Wesley Snipes is facing 16 years in jail because he hasn't filed taxes in 6 years and hired a firm with a history of false returns to fraudulently claim the IRS owed him 12 million dollars. When asked for a comment, Snipes asked if you were gonna finish the rest of that sandwich. You said you were, and he said oh, okay.
Vince Vaughn is suing two British Newspapers because they claimed he was cheating on Jennifer Aniston after he was photographed kissing a mystery blond. So see, people always laugh at me because I don't have any friends or a girlfriend or know any girls or have ever talked to a girl. Who's laughing now!
Tracking numbers predict that "Santa Claus 3" will make more money at the box office than the Borat movie when the two open head-to-head on November 3rd, even though Borat has gotten a huge amount of publicity in the past few months and has a devoted following. So why will "Santa Claus 3" make more money? Because kids are fucking retarded.
Borat was turned away from the gates of the White House yesterday when he tried to invite President Bush to a screening of his movie, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", or what I like to call "B.C.L.O.A.F.M.B.G.N.O.K." for short. The fictional TV reporter from Kazakhstan played by British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen timed the invite to coincide with an official state visit by Kazakhstan President Nursultan Nazarbayev. Along with "Mighty Warlord Premier Bush", O.J. Simpson, "Mel Gibsons" and other "American dignitaries" were also invited to the movie premiere. News.com says:
Shortly after Nazarbayev dedicated a statue in front of the Kazakh embassy, Borat denounced an official Kazakh publicity campaign running in US magazines as "disgusting fabrications" orchestrated by neighbouring Uzbekistan. "If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming that we do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for baking bagels, or export over 300 tonnes of human pubis per year, then we will be left with no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults," Borat said. Cohen's Borat comedy routine has drawn legal threats from the Kazakh government, which keeps a tight lid on criticism in its news media.
Geez. The Kazakhstan people seem a lot cooler when I think they're like Borat. But then again I pretty much picture them riding a Pegasus and living on a diet of rocks and scorpions. And also me becoming their king because I can harness fire, which is mostly just me holding a lighter above my head as they bow before me.
President Bush will host talks with the Kazakhstan government because it is upset with the portrayal of their country by Borat, a character created by comedian Sacha Baron Cohen. Kazakhstan officials are said to be angry that they are depicted as goofy and bumbling. Considering that Cohen isn’t American, this probably wont help. The Daily Mail says:
And now a movie of Borat's adventures in the US has caused a diplomatic incident. The opening scene, which shows Borat lustily kissing his sister goodbye and setting off for America in a car pulled by a horse, had audiences in stitches when it was first shown last week. But the film…has prompted a swift reaction from the Kazakhstan government, which is launching a PR blitz in the States. Kazakhstan president Nursultan Nazarbayev is to fly to the US to meet President Bush in the coming weeks and on the agenda will be his country's image.
A Kazakhstan government press rep said:
"The Government has expressed its displeasure about Borat's representation of our country. Our opinion of the character has not changed. The bottom line is we want people to know that he does not represent the true people of Kazakhstan."
Wait, Kazakhstan is real? Well then these people are making a huge mistake. Borat makes it look awesome, like you could go there with a microwave and rock guitar and take over. And my dancing will wake up the whole town. These government people are probably just gonna tell me about the plentiful alpacas and declining dragon attacks, and that’s not really the improvement they seem to think.
