JENNIFER ANISTON LOSES AGAIN

By brendon October 20, 2006 @ 12:19 PM

Many are wondering if this may finally be the year Martin Scorsese wins an Academy Award for directing "the Departed", the best reviewed movie of the year so far and a genuine box office hit to boot.  If it does win Best Picture, one of the producers to claim a statue would be Brad Pitt, as his company Plan B productions produced the film.  Pitts former partner at Plan B would not win an award.  That would be Jennifer Aniston, who owned half of the production company when "the Departed" was made but lost all rights in the divorce settlement.  Aniston got the mansion in Malibu, Pitt got Plan B.  Fox 411 says:

Jennifer Aniston's name has been erased from the list of producers since she and Brad Pitt split. It was their company, Plan B, that was originally involved, along with producer Brad Grey before he left to run Paramount.  The result is that Grey and Pitt's names stayed on, even though they did nothing to make the movie, and Aniston's was dumped.  "Brad controlled the credits," a source says, which explains a few other things.

This would maybe seem cruel, except I don't like Jennifer Aniston and don't really care.   And it would be fun to see her cry some more on Oprah if she didn't get an Academy Award.  God knows this was her only chance.  I asked my tivo to record "Rumor Has It", and instead it ran away in the middle of the night.



EVERYONE HATES RUSSELL CROWE

By brendon October 11, 2006 @ 11:42 AM

The always great Radar Online has their Hollywood poll up now, the end result of black-op undercover work to get the true feelings of "more than 50 top power players: studio execs, high-level agents from every major firm, and dozens of A-list producers, directors, managers, screenwriters, and publicists. These are people who have run studios, released blockbusters, won Oscars."  So, you know, powerful people.  The kind of people who commission snuff films.  Some of the highlights from the poll:

The Nightmare Actor : Russell Crowe won big here.  One producer  said, "Some incident can occur and he won’t show up on set for the next week—and you're screwed."  A studio head said, "Russell is an unhappy guy.  His process is difficult. You have to talk him through everything, and he always has an opinion. He thinks he's smarter than everybody else."  Crowe beat out Lindsay Lohan and Jim Carrey, who one source described as "depressed and weird."

The Most Sought After Actor : Brad Pitt and Will Smith top the list, with Pitt described as "charming, talented, handsome, and has international appeal."  Will Smith is in demand for his ability to make a hit from almost anything.  One source said, "I mean, you couldn't get a movie much worse than 'I, Robot', and it did giant business."

The Biggest Hack Director : Brett Ratner.   Second place wasn't even mentioned here, the "X-Men 3" director won and it wasn't even close.  His success "reflects more on his ability to kiss ass than any actual talent."

The Blogger With Million Dollar Abs And A Twinkle In His Eye : well, technically, Radar didn't address this hot button issue, clearly afraid of the swooning that would be sure to follow if they mentioned me with any ladies in the room.

see the whole list here. (I can't remember who but someone made the point about X3 that, in the first XMen, Magneto couldn't escape from a plastic prison with metal about 30 yards away.  in Ratners X3, Magneto could pick up the golden gate bridge.  hey continuity – fuck you.)



GOD DAMMIT

By brendon October 10, 2006 @ 10:10 AM

USA Today has the first look at Angelina Jolie playing Mariane Pearl, the widow of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal reporter who was beheaded by islamic terrorists in Pakistan in 2002.  Bf Brad Pitt is a producer on the project (Pitt was also a producer on "the Departed", by the way) based on the book written by Mariane, who was pregnant with the couples first child when Daniel was murdered.  None of which I care about in the least, since I'm still kinda pissed they fugged up Jolie.  Nothing I've read so far explains why this movie can't still be sexy.  Couldn't it be the same story with Jolie in a half shirt and boy shorts.  That's how you sell tickets, baby!

MADDOX JOLIE IS SPOILED

By brendon October 03, 2006 @ 5:02 PM

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are trying to arrange private soccer lessons for their adopted five-year-old son Maddox with David Beckham.   Maddox is said to have “shown promise“ after attending the David Beckham Soccer Academy in L.A.   The Sun UK says:

Now Brad, 42, wants the ex-England captain, 31, to give his adopted son extra training.  A source said:  “Brad has asked if there is any chance of David giving a one-on-one tutorial.”  It is another master step by Becks and wife Victoria, 32, as they make more inroads into the Hollywood society.  They are pals with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and are rumoured to want to move to LA when David retires.

Is it really a good idea for the kid to have so many awesome experiences while he’s five.  Is there anywhere to go from here but down.  By the time he’s 16 he’s going be lighting hitchhikers on fire just to see if he can still feel.  Ironically, this is the kind of dude who ends up in fight clubs.  Good thinkin Brad.



BRAD PITT IN “MISSION : IMPOSSIBLE 4″?

By brendon September 19, 2006 @ 6:39 PM

Less than a month ago, Paramount Pictures embarrassed Tom Cruise by not renewing his production deal with the company, a move that was basically seen as Cruise being fired.  Now Paramount may take things even further and replace him in the "Mission : Impossible" franchise with Brad Pitt, one of his biggest rivals.  The Daily Mail says:

(Paramount) is determined to keep the lucrative series alive after "Mission : Impossible III" took $400 million at the box office, with the previous episode taking $545 million … Sources say Paramount is prepared to do whatever it takes to get Pitt on board, and is even willing to make him the highest-paid movie star in history, with a salary topping $40 million … "Everything's being kept top secret, but they're offering Brad a deal no one could possibly refuse. There's no doubt, this would make Brad Pitt the biggest and highest paid star in the world."

I know Brad Pitt is busy chasing chickens around villages and following his sexy wife through enchanted jungles, but if he could make time for this, that would be awesome.  I didn’t win the Nobel Prize in karate because I’m so handsome (although I certainly could have), I won it because I know a little something about kickin ass, and I have to believe Tyler Durden is scarier than Jerry Maguire.  Syrupy love notes and precocious kids are annoying, but they’re not gonna make me hand over this lethal virus.

more after the jump



PITT IN A THREEWAY WITH JOLIE AND ANISTON?

By brendon September 05, 2006 @ 8:31 AM

Daniel Edwards, the artist who created sculptures of Britney Spears giving birth on a bear rug and "Suri (Crusies) bronzed baby poop", is now working on an sexually explicit sculpture of Brad Pitt with both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston.  A source tells the London Daily Star:

"(Jolie and Aniston) are horrified by the work and will go to any lengths to prevent it from being exhibited. That includes teaming up against Daniel. But Brad doesn’t seem to be bothered by the threesome portrayal at all."

Eh.  This would maybe be kinda hot except that it wont be.  The idea of Brad and Angelina behind Aniston, working her over until she cries, just as they have in real life, may sound hot but the reality will probably be disappointing.  Just like that prostitute I picked up on Santa Monica Blvd.  Turns out that 6’2” blond had a secret.