Bob Costas Is Too Short to Be Captured

By Lex June 10, 2015 @ 12:57 PM


Bob Costas is the first nationally broadcast sports commentator with the baby sac to question the validity of the Arthur Ashe Courage award for Caitlyn Jenner to be presented at the ESPY awards in July. Naturally, he couched it with a whole bunch of platitudes about the intense courage of Caitlyn Jenner. He wants to live. But the diminutive sports journalist pondered whether or not a courage in sports award might be better for suited for somebody who plays sports.

It strikes me that awarding the Arthur Ashe award to Caitlyn Jenner is just a crass exploitation play. It’s a tabloid play. In the broad world of sports, I’m pretty sure they could have found—and this is not anything against Caitlyn Jenner—I’m pretty sure they could have found someone who was much closer to actively involved in sports, who would have been deserving of what that award represents.

What the fuck, Costas. Do you feel the same way about the Medal of Honor being presented to Caitlyn Jenner for extreme valor in combatting stereotypes of rich white dudes in Malibu wanting tits? Anybody can throw themselves on a grenade to spare their platoon. Ten hours of feminizing reconstructive surgery to look good in culottes takes real guts. If only Arthur Ashe were still alive to make some wicked tranny jokes, this could all be over sooner.

Photo credit: Getty Images

Bob Costas Collapses Under Weight of Eye Puss

By Lex February 11, 2014 @ 4:08 PM

Even hardened Russian mafia members were cringing in their furry Western boots at the sight of the ooze and puss and lachrymal matter dripping from the blood-orange eyes of Bob Costas in his TV nest in Sochi. It’s been like watching a whore’s vagina expel regret after a particularly eventful Vegas convention weekend. Nobody knows how Costas got his pink-eye, everybody just wants it to go far the fuck away. You can’t just put on a pair of spectacles and expect the world not to notice Kilauea is flinging eyeball magma. NBC announced this morning that Costas was being sent to quarantine in Irkutsk and Matt Lauer and his trying-hard-not-to-look-gay mustache would be taking over. Then NBC reminded everybody that it’s February and crappy made up winter sports are all you got, so shut the fuck up.

the Jerry Sandusky interview (full video)

By brendon November 15, 2011 @ 7:01 AM

As if he wasn’t smug enough already, Bob Costas somehow got a phone interview with Jerry Sandusky that aired last night on NBCs ‘Rock Center’, and despite being a pompous jackass he actually did a really good job. Especially at getting Sandusky to creep everyone the fuck out (full transcript under the cut).

After Sandusky opened by saying that he is innocent of the charges against him, Costas said, “Innocent?”, and Sandusky immediately caved (he’s gonna be fantastic on the stand) and said…

“Well, I could say that, you know, I have done some of those things. I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs, without intent of sexual contact. But, um… uh … So, if you look at it that way … uh … there are things that … that … uh … wouldn’t … uh, you know, would be accurate.”

Later Costas asked him if he was sexually attracted to young boys, and Sandusky takes nearly 20 seconds to say “no”.

Costas: Are you a pedophile?
Sandusky: No.
Costas: Are you sexually attracted to young boys? To underage boys?
Sandusky: Am I sexually attracted to underage boys?
Costas: Yes.
Sandusky: Sexually attracted? You know, I enjoy young people. I love to be around them. I … but, no, I am not sexually attracted to young boys.

Sandusky also explained what happened when Mike McQueary allegedly witnessed him raping a boy in the shower.

“OK, we were showering and … and horsing around. And he (the boy) actually turned all the showers on and was actually sliding across the floor and um and we were, as I recall, possibly, like, snapping a towel and horseplay.”

I’m no attorney but it can’t be a good sign when even your side of the story, the version of events that is supposed to get you out of trouble, has you sliding around and playing games in a shower with a naked young boy.

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