11.14.2008 NEW WATCHMEN TRAILER

The second Watchman trailer, due to premiere today in front of "Quantum of Solace", hit teh net last night, and I think we’re close enough now for me to admit this thing gives me a hard on. I could never make it through the book, but being online so much has atrophied my brain down to a nub so I don’t think that should count against them. If a normal brain looks like an owl with glasses and a graduation cap and a stick to point at things on the board, mine is that monkey who pee’d in his own mouth.

I feel compelled to cram in my gushing love letter to Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach. It's Kelly Leak. Kelly Leak god dammit! How can you not love a guy who survives this awful fucking town. Huge star in his teens, then didn’t have a single role from 1993 to 2006. For 13 years he drove limos, finished furniture, and delivered pizzas, now he is to Watchmen what Wolverine is to X-Men. Am I the only one who finds that amazing? People come to LA and say, "I'll give it 6 months and see how it goes". 13 years! The dude failed for 13 god damn years, yet still killed it when someone finally gave him a chance. His Hollywood comeback couldn’t be any more dramatic unless he did riding a 10-story robot that looks like a tiger.

(Songy Trivia! Music over the second half = "Take A Bow", by Muse)

Tags: billy crudup, jackie earle haley, malin akerman |

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01.11.2007 CLAIRE DANES F’S GAY GUYS

The Daily News says that the reason Claire Danes broke up with Billy Crudup (oh by the way, Claire Danes broke up with Billy Crudup. Oh by the way, Clair Danes was dating Billy Crudup) is because Claire slept with British actor Hugh Dancy while they were working on a film together, in fact they "shared a bed with the door two feet ajar, and everybody listening." This was a month before she broke up with Crudup. Dancy, by the way, is gay. Really really gay. The News says:

But horny Hugh didn't limit his attention to the ladies. "The cast was pretty much drunk every night," says the snitch. "Hugh also made out with [screenwriter] Michael Cunningham in the lobby." Plus, he was seen snogging the gay hotel manager, who lost his job.

The good news is you were sexy enough to seduce someone who normally is only into boys. The bad news is he might have thought you were a boy. It's a mixed blessing. Of course just because someone shows interest in you doesn’t mean they’re switching sides. I'm often told that staring into my eyes is like staring into a deep dark blue ocean of intrigue. I don't think it means those dudes are gay, but they're sexual creatures and they appreciate a handsome man.