Shit You Don’t Want to Hear After Getting a Giant Tattoo of Your Boyfriend’s Name on Your Hand

By Lex October 28, 2015 @ 6:48 AM


The rapper known as Future just woke up from a dream where he fucked a baby into Russell Wilson’s girlfriend because somebody had to to discover Blac Chyna who he took to the Sizzler once and fucked over the back of his car got his name tattooed in big letters on her crazy paw. That’s a lot to process. When asked about Blac Chyna and the forever branding on her hand, Future responded, “I’m single and just doing what makes me happy.” Crazy girlfriend rockets, engage.

Chicks like Blac Chyna can’t be given standard mental health evaluations. It’s like asking the oompa loompas to write an objective review of the factory on Glassdoor. Her entire existence is mental illness. She lives in an imaginary world where you post pictures of your engorged ass on social media and some dude cums in your ear and leaves you a bag of groceries and money for skin lightening. You can commit her now or wait until she’s killed a guy who knows a guy who might know where her boyfriend is who won’t answer her texts within ten minutes. Up to you. That guy she kills is probably entourage so entirely expendable.

Photo credit: Instagram

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna in Disguise

By Lex September 15, 2015 @ 9:01 AM

Amber Rose Big Cleavage In Long Brunette Wig
Amber Rose and Blac Chyna were hard to make out in their disguises over the weekend in Hollywood. Amber Rose went as a desperate weight gaining attention whore while Blac Chyna opted for the same look but with a different colored wig. Paparazzi trailed the two around town because they had nothing better to do and they also like tits in their face. Amber’s gearing up for her Slut Walk in October when she will lead up to eleven women high on meth and Sunny D along one of the abandoned streets of downtown Los Angeles in Spandex and push up bras demanding not to be raped by the still slumbering Skid Row homeless. A couple bipolar vagrants might lean up from their cardboard boxes long enough to stroke one out. That’s a win. This is just the first year of the event.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna Take Back Horrible Words at MTV VMAs

By Lex August 30, 2015 @ 8:07 PM


Amber Rose and Blac Chyna made a bold statement on the red carpet of the MTV VMA’s wearing dresses covered brightly in all the bad words people call women. More specifically, the bad words people call these two women. The slogans were in lieu of providing a reason besides making illegitimate rapper babies that Rose and Chyna were part of MTV’s cynical salute to the world’s most commercially successful shitty music. A couple trannies who may have been ripping the girls’ moves followed suit with outfits covered in just the word ‘faggot’ proving that misogynists are far more verbally creative than homophobes.

The striking wardrobe was used to help promote the Amber Rose Slut Walk on October 3 in Los Angeles. No, I don’t just make this shit up. The Slut Walk is a thing that started in Toronto in 2011 when a bunch of feminists heard that some mountie told a rape prevention seminar that women make themselves targets if they dress like sluts. Imagine the furor. Now every October a block full of women dressed as slutty as possible march down whatever they call streets in Canada. Lanes maybe. If Slut Walk sounds at all enticing, you’re imagining the wrong women. Amber Rose took the Slut Walk and slapped her name in front of it for an L.A. gathering of women looking to empower themselves through the role model shoes of Amber Rose. Stilettos filled with the cum of several wanted men.

I’m not sure how much you’d need to drink before any of this made sense, but probably just enough to get you raped.

 Photo credit: Getty Images

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna Hawking Glasses

By Lex August 28, 2015 @ 9:40 AM

Amber Rose Promotes Eyewear With Blac Chyna
Amber Rose and Blac Chyna are two women who know a thing or two about being knocked up by rappers just passing through. Also stylish eyewear and disfiguring artificial anatomical enhancements. Combined, it’s a powerful force in marketing that might sell up to eleven pairs of glasses. This is what happens when you tell your ad agency you can’t afford Nicki Minaj.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Blac Chyna and Amber Rose Have Each Other

By Lex June 29, 2015 @ 9:54 AM

The list of chicks who’ve lost their upstanding black men to the Kardashian family is expanding. Occasionally these wandering whores confab and rub their big fake titties up against one another and lament the draw for rappers of Kardashian steamy junk holes. Everybody handles grief in their own manner. There’s no shame in settling. You think a dentist is going to tell you, bitch, your big old ass just don’t do it for me anymore? Nay. Ask for the N20 and keep your eyes on your Yeezy booties. DDS wives don’t live fast, but they do make it to forty. A Cadillac is just a Jewish Ferrari. What do you mean I can’t wear this top in synagogue?

Photo credit: Getty Images/Instagram

Blac Chyna Oiled Up

By Lex June 09, 2015 @ 10:33 AM

Blac Chyna Oiled Up Thong Clad Booty
Each time the Kardashians host an event involving Tyga, his baby mama Blac Chyna lathers up her ass and posts ‘daddy come home’ pictures. In terms of crazy bitches be crazy behavior, it’s not off the charts. Show the old man what he’s missing by ditching you and fucking a seventeen year with stripper tits and a complete lack of humility. A jacked up greasy ass isn’t the sales hook it once was. Think about holding up a GED or perhaps a proof of life of your joint child nobody’s seen in six months. Inspire your man to come home. Google ‘murder suicide’ on somebody else’s computer if you want to preserve your legacy.

Photo Credit: Instagram