humiliation. I can tell you this, we’d end up with more memorable pictures of Beyonce.
Here’s Beyonce in Flaunt magazine. She’s covered in a more glitter than Tom Cruise at an Everybody Top the Guy with the Most Glitter Party.
Photo Credit: Flaunt Magazine
By Lex May 31, 2013 @ 5:52 PM
I don’t know why people get so worked up over whether or not Beyonce is going to have another baby. But they do. Despite Beyonce denying that she’s pregnant since the last rumor came out, nobody wanted to believe it. So Beyonce went and shot a picture of herself drinking booze, to prove it. She posted it to her personal website where I guess people go. I’m not sure that photo actually proves anything. Personally, I’d like to see a picture of Beyonce punching her surrogate hard in the stomach. Then I’d believe. But I still wouldn’t care.
By Lex May 28, 2013 @ 1:09 PM
I suppose it’s some kind of felonious activity to smack a woman on the ass these days, but there has to be some exceptions. Like Beyonce’s ginormous cans waving with sparkles in your face. Even the lowest form of mammalian life is going to be intrigued by that big shiny bauble. I can’t blame a Danish guy for taking a whack. Yes, it’s true, that there’s a girl just six thousand miles locked away pregnant with Beyonce’s next child, but I feel like the fetus was never in danger.
By Lex May 17, 2013 @ 4:17 PM
Yeah, I guess Beyonce lied about not being pregnant. Or her carefully secreted surrogate being pregnant. Which doesn’t surprise me because Beyonce hates publicity. At least when it’s not about her. When that fetus pushes through her chunnel and Beyonce sees the camera lenses training off her vagina and onto little Baby Stupid Name, she’s going to shit a tooth.
By Lex May 15, 2013 @ 9:30 AM
New York Post rumors are basically one guy in their newsroom making up celebrity shit for some other guy in the newsroom and next thing you know, there it is, anonymous sources stating that Beyonce is probably hiding her second baby from the public. You may recall that Beyonce responded to rumors of her first pregnancy by hiring a girl off Craigslist to ‘make her a pretty baby that don’t cry so much.’ But the baby turned out too pretty. So Beyonce bought a $21,000 crib to chain the baby to so she could go out on the town without having to worry about stupid face Blue Ivy showing up and hogging all the attention. That seems like a lot of work to do all over again.
By Travis May 08, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
Ever since Kim Kardashian spread her way into the A-list social circle of Kanye West and Jay Z, it has been rumored that Beyoncé wants nothing to do with her. The reason, of course, would be that Beyoncé is a very talented pop superstar and Kim made a sex tape with Ray J. But things have probably been a little tougher for Kim now that she’s pregnant, especially when she showed up to Monday night’s Met Gala looking like one-third of the Rose Bowl Parade.
While Kanye was performing at the ball, he actually took a moment to tell Kim how awesome she is in front of all of the celebrities in attendance, and that must have felt nice after she couldn’t fit into her original dress and had to add sleeves to her gown because her arms looked like giant sequoias. So it was also nice of Beyoncé and her sister, Solange Knowles, to take a quick photo with Kim, so she could post it to Twitter and make the other Make-A-Wish children jealous.