Christina Aguilera was sad about her divorce :(

By brendon December 02, 2010 @ 2:49 PM

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(NOTE – like most stories, this one is hotter if you imagine it’s about UK model Rhian Sugden and her giant naked breasts. pictures under the cut.)

Christina Aguilera tells People magazine that she was something feelings something something divorce oh my god I’m already bored.

“When you’re unhappy in your marriage, your children are the ones who suffer. That’s the last thing I wanted … Things were so unhealthy and unhappy for both Jordan and me, I knew I had to end it. I really didn’t want to hurt Jordan, and I felt torn about splitting our family up.”

If you didn’t wanna hurt Jordan you shouldn’t have doubled in size, fatty.

Since filing for divorce, Aguilera has been out in Los Angeles and New York City with a new man, Matthew Rutler, a set assistant on Burlesque.
“He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight,” she says.

In other words, he’s the kind of person who’s trying to get laid and in order for that to happen, first he has to sit there and listen to all your stupid stories. Women are great, they’re awesome at a lot of things, talking on the phone is not one of them. I’d rather call a fax machine and stay on the phone with that all night than Christina Aguilera.

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Gisele Bundchen is not shy

By brendon November 30, 2010 @ 6:44 PM

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Gisele Bundchen is on St. Barts today shooting for Victorias Secret, and at one point, for some reason, she climbed into a van and took her clothes off. It was like an A list, extra fancy version of a BangBus porn.

(source = fame images)

how do people not know who Shay Maria is

By brendon November 22, 2010 @ 3:24 PM

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Last week the Windows phone girl jumped out of anonymity and into our hearts when someone on twitter told me her name is Christina Cuenca. And after that I got lots of email about other anonymous hot girls, but more than anything else I got this picture. Followed by, “A History of Pictures I’ve Jacked Off To” by The Person Who Wrote You This Email.

Um, I don’t know if there’s been some kind of misunderstanding, but you totally don’t need to tell me those things.

Anyway, it’s Shay Maria. She’s a dancer and a model, in that order. You can follow her on twitter or tumblr.

Normally she yells at me when I post her bikini pictures (because they were just test shots and not meant to be released) but this time she said it was ok. She said, “Well I’m going for a more mature sexy look, not the, ‘hey look at my big titties stuff.” “Ahh yes, I see”, I replied while trying not to get caught looking at her tits.

Friday headlines

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 2:59 PM

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BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES – has reportedly exceeded studio expectations in a huge way, and now it finally has a full trailer. Here is a cap of what I guess is the monster or alien or whatever. But you know what the real monster is, my friends? Prejudice. (apple)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is so serious about drug rehab that she’s refusing to take painkillers after having teeth removed this week, according to a “source”. As has been stated before, the “source” is always her mom because Lindsay has no friends, and her mom lies with every breath. Lindsay did go to a dentist Tuesday but not to have teeth removed. It was a follow up to when she had wisdom teeth removed in June. Did they grow back? If so that means Lindsay is a crocodile. Granted, that would explain the leathery skin. (radar)

UK MAGAZINES – like Nuts love celebrity tits, and so do I, and so here’s 200 of them. Me and this magazine are like soul mates. We should get married.

Miley Cyrus showed off her ‘just breathe’ tattoo again

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 11:17 AM

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Last December, just a few days after turning 17, Miley Cyrus got a tat under her teen breast that says, “whites only”. No not really. It says, “just breathe”. It’s reportedly a tribute to a friend with cystic fibrosis and who must stare at her tits a lot.

Point being, Sunday she wore an open-back dress to the MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid, and of course you could see the tat again. They’re quite permanent, you know.

Jessica Alba has naked cell phone pictures

By brendon November 05, 2010 @ 9:11 AM

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It’s no secret that Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have had a few rough patches in their marriage, and as everyone knows she had a little girl last year. But now I’m posting pictures of Jessica while pregnant, showing off her naked boobs and ass. Why am I doing this? How did I get these? Does it mean I’m the father of Jessicas baby? Well look, I’m not gonna say I am, I’m not gonna say I’m not, but I mean, hey, think about it. The pictures speak for themselves.

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