By Lex April 22, 2015 @ 10:16 AM
I can’t imagine the wave of emotion that sweeps over a 26-year old stripper when her baby daddy decides he prefers to statutory rape bang a 17-year old Kardashian. Despair mixed with gin and a tonic of regret for thinking basic literacy was for losers. Blac Chyna has decided to attack Kylie Jenner where it counts, on social media, with grade school slams on her hyper inflated lips and lack of grown up after-sex gifts.
I don’t know the exact rules of whore fights, but I’m pretty sure the last girl to get gonorrhea wins. Kylie may have the mind of a child who dined on too many lead paint chips, but she got the Tyga. She’s owns the Skank Throne until such time as another usurps her seat. Blac Chyna has her black men’s magazine ass modeling gigs and her burgeoning eyelash extension business. That ought to be enough. Let Kylie have a bastard rapper baby. If recessive genes could speak, they’d thank you.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Matt March 27, 2015 @ 6:33 AM
Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna are in a feud because they fucked the same rapper but really who gives a shit. I don’t know what Blac Chyna does or how she differs from any other stripper. It’s possible I banged her once while on mushrooms,. I’d like to concentrate on her hindquarters. The term fat ass can seemingly be used to describe a chick with a plump little ass yet could also be applied to Rosie O’Donnell. It can be a term of endearment or an insult. When someone calls you a cocksucker at their bachelor party and gives you a noogie it’s good feelings all around. Not so in traffic. Blac Chyna does have a fat ass in the sense that it appears it could be more slim. I’m confused why she’s taking it as a point of pride. It appears a certain segment of the population is fetishizing obesity or at the very least likes people who are disproportionate like that dude whose biceps blew up. It’s cool to make fun of the Germans and their scat porn and how the Japanese are Japanese but you shouldn’t throw stones in a glass house. When you turn heads at the airport it’s not always a good thing. Why are there holes in your face?
By Lex January 19, 2015 @ 9:03 AM
If chicks like Amber Rose and Blac Chyna didn’t exist, we’d have to invent them. Every pack has the gnu in the rear who’s about to be lion lunch. Nobody cares how well you did in high school, gnu, you’re done. If these ladies weren’t getting banged and knocked up by rappers, maybe your sisters and daughters would be. Don’t hate the sperm catchers. These ladies are keeping the shit from getting to shore. Quit blue-lighting their tits and yelling ‘aha!’. They deserve a medal.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews/INF
By Lex October 09, 2014 @ 8:40 AM
If anyone knows how to tightrope walk around a statutory rape prosecution, it’s Kris Jenner. You don’t rise to pimp head of a multimillion dollar teen prostitution ring without picking up a little streetwise jurisprudence. Kylie Jenner is just seventeen and according to the state of California, she’s still an illiterate minor. That means whatever the hell her rapper boyfriend slash Kim’s best girlfriend’s baby daddy is doing with her after sushi dates is technically a sex crime. Not as bad as Stephen Collins flashing his pecker to grade schoolers or guys at the office peeking at Jennifer Lawrence hacked naked selfies, but a crime just the same. When you limit your potential sex partners to reasonably successful black rappers, there has to be some concession to age differences and depth of criminal backgrounds. STDs may slowly burn away, but a Kardashian girl never forgets her first publicity fuck.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex March 06, 2014 @ 8:33 PM
It’s hard to imagine what Kim Kardashian finds in common with a former stripper who’s got a bastard baby with a rapper, big fake tits, and butt implants. But Blac Chyna has been named Kim Kardashian’s official bestie, inheriting all the rank and responsibility that comes with the title. Mostly you just have to punch Kim in the uterus after sex with wealthy foreign industrialists so she is never filmed visiting an abortion clinic. Also, you have to carry the wart cream and binge eating money in your clutch. The two gentle flowers spent the afternoon in a private workout session with just a trainer and the barely noticeable six-man reality show film crew. If it doesn’t happen on camera for Kim, it doesn’t really happen. This includes meals, sex, marriages, divorces, paid dates, and whatever comes out of her ass after consuming nothing but diet powder and artificially sweetened chocolate fudge soda.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com, AKM-GSI
By Lex January 06, 2014 @ 1:13 PM
I don’t know why the Internet world of stranglers and Lego collectors is so up in arms over Kim Kardashian ‘warping’ photos of herself and her stripper BFF, Blac Chyna to look leaner and meaner and less riddled with scabes. They both do have big tits and enormous asses that appeal to circus workers with vague backgrounds and men looking to get raped on child support for the next eighteen years. Yeah, you might notice the warped door in the backdrop. Big shocker. Everything is Photoshopped. The curtain of social media has been pulled back. Even that candid shit on Instagram and Twitter has been faked by a woman who may not even exist in real life. She could just be a lidless vagina fashioned in the ethereal manner of Sauron. Grow up, kids. There is no Santa Clause, but if there was, and he was nailing Kim Kardashian for real, she’d be a lot fatter.
(Thanks to Alexis for sending us this faked ass tip.)
Photo credit: 2 Skeeves Instagram accounts