Playboy model Jenna Bentley is in Hawaii today, and yesterday her skimpy little bikini was vastly over-matched by her awesomely huge breasts. And so of course one of her tits slipped out. How could it not? To contain tits like that you’d need a bikini made of those big canvas straps with the ratchets like they use to pick up cars.
Tess Taylor is the star of the E! reality show ‘Pretty Wild’. She’s also at the heart of that whole “bling ring” who robbed Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. She’s also the Playboy Cyber Girl of the Year. She’s also incredibly hot, short, and she has DD’s. As you may recall, those are my 3 favorite qualities in a girl, so needless to say I love her very very much.
These candid and very rare pictures of her getting high are under the cut, along with a few of her Playboy pics, and you really should click on every single one. I promise it will be worth it. In fact, one day, as you lay on your deathbed and think back to the time when you saw Tess Taylor naked, it’s entirely possible that you’ll remember this as the greatest day of your life.
(playboy picture source, with way way more of tess = playboy.com)
JESSE JAMES - is a jackass who has no one to blame for his problems but himself. Unfortunately he admits that. Which makes it hard to attack him. After the divorce news broke, he said, “Sandy is the love of my life, but considering the pain and devastation I have caused her, it would be selfish to not let her go.” Ah, yes, but … what about … aw fuck you dude. Seriously, what the hell am I supposed to say after that. (people)
HEIDI MONTAG – may be hooked on painkillers as a result of all her plastic surgery. Her friends say, “she’s a shell of her former self”. Meaning what? She’s even more boring and vapid than she used to be? That seems hard to believe. (us.com)
JOY RIDDLE - reads Tyler. And she’s a model in this maxim hometown hottie contest. Tyler has more individual readers a month than maxim magazine and twice as many page views as maxim.com, so I resent that people would use me to get to them. But then Joy did this, and my erection rocketed through my shorts and punched the bottom of my desk. After rolling around on the ground for a few minutes while grabbing my crotch and howling in pain, I forgot what I had been upset about earlier, and devoted all my efforts to seeing underneath her stupid fun-ruining left hand. (facebook)
Julia Roberts is a mean old bitch and she looks like something that you would discover living in a mountain cave that the villagers claim is haunted. Oh, but if you work for People magazine, and your job depends on big celebrity interviews and the frumpy housewives who read them, a good idea would be to pretend that a frumpy housewife is really sexy and attractive. And so that’s what they did.
Julia Roberts, who began her career as “Pretty Woman,” is now the most beautiful person in the world, according to People magazine’s Most Beautiful Person issue released on Wednesday.
This is the fourth time the 42-year-old timeless beauty has headed People’s list and the twelfth time she’s been named one of the world’s 100 Most Beautiful people.
Oh yeah she’s terrific. That screencap up top must be some random bad picture I manipulated. And not her in ‘Oceans 12′, a one hundred million dollar movie with an army of hair and makeup and lighting experts whose job is to make her look as good as she possibly can.
The pictures below are Taiwanese model Maureen Chen. Up until today I thought she was the best looking girl on earth. Or at least better looking than Julia Roberts. But I guess not. I guess I was mistaken. I was quite the fool for assuming the gorgeous Asian girl with huge breasts would be more appealing than the mean old goblin with a bunch of bastard kids running around. Now that I think about it that is way sexier.
Do these pictures show:
A. a yeti on vacation.
B. a visualization of that “roll a fat girl in flour” sex joke
C. Beyonce and her nipple in Hawaii.
This wasn’t some kind of quiz by the way. I genuinely don’t know wtf is going on in these pictures. But I’m scared/erect, and I’d love to know why.
(source = splash news online)
Kim Kardashian wasn’t the only set of luscious titties in the news this weekend, because Jwoww of ‘Jersey Shore’ did some laundry and went to the beach. Oh I know. My heart was in my throat, on account of all the excitement. She’s oddly sexy. Mostly because I assume she’s a complete slut who says yes to every request. And she has huge jugs. I wouldn’t mind inserting my penis into her vagina, if you catch my drift. And then thrusting it back and forth (wink, wink).
(image source = splash news online)