JWOWW - has turned down a $400,000 offer to pose naked for Playboy. “I am not going to do Playboy in the near future. There is a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon.” That money is gonna look pretty good a year from now when she’s strapped to a spinning wheel of wood while someone throws knives at her. (huff post)
DIANNA AGRON - of ‘Glee’ posted about their sexy GQ photo shoot. “If you are hurt or these photos make you uncomfortable, it was never our intention. And if your eight-year-old has a copy of our GQ cover in hand, again I am sorry. But I would have to ask, how on earth did it get there?”
I have a message for concerned parents too: I don’t give a fuck about your stupid kid. You had it, you raise it. Dianna can bake the little bastards into a pie for all I care. (tumblr)
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER - but only if you’re a hot, slutty girl. Or a regular, slutty girl who can keep a secret. (twitter)
BRANDY NORWOOD - said she hasn’t had sex in years, but wearing a sheer black shirt with no bra is a good way to break out of that rut. Because I’ll rape her. (getty, pacific coast)
Last week on ‘Dancing with the Stars’, Brandy admitted that she hasn’t been “intimate” with a man in 6 years. Some thought that meant she hadn’t had sex in 6 years, but that isn’t what she meant at all. Oh never mind actually that sort of is what she meant.
“I haven’t been with a man seriously and in love in six years,” says Brandy, 31. “And, honestly, I tend to abstain if I’m not in a relationship.”
So has she been celibate for six years? “Um, no. But it’s been a long time. We’re talking years.”
The opportunity has certainly been there. She even confirms her interest in rapper Flo Rida. “I was very interested in him. I mean, how can you not be, he’s very attractive. But there was just something about us that didn’t click.”
Yeah because you’re a weirdo. When two people are in a relationship, they have sex. That’s it. End of story. Anything else is just weird. I didn’t think they even still made people like this. It would be like going to buy a computer, and one model was 8 feet wide and had a big rotary dial on it, and one green and one red lightbulb on top that lit up to let you know if it solved your problem yet.
I can’t remember the last time we talked about Brandy, but if she would wear more tight shirts and bounce up and down like she did when leaving rehearsals for ‘Dancing With The Stars’, that would certainly help. She should just wear a bikini and do the Bunny Hop for every dance. Or start a new show where she’s a cop or something and her uniform is real tight and she runs a lot. And also there’s like some topless sorority girls and they kiss each other all the time. That would be a good show!
Brandy is being sued for $50 million by the family of Awatef Aboudihaj, the woman who was killed in a car crash initiated by Brandy. IMDb says:
Awatef Aboudihaj's parents filed a wrongful death lawsuit at Los Angeles Superior Court yesterday after police recommended the singer be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter. Their 38-year-old daughter was killed in a four-car freeway crash in California on December 30. The California Highway Patrol has ruled Brandy was at fault because she failed to prevent her Land Rover from hitting the car in front when traffic slowed down.
Holy crap. 50 million? If Brandy has 50 million I’m gonna go find out what Monica drives and stomp my brakes in front of her. She must be worth eleventy billion. Maybe I'll dig up a fresh body and put it in my passenger seat, then cradle it in my arms after the wreck and scream "why" while shaking my fist at god. Man, I thought I'd never have to do this again.
IRONIC TRIVIA - spell check recommends “awake” for “Awatef”.
The California Highway Patrol is recommending that Brandy be charged with a misdemeanor count of vehicular manslaughter without gross negligence after her involvement in a December car crash that left one woman dead. The CHP made its recommendation to the Los Angeles City Attorney's office Monday morning. The City Attorney will review the case and decide whether to officially file charges. If convicted, Brandy could face one year in jail or a $1,000 fine. People says:
"We know that Brandy's at fault for the chain reaction of the collision," (a CHP spokesperson says) … the investigation found there were no indicators that Brandy was distracted at the moment she rear-ended the 2005 Toyota being driven by Awatef Aboudihaj, who died the evening after the crash at Providence Holy Cross Medical Center.
Police on the scene determined that Brandy was not speeding and going no faster than 65 miles per hour, and the wreck was caused because Brandy didn’t notice the traffic in front of her slowing down. So, if anything, it sounds to me like Aboudihaj should be charged with slowing down while being less sexy than Brandy. I'd also charge her for having an ass that's not bangin. “It's okay, I guess, but Brandy’s - dammmnnn!” said a CHP source who might be me.
Today it has been revelaed that Brandy was involved in a fatal car accident at 10:30 AM on December 30, 2006 on the 405 Freeway in Los Angeles. TMZ says:
Brandy was driving her 2007 Land Rover at 65 mph and did not notice that cars in front of her had slowed considerably … Brandy's vehicle struck a 2005 Toyota. The Toyota then hit a 1989 Toyota. The 2005 Toyota then slid sideways and hit the center divider. As the 2005 Toyota came to a halt, it was struck by a 1988 Acura … the driver of the 2005 Toyota, Awatef Aboudihaj, was taken to Holy Cross Hospital in critical condition and she died the next day. Brandy was not injured. The driver of the Acura suffered moderate injuries. Brandy was not arrested and there is no evidence drugs or alcohol were involved.
At least Brandy had the good sense to kill someone with a wildly confusing name. In 6 months, that name will have passed through 50 government workers and each one will screw it up a little more until eventually Brandy goes on trial for killing Mustafa from the Lion King. Her defense will just be a VHS copy of the movie and then they'll put out an APB on Scar. And then, look out foreigners, because then our R and B singers are back on the road!
