wow beyonce really sucks

I have no idea what “board feed” is, but Howard Stern somehow got the raw board feed of Beyonce live on the Today show, performing that song she stole from that hot blond chick (this one), and it’s hard to even imagine anyone has ever been worse at anything than Beyonce is at singing. Which is amazing because imaging things is very easy. Like, imagine you were a knight with a sword fighting a dragon on the moon. It...read more

beyonce had a little slip

Beyonce apparently slipped out of the top of her dress last night during the Academy Awards big musical dance number (close up here), but I didn’t notice at first because who cares. It's just Beyonce. It seems she could have worn pasties or tape or something, so maybe this "accident" was no accident. I think the same way when I go out. I use my sexuality as a weapon. Mainly after seeing that number last night I was...read more

MY WHAT A FLATTERING OUTFIT

Beyonce said "put up your dukes" to my penis this morning by wearing a skintight bodysuit that highlighted her big fast ass and concave chest. This is how you can tell she's too famous. If a normal girl looked like that she would spend the morning locked in the bathroom crying and taking laxatives, but Beyonce seems to think she’s looks good. For the record, she's wildly mistaken.(picture source = splash)read more

BEYONCE IS AN IDIOT

When we first met Beyonce lo these many years, she was pretty and charming and seemed genuinely likable. It was a love affair that would seemingly go on forever. In reality, it’s going to end, right now, as you read this next sentence.The R&B singer has christened herself “Sasha Fierce” for her new double album, “I Am ... Sasha Fierce,” due in stores on Nov. 18, and has released a lengthy justification for the...read more

BEYONCE IS STILL STEALING MATERIAL

It's been reported many many times in the past that Beyonce and her team of mangers are creatively challenged, so they often resort to stealing material and ideas from others who came before them or from new singers and songwriters who have no power to stop them. Oh hey have you heard her new song, "If I Were A Boy"? Fox News says...The story behind "If I Were a Boy" is absolutely scandalous … the young woman who...read more

STAND BACK EVERYONE, PLEASE MOVE BACK

Beyonce went walking around Miami today with a big glittery diamond on her finger and surrounded by five huge bodyguards, but I'm not sure it was enough. She's still so understated. How will people know she's important if she keeps playing it cool like this. Maybe she could hold a magazine up over her face. A magazine that has a close-up picture of her face and “BEYONCE” in big letters. Oh, and her feet should have...read more

STUFF FROM ALL OVER

CHRIS ROCK IS NERVOUS – TMZ says that Chris Rock was a nervous wreck today while testifying in the Anthony Pellicano wiretapping case.A freaked-out Rock took the stand for roughly 15 minutes to talk about a most uncomfortable subject -- DNA and baby mamas. As we already reported, Rock's attorney hired the P.I. to the stars to investigate Monica Zsibrita, who had claimed she and Rock had hooked up, and that he was the...read more

JAY Z AND BUOYANCY ARE GETTING MARRIED

I don’t know why the "Buoyancy" nickname for Beyonce never caught on. Get it? Because she has a big ass. And would seemingly float in water because of it. Aw screw you people. The New York Daily News says today that, after five years of dating, Beyonce and Jay Z may be getting married. The two applied for a marriage license yesterday in Westchester County’s Scarsdale Village.The pair reportedly got the license...read more

4 IN A LINE, MOTHA FUCKA!

Thanks to Ali and her sexy English accent, here are pictures of Kanye West backstage at a show playing Connect Four with Beyonce. In a related story, 50 Cent did a line of coke then shot a guy and then fucked a teen model in the ass. Oh, wait, I guess the two stories aren’t that similar after all.read more

BEYONCE IS COUNTRY NOW OR SOMETHING

Beyonce joined up with the country band "Sugarland" (editors note - sugarwho?) last night at the AMA's, and it was every bit as awkward and horrible as you might imagine. Honestly, there's not a single part of that first sentence that made it sound like this would work. After their performance, Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles told the Associated Press, "We were face to face, and there were a couple times when (Beyonce)...read more

BEYONCE EATS IT

Beyonce was on stage last night in Orlando, and my god, I’'ve never seen such agility. She's like a gazelle. A gazelle with annoying songs and a big giant ass.read more

BEYONCE IS CREATIVE

Beyonce has been ripped in the past for stealing her act and music and image from a wide range of other performers, and last night it sure as hell looks like she did it again. She opened the BET Awards show by appearing on stage in a metal exoskeleton lookin thingy that opens up piece by piece. Which, if you think about it, is somewhat similar to when Kylie Minogue opened her shows by appearing on stage in a metal...read more

BEYONCES GOT THE HEP. MAYBE.

The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health issued a warning yesterday to everyone who attended the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue party on Valentine's Day that they may have been exposed to acute hepatitis A after it was revealed that an employee of Wolfgang Puck Catering was recently diagnosed with the disease. The health department is warning everyone who attended the party to get an immune globulin shot...read more

BEYONCE IN SPORTS ILLUSTRATED?

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WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE

MediaTakeOut has posted what is reportedly an email from a woman claiming that she has witnessed Jay Z being physically abusive to his girlfriend Beyonce. The email is from a woman claming to be Beyonces assistant and she says she has seen first hand Jay push and shove Beyonce. The email says:I wanted to bring this to MediaTakeOut.com because I know how you all like to put stuff out no matter what it is. So I felt that...read more