Oprah gives terrible baby presents

Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children's books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn't actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It'll be... read more

Beyonce had a little girl, named her Blue Ivy

Beyonce didn't look like she was 2 days away from giving birth when these pictures were taken Thursday (ahem) but apparently she was, because she and Jay Z had a baby girl Saturday night that they named Blue Ivy. Which is no dumber than any other celebrity name as long... read more

Beyonces totally-not-fake baby due in weeks

Remember back in August, when Beyonce made headlines by announcing she was pregnant, reportedly 3 months pregnant, and many were suspicious because she didn't look 3 months pregnant? Well it turns out those people were wrong, and she was 5 months pregnant. AOL says...... read more

A-Ha!

Perhaps because of the rumors that she's faking he pregnancy, Beyonce was out in New York today with a partially see-thru shirt. And, um, okay so this didn't prove shit. She could still have some kind of pad under that shirt. I'm inclined to believe she's lying because... read more

Beyonce is fancy, totally pregnant

Because she needs both hands free to dramatically clutch her pretend pregnant stomach on occasion in front of photographers, Beyonce went shopping today in New York with a servant whose only job was to hold her umbrella, but before that she was out with Jay Z and Kanye... read more

is Beyonce pregnant or not?

In August, Beyonce announced that she was pregnant, and almost immediately people started noticing that her "baby bump" seemed to radically change in size from day to day. The rumor quickly began that she actually was not pregnant at all, but that she and Jay Z had hired... read more

Jay Z has a secret child

Last month Jay Z and Beyonce announced that they were expecting a baby, the first child for each of them, unless you count Jay Z's other kid that he's kept stashed away for 9 years as if he were Harry Potter. Radar says in the most convoluted and poorly written way... read more

Rihanna just fired Jay Z

Media Take Out, which I think of as the black TMZ because I'm racist, says today that things are about to get very ugly and very public between Rihanna and Jay Z, because she's about to fire his RocNation management firm, then sue them. She reportedly first considered... read more

Beyonce is pregnant

If you forced me to make up something more boring than the MTV Video Music Awards, it would still sound a lot like the MTV Video Music Awards. It would be like, "a 4 hour TV show... filled with pretentious assholes flaunting their money… and getting awards for something... read more

Monday morning headlines

LEANN RIMES AND EDDIE CIBRIAN - got married this weekend in a surprise ceremony at a private home in California. This will make their inevitable cheating that much more exciting. (people) BEYONCE AND JAY Z - were reportedly set to perform at the royal wedding between... read more

Beyonce is in a bikini :(

Beyonce and Jay Z are on some massive yacht in Monaco Bay today, and for the most part Beyonce stayed pinned down as if somebody was shootin at her. Which was annoying until she got up, perhaps to see if the timer on her cookies had gone off. "Ohh yeahh," I said to... read more

ohai beyonce and beyonces breast

Do these pictures show: A. a yeti on vacation. B. a visualization of that "roll a fat girl in flour" sex joke C. Beyonce and her nipple in Hawaii. This wasn't some kind of quiz by the way. I genuinely don't know wtf is going on in these pictures. But I'm scared/erect,... read more