Naya Rivera Prefers the Short Leash

By Jack April 11, 2014 @ 12:50 PM

Glee star and spicy empanada Naya Rivera seems to be the reason she and Big Sean broke up. The fairy tale romance ended this week when Big Sean’s publicist released a statement saying he kicked her fine ass to the curb. Rumor has it that the reason was because she is a crazy controlling succubus with hypnotically empowered new titties. Apparently, Naya demanded to know where Sean was at all times, was constantly texting and calling him, and was pathologically jealous of any woman he worked with. She would threaten to ruin his career if he didn’t oblige her insecurities She also Tweeted an accusation saying that Big Sean had stolen her Rolexes. Why would a rich dude steal a tiny woman’s Rolex? To use it as a $5000 cock ring that tells time? It just goes to show you that women be crazy at all socio-economic levels. Thanks to the feminist movement, you can now find girls who will cut your dick off in your sleep working anywhere from graveyard shift at the donut shop all the way up to corporate CEOs. If I were Big Sean I’d beef up my security. A dick is the kind of thing you want to keep around until at least fifty.