Actor Jesse Heiman’s IMDB profile reads like a jock’s wedgie hitlist, with roles like “Nerd”, “Member of the High School Video Club”, “Chubby Young Adult”, “Comic Shop Customer”, “Geek” and “Winking Comic Book Nerd” under his hiked up belt. But the 34-yeqar old actor started off 2013 with his biggest role yet, as “That dork who got to make out with Bar Refaeli” in Go Daddy’s Super Bowl ad.
He followed that up by sucking face with Jaime Pressly in the music video for Michael Bublé’s “It’s a Beautiful Day”, but as you can see above, she was the 47th most attractive girl in that video. Last Thursday, Heiman took another step down the ladder as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member Brandi Glanville laid a sneak attack tongue bath all over Heiman’s patchy red complexion.
The 40-year-old model licked and kissed actor Jesse Heiman — best known for his Go Daddy Super Bowl commercial with Bar Refaeli — at the Pieces (of Ass) 10th Anniversary Show in Hollywood.
Despite their over-the-top PDA, Glanville seems to be dating other people. “Why do I like my boyfriends just a little bit more when they ignore me?” she tweeted. (US Magazine)
Heiman looked pretty upset when Brandi went in for the kill, and he should be. If Refaeli is a perfect 10, then Glanville is a .4. If Bar is an Oreo cookie, Brandi isn’t even a Hydrox. She’s like a vanilla wafer colored black with a Sharpie. Heiman should consider hiring bodyguards, like Gaddafi’s Amazonian Guard. They’d probably work for cheap right now.
“Omg just had a talk about turning my book in2 a movie! Maybe we should pitch it to Lifetime ;) An unromantic comedy! #pinchme,”
I have no clue who Brandi Glanville is. I guess her claim to fame was getting dumped by Eddie Cibrian (who I also have no ides who the fuck he is) and then pretending to be bummed about it as she gained national attention and new tits and a new career. Doing what? I don’t know, but she says she wrote a book and now someone wants to turn it into a movie. However, I did just describe every noteworthy part of her life in one sentence. So either someone’s lying or every studio in Hollywood just said fuck it then got together and picked a name out of a hat.
Brandi Glanville is mainly famous because Eddie Cibrian is an idiot and divorced her to marry the magic luck dragon, but now she’s the star of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’, and during their wrap-up show last night she admitted that she and Gerard Butler did it.
…the 39-year-old reality star said that Butler was the most famous person she’s ever hooked up with.
“[We had] a little week of fun,” she said.
When asked to rate Butler as a lover on a “scale of one to ten,” she said: “11!”
By “a week” she better mean a week straight, because Brandi Glanville is fantastic looking, the perfect MILF. She’s pretty and really thin with long hair and she dresses trampy. If any other hot girl out there has been considering getting skinny as a greyhound with C-cups and an asslikethis, please, by all means go for it.
Unlike Amy Winehouse, “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star Brandi Glanville put on a pink bikini and quietly walked around the beach in Malibu, because she’s not a theatrical little cry baby. Fine Amy. Yeah, good, go do more drugs Amy, that’ll be fine, you don’t need help you know-it-all little bitch. Come on, everyone, let’s all go pay attention to Amy so her little hissy fit won’t go to waste.
It was weird when Eddie Cibrian famously started an affair with LeAnn Rimes and eventually left Brandi Glanville for her, and it hasn’t started to magically make sense ever since. Because this is Brandi on the beach in LA yesterday. Unless LeAnn has a vagina lined with vibrating velvet, this is the most perplexing thing I’ve ever seen.
TRACY MORGAN – is in trouble again for making fun of people during his stand-up, this time about the mentally handicapped. Um, I think that’s just the way he normally talks. This is a big misunderstanding. (e!)
PARTY DOWN – was a fantastic show that was cancelled way too early, but now there’s a real chance a movie might be made. Or at least there will be if they want me to tell them what the antidote to the poison is. (/film)
BRANDI GLANVILLE AND CAMILLE GRAMMER – and the cast of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ spent another day in bikinis in Hawaii. It was like a MILF porn, except worse in every way. (bauer griffin)