Beyonce is a perfect circle now

By brendon February 07, 2012 @ 6:52 PM

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Beyonce was out in NYC last night, making her first public appearance since giving birth to her daughter Blue Ivy last month, and also making it more and more ironic that her name is practically “buoyancy”.

(image source = inf, splash)

Beyonce spent $3,500 on a baby crib

By brendon January 12, 2012 @ 4:27 PM

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It may not be true that Beyonce and Jay Z spent $1.3 million to rent out the entire floor of her hospital maternity ward, thus giving their baby a warped sense of entitlement from the very beginning, but they did apparently spend $3,500 on a baby crib, or as Mariah Carey would call it, “a cheap piece of shit.”

Beyonce purchased the pricey NurseryWorks VETRO Lucite crib at a NYC boutique in November, a source tells Us Weekly.
(They’re also) building a 2,200 square foot nursery in their downtown New York City apartment, and the baby will reportedly take her baths in a pink Swarovski-crystal studded Baby Diamond Bathtub worth $5,200.

Not only that, but they even upgraded their real baby by replacing it with an Asian one who has already composed her first symphony.

Why did Beyonce and Jay Z pick the name Blue Ivy

By brendon January 11, 2012 @ 3:11 PM

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Some people laughed when Jay Z and Beyonce had their little girl last weekend and named her Blue Ivy, and they were right to laugh because Blue Ivy is a stupid name.

But now, in a story titled, “Why Did Beyonce Name Her Baby Blue Ivy?”, Us.com says the answer might surprise you. The answer would also surprise Us.com as it turns out because they don’t know what it is.

Jay-Z (fans) have long known that blue holds a special place in his heart. “My favorite hue is Jay-Z blue,” he rapped in the song “Go Crazy”.
There were even unrealized plans to feature the unique shade on a line of SUVs.
And, Jay-Z has released three beloved Blueprint albums in 2001, 2002 and 2009.
That middle name “Ivy,” reportedly references the Roman numeral (“IV”) for 4 … Beyonce’s birthday is Sept. 4, Jay-Z’s is Dec. 4, they were married on April 4, 2008, and the singer’s latest album is entitled 4.

So, a favorite color and a record name? Seriously? Well good because he also likes the color black, and she was in ‘Destinys Child’, so if they have a son and name him Black Child that would be great. That way I could look at him and say it out loud instead of it just being the subtext in my head.

Oprah gives terrible baby presents

By brendon January 10, 2012 @ 1:03 PM

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Oprah Winfrey has sent a gift to Beyonce and Jay Z for their new baby girl; a trunk full of children’s books. In other words, a giant ugly black thing filled with simple messages from someone who isn’t actually good at anything but wants lots of money anyway. It’ll be just like having the real Oprah right there in the room!

Beyonce had a little girl, named her Blue Ivy

By brendon January 09, 2012 @ 9:12 AM

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Beyonce didn’t look like she was 2 days away from giving birth when these pictures were taken Thursday (ahem) but apparently she was, because she and Jay Z had a baby girl Saturday night that they named Blue Ivy. Which is no dumber than any other celebrity name as long as she doesn’t ever date a guy named Ivy.

(source = inf and e!)

Beyonces totally-not-fake baby due in weeks

By brendon November 29, 2011 @ 8:53 PM

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Remember back in August, when Beyonce made headlines by announcing she was pregnant, reportedly 3 months pregnant, and many were suspicious because she didn’t look 3 months pregnant? Well it turns out those people were wrong, and she was 5 months pregnant. AOL says…

Beyonce has revealed (she) is expecting to give birth in December 2011, not February 2012 as previously reported.
(In a new video) Beyonce holds up a copy of the New York Daily News. The paper featured a cover story suggesting Beyonce may have been faking her baby bump.
Mocking the caption, she rubs her belly and says, “Hello, it’s Sept. 23. Right now I’m actually shooting the video for ‘Countdown’ and I’m six months pregnant.”

If Beyonce was the type of person who would lie and cheat just to get herself in the news, I would totally say this new early due date was because she got tired of faking her pregnancy. As it turns out she is absolutely that type of person, so yeah, this is totally because that vain bitch is tired of faking her pregnancy.

(image source of beyonce 10 days ago, apparently 8 months pregnant = splash)