By brendon November 29, 2011 @ 8:53 PM
Remember back in August, when Beyonce made headlines by announcing she was pregnant, reportedly 3 months pregnant, and many were suspicious because she didn’t look 3 months pregnant? Well it turns out those people were wrong, and she was 5 months pregnant. AOL says…
Beyonce has revealed (she) is expecting to give birth in December 2011, not February 2012 as previously reported.
(In a new video) Beyonce holds up a copy of the New York Daily News. The paper featured a cover story suggesting Beyonce may have been faking her baby bump.
Mocking the caption, she rubs her belly and says, “Hello, it’s Sept. 23. Right now I’m actually shooting the video for ‘Countdown’ and I’m six months pregnant.”
If Beyonce was the type of person who would lie and cheat just to get herself in the news, I would totally say this new early due date was because she got tired of faking her pregnancy. As it turns out she is absolutely that type of person, so yeah, this is totally because that vain bitch is tired of faking her pregnancy.
(image source of beyonce 10 days ago, apparently 8 months pregnant = splash)
By brendon October 17, 2011 @ 3:17 PM
Perhaps because of the rumors that she’s faking he pregnancy, Beyonce was out in New York today with a partially see-thru shirt. And, um, okay so this didn’t prove shit. She could still have some kind of pad under that shirt. I’m inclined to believe she’s lying because Beyonce has spent her entire carer stealing from other people. Lying comes second nature to her, and to all women really, because women are black hearted monsters.
(image source = inf)
By brendon October 13, 2011 @ 2:59 PM
Because she needs both hands free to dramatically clutch her pretend pregnant stomach on occasion in front of photographers, Beyonce went shopping today in New York with a servant whose only job was to hold her umbrella, but before that she was out with Jay Z and Kanye West and, as the photo agency put it, “showed off her growing baby bump.”
Even though in reality her “bump” looks exactly the same as it did two months ago, if not smaller. Who would have guessed that pretending to be pregnant would be so difficult. Lot of math involved, it would seem.
By brendon October 11, 2011 @ 4:59 PM
In August, Beyonce announced that she was pregnant, and almost immediately people started noticing that her “baby bump” seemed to radically change in size from day to day. The rumor quickly began that she actually was not pregnant at all, but that she and Jay Z had hired a surrogate to have their baby and Beyonce was wearing a prosthetic piece to make it look like she was pregnant for attention. Adding new credibility to this awesome rumor is that her “bump” seemed to fold in half then pop back into shape as she sat down to do an interview on Sunday (gif above).
ABC News asked her publicist about this today and was told the rumor was “ridiculous, stupid and false.” But screw that. It’s more fun to think she’s faking it. And she would too because this way she gets nine months of attention for being pregnant, then 6 months of, “oh my god she got back into shape so fast, she’s amazing.” We both know Beyonce would eat that shit up.
Luckily most actors and singers are practically retarded, and she’s both, making her full-on retarded, so now we just have to sit back and wait for her to put the prosthetic on wrong, then explain why her bump in now on her back.
By brendon September 15, 2011 @ 3:10 PM
Last month Jay Z and Beyonce announced that they were expecting a baby, the first child for each of them, unless you count Jay Z’s other kid that he’s kept stashed away for 9 years as if he were Harry Potter.
Radar says in the most convoluted and poorly written way possible that Jay “has a secret son with a Trinidadian model, according to the father of the man originally identified as the child’s father.” This has reportedly been confirmed by DNA tests.
“…while Beyonce was initially livid about the secret son, she’s stood by her husband. The boy closely resembles Jay, who’s reportedly paying Shenelle child support.”
Wow, a black guy with a child out of wedlock? Well this is the first I’ve heard of anything like this. I hope the rap community doesn’t ostracize him. They don’t really condone this kind of thing.
(image source = getty)
By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 12:57 PM
Media Take Out, which I think of as the black TMZ because I’m racist, says today that things are about to get very ugly and very public between Rihanna and Jay Z, because she’s about to fire his RocNation management firm, then sue them.
She reportedly first considered this back in April because she felt they were favoring Beyonce–who is married to Jay Z–when it came to endorsement deals and song writers, and because she felt they were forcing too many other RocNation clients on to her to get them exposure. She then reconsidered, but the announcement of Beyonces pregnancy has seemingly changed her mind again, and now MTO says…
Her first step in breaking free – Rihanna has launched a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT against her “official” RocNation manager, Jay Brown’s sister.
Rihanna claims that Jay’s sister DEFRAUDED her.
I’m in LA for a few days and I forgot how many God damn billboards they have for movies and TV shows. They’re everywhere. You can’t go 30 seconds without seeing one, which is annoying because every non-Mexican in this town is here to work in movies and TV. We get it, ok. Everyone knows about ‘Drive’ and ‘Whitney‘ and all that other shit so stop already with the endless billboards. What do you want from me, I can only watch one thing at a time, I’m not gonna bring a TV to the movies if that’s what you’re hinting at. And yeah I realize this has nothing to do with Rihanna, but that story was about Jay Z being a criminal. Oohh, gee you don’t say. I haven’t seen all the facts yet but yeah he did it, he’s guilty. I don’t know what he’s guilty of exactly but I’m sure it’s somethin.
(image source = wenn)