the top 100 stories of 2009 (11-50)

50. MADONNAS ARMS - As she approaches the end of her life, it's good to know she'll die as she lived; by creeping me the fuck out. (July 27th) 49. CALL OF DUTY 2 - made 310 million dollars in it's first 24 hours. "The Dark Knight holds every Hollywood speed record, and it took them 10 days to reach 300. So I guess in hindsight that movie was a real piece of shit." (November 12) 48. MEGAN FOX IS BISEXUAL - If Megan...

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the top 100 stories of 2009 (51-100)

All the dumb websites and magazines and TV shows do lists at the end of the year, counting down and ranking everything you can imagine, and they're all subjective and poorly thought out and painful to read. But nothing else is going on this time of year, and so here we go. 100. JASMINE FIORE WAS MURDERED - by her husband, who was a contestant on the VH1 show 'Megan Wants a Millionaire'. He pulled out her teeth, cut...read more

tara reid in playboy

This is apparently the only website in America that Playboy reads other than their own, because I get yelled at every time I post their pictures even though this is the internet and anyone can find anything at anytime. Here's a video of Spock singing about Hobbits. Neither of those things even fukcing exist, and yet that's a video of them together, so you can sure as hell find pictures from the most famous magazine in...

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elin nordegren is filing for divorce

Just yesterday, Star magazine went to press with a story claiming Tiger Woods has been trying to nail Jessica Simpson for months (a report Jess denied this morning on her twitter) and earlier today Us magazine reported that he is still texting Rachel Uchitel and trying to hook up. With that in mind, it shouldn't be a surprise that both ABC News and Radar are breaking stories that Elin Nordegren has set her divorce in...

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katy perry is in the holiday spirit

I never noticed it until she put up a picture of herself topless in a Santa hat, but now "I was on Katy Perrys twitter" just sounds like a euphemism for fucking her. (source = twitter)

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naked lindsay is now on video

The photo shoot that Lindsay Lohan did for Muse magazine, the one that showed her tits a few times (this one), now has a slightly NSFW video. Though it's not clear why. It just looks like an ad for something. Abstinence, to be specific. But if you've been searching for a video that shows the spread of disease set to dreamy music, your quest has come to an end, my friend.

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lindsay is a good model

Ever heard of Muse magazine? Yeah me neither. But Lindsay Lohan was more than happy to take off her clothes for them and pose in these dumb pictures. Gosh Muse magazine, thank you so much! (NSFW NOTE - she's straight up topless in some of these.) [gallery id="9229"]

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sofia vergara is mysterious, awesome

Sofia Vergara of the ABC show ‘Modern Family' was poolside this morning in Miami, and even though you can kind of see her amazing tits in these pictures, this moment is still bittersweet. Her body is amazing. And she used to wear dresses like this. And bikinis like this. And do patronizing modeling like this because perverts I mean fancy gentleman like myself get turned on by the Latin maid thing. But then she dated...

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holy crap

Once a month or so Katy Perry will remember that she's a hot skinny girl with huge tits, and the Grammy Nominations Concert in LA last night was definitely one of those times. The blond Pam Anderson thing is kind of boring, but Asian girls, Jayme Langford, Katy. These bitches are awesome. It would be like fucking Wonder Woman. She made a bunch of stupid faces on stage of course, but with some practice I could probably...

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joanna krupa has some free time now

I don't care about 'Dancing With the Stars' of course (in fact if you and I met and I asked what you were doing later and you said, "I'm watching Dancing With the Stars" I would just stare at you blankly while I waited for my brain to calculate how much was wrong with you and then advise me how to proceed) but there's one thing I very much do care about, and that's pointless nudity on the internet. People magazine, is...

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shannan click knows how to model

Shannan Click is a Victorias Secret model, and while I very much appreciate her taking her clothes off, the only Victorias Secret models I truly want to see naked are Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller. This chick is too flat chested. It makes her look 13. Which means it would be like 2 years before she and I could even do it, so what's the point in getting all worked up. (nsfw pics under the 'read more')read more

lindsay lohan is a hard worker who deserves respect

The highlight of todays audio clip on Radar is when Dina Lohan admits to Michael Lohan that their daughters lifestyle is going to kill her sooner than later ("time is running outwith this kid. I know, I'm her mother and I feel it and I'm scared."). Luckily it seems the message may finally be getting through. I'm joking of course. When asked about her father releasing these tapes to pressure her into drug rehab,...

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shauna sand has still got it

Former, and by "former" I mean "thirteen years ago", Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand wore one of her fancy outfits last night as she drove her daughter to have dinner with her dad, Shaunas ex husband Lorenzo Lamas. Her daughter is handling this better than I am, but she's been conditioned to it. I get an occasional (and merciful) break. If my nipples looked like I'd been branded, I would fight someone to the grave if...

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kelly brook is here to help

This is relevant to nothing but because Rihanna has the self-defense skills of a fucking toddler who just came out of the dryer, my sexxxy website got all serious and depressing. Luckily Kelly Brook, being wise and all-knowing, preemptively posed for pictures in her bra and panties. Catholics should drop the shit about sunrises and your babies smile and just show pictures of her tits as proof of God. (go to the tyler...

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nicole kidman: "I’ve explored strange sexual fetish stuff..."

It's nice to see that the foppish dandies who run GQ over in England are just as snooty and dim witted as the ones over here in the Colonies. Nicole Kidman usually gives boring interviews because she's a dullard, but in this one she actually hinted at something interesting. "Well that's enough of that," the GQ reporter thought to himself. "A big star and her sex fetishes? Boooor-ing!" The Daily Mail says... But in one...

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