By Lex July 23, 2013 @ 9:40 AM
Someday, all people will come to know the true power of Beyonce. How she can sing a note that cures cancer. Her perfectly round feces are a superfood. And no matter what woman Jay-Z slips into after his show, Beyonce becomes with child. You don’t need to explain the powers of Bey to this fellow who was touched by the divine presence in concert. He went down with the Holy Ghost. The two of them on the ground front row at the Mrs. Carter tour. Pretty sweet tickets.
By Lex July 22, 2013 @ 1:21 PM
Tons of celebrities got into the Trayvon Martin protests this past week. How can you not be outraged after hearing about the case from your make-up assistant? But none really managed to jump on the right side of history while looking like a million bucks like Beyonce. Ever since seeing herself in her own documentary and realizing she was black, Beyonce has really felt in touch with her roots. She and Jay-Z hit up the Trayvon Martin vigil with Al Sharpton in New York before heading out for bottle service at the Boom Boom Room. Trayvon’s going to be dead whether you party or not, so what’s the point in frowning.
Photo Credit: INF, WENN
By Travis July 22, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Jay Z and Beyoncé spent Saturday in New York City protesting the verdict in the George Zimmerman case with Trayvon Martin’s mom and, of course, the Reverend Al Sharpton, whose radar for TV cameras and celebrity photo opportunities is sharper than ever. Jay Z and Beyoncé have apparently been very focused on the aftermath of the trial, as Mrs. Carter dedicated a song to the deceased teenager last weekend and Jay and Justin Timberlake did the same at their show at Yankee Stadium on Friday night.
And someone in the crowd probably still booed and shouted, “Go Red Sox!”
By Lex July 11, 2013 @ 9:31 AM
I guess that’s how you get big name female celebrities to do photo shoots. You pitch some crazy ass artistic vision. I see your nude form contorted and covered in endless glitter. It represents the duality of success to a female artist, beauty, pain, gold, suffering. Some shit like that. If I had Beyonce alone in the studio I’d probably go Coco from Fame on her and convince her to take her top off for the camera while she cried from the humiliation. I can tell you this, we’d end up with more memorable pictures of Beyonce.
Here’s Beyonce in Flaunt magazine. She’s covered in a more glitter than Tom Cruise at an Everybody Top the Guy with the Most Glitter Party.
Photo Credit: Flaunt Magazine
By Lex May 31, 2013 @ 5:52 PM
I don’t know why people get so worked up over whether or not Beyonce is going to have another baby. But they do. Despite Beyonce denying that she’s pregnant since the last rumor came out, nobody wanted to believe it. So Beyonce went and shot a picture of herself drinking booze, to prove it. She posted it to her personal website where I guess people go. I’m not sure that photo actually proves anything. Personally, I’d like to see a picture of Beyonce punching her surrogate hard in the stomach. Then I’d believe. But I still wouldn’t care.
By Lex May 28, 2013 @ 1:09 PM
I suppose it’s some kind of felonious activity to smack a woman on the ass these days, but there has to be some exceptions. Like Beyonce’s ginormous cans waving with sparkles in your face. Even the lowest form of mammalian life is going to be intrigued by that big shiny bauble. I can’t blame a Danish guy for taking a whack. Yes, it’s true, that there’s a girl just six thousand miles locked away pregnant with Beyonce’s next child, but I feel like the fetus was never in danger.