lets all pretend X-Men 3 never happened

By brendon November 27, 2012 @ 5:49 PM

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Brett Ratner is such a shitty director that when he was done with ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’, the franchise had to literally go back in time before it existed and start over. Which is how we got ‘X-Men: First Class’ from the terrific Matthew Vaughn.

Now the sequel to that is back with Bryan Singer (who directed the first two), and he was twitter this afternoon to announce that Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart will be back playing Charles Xavier and Magneto, though presumably not in large roles since this movie closely follows ‘First Class’.

Even more surprising; there were apparently 117 other Ian McKellens on twitter.

Brian Grazer will produce the Oscars

By brendon November 10, 2011 @ 1:30 AM

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Brian Grazer, one of the most accomplished and respected producers in Hollywood, has agreed to replace Brett Ratner as the producer for this years Oscar telecast. There’s still no host to replace the departed Eddie Murphy, but one of the top choices seems to be Neil Patrick Harris. Who will definitely rehearse if nothing else wink wink.

(source = hollywood reporter)

Eddie Murphy out as Oscar host

By brendon November 09, 2011 @ 3:30 PM

Brett Ratner is the one who convinced Eddie Murphy to host the Academy Awards on February 26th, so now that Ratner has been fired for saying “fag”, Murphy is stepping down too. Maybe because he really really likes saying “fag”.

(source = hollywood reporter)

Brett Ratner got fired from the Oscars

By brendon November 09, 2011 @ 11:02 AM

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Brett Ratner has been forced out as producer of this years Academy Awards telecast, and yes it’s because of Hollywoods predictably typical PC bullshit. Deadline says…

This comes hours after Academy president Tom Sherak said he was standing behind Ratner despite his using the word “fag” in a Q&A to promote Tower Heist, and speaking graphically about his sex life on the cable TV show Attack of the Show and also in a phone interview with the Howard Stern show.
Now, the biggest question is: Will Eddie Murphy stay on as Oscar host?

Brett Ratner is an asshole and a terrible director but holy shit this is stupid. He obviously wasn’t saying anything homophobic. But now the show needs a new producer and a new direction. Here’s a few suggestions…

- make the losers leave.
- If the winner is ugly just bring the statue to them and let them wave from the crowd.
- If the winner is some foreigner hire a fake interpreter and have him say stuff like “America sucks” and “wow there are a lot of blacks in here.”

Brett Ratner made Lindsay get tested for STDs

By brendon November 08, 2011 @ 3:27 PM

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Brett Ratner is absolutely the kind of director who would have sex with young actresses, and Lindsay Lohan is absolutely the kind of young actress who would have sex with a director, so naturally these two had sex for a few months back in 2006, according to Ratner.

Oh but he wasn’t done embarrassing her yet.

“Before I have sex with a girl, I do do one weird thing,” Ratner said. “I do take ‘em to the doctor and check ‘em out. I’m like a cootie freak. I’m a germaphobe. I’m a hypochondriac. Before I go all the way, I send the girl to the doctor and check them for everything. My doctor has a test to tell if you’re going to catch something in the future even.”
Lohan obliged, came back ‘clean’ and the couple enjoyed a few months of fun before she discovered Ratner was cheating on her with at least one Victoria’s Secret model Alina Puscau.

If true, I will admit it takes admirable self control to go through all that before having sex with a girl. I don’t even like asking her a bunch of questions. It might wake her up.

(image source = inf)

Brett Ratner lied about “banging” Olivia Munn

By brendon November 08, 2011 @ 10:42 AM

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Brett Ratner had a perfectly terrible weekend, and that’s awesome because he’s a shitty director and an asshole and no one deserves success less than he does. Here’s a recap:

FRIDAY: Ratner explained that the reason his movies look like no one bothered to rehearse is because no one bothered to rehearse. Then he added the word “fags”.

“After a screening of his new movie ‘Tower Heist’ at L.A.’s Arclight Cinemas, the director came out for a Q&A, and when asked by the moderator whether he prepares and rehearses with his actors before shooting a scene, Ratner waved his hand dismissively and said, “Rehearsal is for fags.”

To be honest this seems dumb because he obviously wasn’t insulting gay people and he meant “fag” more like the way South Park explained it, but since gay groups are naturally inclined to throw hissyfits, that’s what they did, forcing him to apologize to save his gig producing this years Oscar telecast.

SATURDAY AND SUNDAY: ‘Tower Heist’ sort of tanked at the box office, finishing the weekend in second place with just $24 million, about 11 million less than it was expected to make. On the bright side that’s still 24 million more than a lazy copy of ‘Oceans 11′ except instead of Brad Pitt and Catherine Zeta Jones they have Eddie Murphy flirting with a 1400 pound moonfaced lump should have made.

MONDAY: Ratner admitted he was lying last week when he went on G4 and said he had sex with Olivia Munn. To be specific, what he said was…

“She was hanging out on my set of ‘After the Sunset,’ I banged her a few times, but I forgot her.”

Needless to say she didn’t really appreciate that. No girl would. Trust me, I haven’t been a virgin for months now, I know what a lady looks for in a lover.