By brendon April 25, 2012 @ 12:14 PM
In what can only be explained as some kind of clerical error, People magazine has named Beyonce as the Most Beautiful Woman in the World.
The most beautiful woman.
In the entire world.
Not that there’s anything wrong with her, but there’s nothing right with her either. She’s just sort of someone who’s there. This would be like making some insane proclamation about how great Tuesday is, or pencils. These are just things that exist, and that’s all they are unless you’re some kind of weirdo.
(image source = fame/flynet)
By brendon February 10, 2012 @ 8:20 PM
Having a baby and then auctioning off the first pictures of it to a magazine or tabloid is a tawdry and tasteless thing for celebrities to do. And that’s why people like Jennifer Lopez do it.
Jay Z and Beyonce are clearly above that however, and tonight they posted 5 pictures of their new baby girl Blue Ivy on his website for all to see. For free. And they’re actually pretty god dammed cute, even if she is throwing up a little gang sign in one of them.
By brendon February 07, 2012 @ 6:52 PM
Beyonce was out in NYC last night, making her first public appearance since giving birth to her daughter Blue Ivy last month, and also making it more and more ironic that her name is practically “buoyancy”.
(image source = inf, splash)
By brendon January 12, 2012 @ 4:27 PM
It may not be true that Beyonce and Jay Z spent $1.3 million to rent out the entire floor of her hospital maternity ward, thus giving their baby a warped sense of entitlement from the very beginning, but they did apparently spend $3,500 on a baby crib, or as Mariah Carey would call it, “a cheap piece of shit.”
Beyonce purchased the pricey NurseryWorks VETRO Lucite crib at a NYC boutique in November, a source tells Us Weekly.
(They’re also) building a 2,200 square foot nursery in their downtown New York City apartment, and the baby will reportedly take her baths in a pink Swarovski-crystal studded Baby Diamond Bathtub worth $5,200.
Not only that, but they even upgraded their real baby by replacing it with an Asian one who has already composed her first symphony.
By brendon January 11, 2012 @ 3:11 PM
Some people laughed when Jay Z and Beyonce had their little girl last weekend and named her Blue Ivy, and they were right to laugh because Blue Ivy is a stupid name.
But now, in a story titled, “Why Did Beyonce Name Her Baby Blue Ivy?”, Us.com says the answer might surprise you. The answer would also surprise Us.com as it turns out because they don’t know what it is.
Jay-Z (fans) have long known that blue holds a special place in his heart. “My favorite hue is Jay-Z blue,” he rapped in the song “Go Crazy”.
There were even unrealized plans to feature the unique shade on a line of SUVs.
And, Jay-Z has released three beloved Blueprint albums in 2001, 2002 and 2009.
That middle name “Ivy,” reportedly references the Roman numeral (“IV”) for 4 … Beyonce’s birthday is Sept. 4, Jay-Z’s is Dec. 4, they were married on April 4, 2008, and the singer’s latest album is entitled 4.
So, a favorite color and a record name? Seriously? Well good because he also likes the color black, and she was in ‘Destinys Child’, so if they have a son and name him Black Child that would be great. That way I could look at him and say it out loud instead of it just being the subtext in my head.
By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 1:03 PM
Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children’s books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn’t actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It’ll be just like having the real Oprah right there in the room!