Kim Kardashian is already freaking out Beyonce

By brendon July 10, 2012 @ 4:37 PM

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Kim Kardashian is still desperate to parlay her relationship with Kanye West into a friendship with Beyonce and Jay Z, so she reportedly spent $5,000 on a gold bracelet with pink and white diamonds for their daughter Blue Ivy, and then engraved it with a very presumptuous, “Love Auntie Kim.”

Guess how that went over.

“They have been friends for five minutes, but already Kim is try­ing to force herself into Beyonce’s life,” a source told The Enquirer.
“Despite Kim’s sex tape and bad marriages, Beyonce had been warming to her based on her charming demeanor and romance with Kanye, who’s a good friend.
“But she certainly doesn’t consider Kim family in any way, shape or form – and for her to suggest that close­ness really put Beyonce off.”

Ok fine that’s The Enquirer, so who knows, but it does sorta fit with a report in the new issue of Life & Style that says Kim is “not allowed to talk about” Beyonce or Jay-Z in public.

“She’d be kicked out of the clique so quickly if she made any misstep,” the insider explained. “Kim has to earn everyone’s trust.”

Wait. Does Kim Kardashian have any friends? Now that I think about it, in 10 years I don’t think I’ve ever seen her with anyone but Paris Hilton, Reggie Bush, and Kris Humprhies. Who all hate her now. Other than that she’s always with her family. That’s the same way rats and dingoes live, by the way. Hint hint, Kanye.

Beyonce wore this “sexy” see-thru dress

By brendon May 08, 2012 @ 2:30 PM

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Beyonce wore this see-thru dress to the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s annual ball in New York last night, though it was actually just a normal black dress until she put it on and then her ass stretched the material too thin.

(image source of beyonce at the met gala bala last night in new york = getty)

People magazine has to be joking

By brendon April 25, 2012 @ 12:14 PM

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In what can only be explained as some kind of clerical error, People magazine has named Beyonce as the Most Beautiful Woman in the World.

Beyonce.

Knowles.

The most beautiful woman.

In the entire world.

Not that there’s anything wrong with her, but there’s nothing right with her either. She’s just sort of someone who’s there. This would be like making some insane proclamation about how great Tuesday is, or pencils. These are just things that exist, and that’s all they are unless you’re some kind of weirdo.

(image source = fame/flynet)

it’s Beyonce and her new baby

By brendon February 10, 2012 @ 8:20 PM

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Having a baby and then auctioning off the first pictures of it to a magazine or tabloid is a tawdry and tasteless thing for celebrities to do. And that’s why people like Jennifer Lopez do it.

Jay Z and Beyonce are clearly above that however, and tonight they posted 5 pictures of their new baby girl Blue Ivy on his website for all to see. For free. And they’re actually pretty god dammed cute, even if she is throwing up a little gang sign in one of them.

Beyonce is a perfect circle now

By brendon February 07, 2012 @ 6:52 PM

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Beyonce was out in NYC last night, making her first public appearance since giving birth to her daughter Blue Ivy last month, and also making it more and more ironic that her name is practically “buoyancy”.

(image source = inf, splash)

Beyonce spent $3,500 on a baby crib

By brendon January 12, 2012 @ 4:27 PM

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It may not be true that Beyonce and Jay Z spent $1.3 million to rent out the entire floor of her hospital maternity ward, thus giving their baby a warped sense of entitlement from the very beginning, but they did apparently spend $3,500 on a baby crib, or as Mariah Carey would call it, “a cheap piece of shit.”

Beyonce purchased the pricey NurseryWorks VETRO Lucite crib at a NYC boutique in November, a source tells Us Weekly.
(They’re also) building a 2,200 square foot nursery in their downtown New York City apartment, and the baby will reportedly take her baths in a pink Swarovski-crystal studded Baby Diamond Bathtub worth $5,200.

Not only that, but they even upgraded their real baby by replacing it with an Asian one who has already composed her first symphony.