Jay Z has a secret child

By brendon September 15, 2011 @ 3:10 PM

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Last month Jay Z and Beyonce announced that they were expecting a baby, the first child for each of them, unless you count Jay Z’s other kid that he’s kept stashed away for 9 years as if he were Harry Potter.

Radar says in the most convoluted and poorly written way possible that Jay “has a secret son with a Trinidadian model, according to the father of the man originally identified as the child’s father.” This has reportedly been confirmed by DNA tests.

“…while Beyonce was initially livid about the secret son, she’s stood by her husband. The boy closely resembles Jay, who’s reportedly paying Shenelle child support.”

Wow, a black guy with a child out of wedlock? Well this is the first I’ve heard of anything like this. I hope the rap community doesn’t ostracize him. They don’t really condone this kind of thing.

(image source = getty)

Rihanna just fired Jay Z

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 12:57 PM

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Media Take Out, which I think of as the black TMZ because I’m racist, says today that things are about to get very ugly and very public between Rihanna and Jay Z, because she’s about to fire his RocNation management firm, then sue them.

She reportedly first considered this back in April because she felt they were favoring Beyonce–who is married to Jay Z–when it came to endorsement deals and song writers, and because she felt they were forcing too many other RocNation clients on to her to get them exposure. She then reconsidered, but the announcement of Beyonces pregnancy has seemingly changed her mind again, and now MTO says…

Her first step in breaking free – Rihanna has launched a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT against her “official” RocNation manager, Jay Brown’s sister.
Rihanna claims that Jay’s sister DEFRAUDED her.

I’m in LA for a few days and I forgot how many God damn billboards they have for movies and TV shows. They’re everywhere. You can’t go 30 seconds without seeing one, which is annoying because every non-Mexican in this town is here to work in movies and TV. We get it, ok. Everyone knows about ‘Drive’ and ‘Whitney‘ and all that other shit so stop already with the endless billboards. What do you want from me, I can only watch one thing at a time, I’m not gonna bring a TV to the movies if that’s what you’re hinting at. And yeah I realize this has nothing to do with Rihanna, but that story was about Jay Z being a criminal. Oohh, gee you don’t say. I haven’t seen all the facts yet but yeah he did it, he’s guilty. I don’t know what he’s guilty of exactly but I’m sure it’s somethin.

(image source = wenn)

Beyonce is pregnant

By brendon August 29, 2011 @ 10:14 AM

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If you forced me to make up something more boring than the MTV Video Music Awards, it would still sound a lot like the MTV Video Music Awards. It would be like, “a 4 hour TV show… filled with pretentious assholes flaunting their money… and getting awards for something no one ever saw.”

So at least Beyonce took last nights VMAs to announce that she’s 3 months pregnant. Her husband Jay Z is presumably the father. So at least there was something sort of resembling news. Granted that’s only when compared to the most assine awards show possible. The VMAs are basically the Blockbuster Awards, except without enough dignity to simply go away.

(image source = getty)

Monday morning headlines

By brendon April 25, 2011 @ 5:39 AM

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LEANN RIMES AND EDDIE CIBRIAN – got married this weekend in a surprise ceremony at a private home in California. This will make their inevitable cheating that much more exciting. (people)

BEYONCE AND JAY Z – were reportedly set to perform at the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton on Friday, but now it seems that’s not the case. William was probably just saying that so people would come. (et)

LADY GAGA – was in Nashville for a concert when one of her fans went into cardiac arrest and had to have her heart restarted after it stopped for 5 minutes. I’m assuming her heart didn’t have a beat because Gaga stole it. (cnn)

RIO – won the weekend for the third week in a row ($26.6M), beating out Madea’s Big Happy Family ($25.7M), Water For Elephants ($17.5M), and Hop ($12.4M). Easter is always a good time for family films. If you wanted a story about a blood soaked zombie with nails in his hands you needed to go to church. (deadline)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD – was at Wet Republic in Vegas this weekend, and she wore this denim jacket and dress over her bikini. Was she doing that to hide bruises on her knees and back and shoulders? Sorry, but a gentleman never tells. (wenn)

Beyonce is in a bikini :(

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 1:49 PM

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Beyonce and Jay Z are on some massive yacht in Monaco Bay today, and for the most part Beyonce stayed pinned down as if somebody was shootin at her. Which was annoying until she got up, perhaps to see if the timer on her cookies had gone off. “Ohh yeahh,” I said to myself at that point. “Her body is disgusting, I forgot.”

You know you have a giant ass when your bikini comes with a big thick waistband to reinforce the seams. It’s the kind of thing they put on straight jackets. Her idea of sexy talk is probably to tell Jay, “I want you to take me. To town. So I can get a pizza.”

(image source = splash news online)

ohai beyonce and beyonces breast

By brendon April 27, 2010 @ 1:53 PM

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Do these pictures show:

A. a yeti on vacation.
B. a visualization of that “roll a fat girl in flour” sex joke
C. Beyonce and her nipple in Hawaii.

This wasn’t some kind of quiz by the way. I genuinely don’t know wtf is going on in these pictures. But I’m scared/erect, and I’d love to know why.

(source = splash news online)