Bria Murphy Is a Good Celebrity Daughter

By Lex September 25, 2014 @ 1:53 PM

Bria Murphy Wears Short Gym Shorts While Getting Her Nails Done In Beverly Hills
Don’t get arrested, don’t get fat, and tell everybody at parties that you’re going to be a model or start your own clothing line or something pro forma nobody ever asks a followup about. That’s really all you need to do as a celebrity daughter. For that you get a sweet allowance, a cool condo, a nice car, and you get to fuck pretty much whoever you want. I’d make that deal.

I don’t know why so many of these silver spoon born make it so complicated. Bria Murphy’s celebrity parents are divorced, they’re involved in their own new flings, dad’s dating a white chick not much older than Bria herself. Fuck, she has all the reasons of any celebrity kid to be a major pain in the Paxil ass. But look at that smiling punim. She gets it. The alternatives are all much much harder.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Paige Butcher Shaming Her Future Stepdaughters Once Again

By Lex April 07, 2014 @ 3:41 PM

Paige Butcher And Bria And Shayne Murphy Show Off Their Bikini Bodies In Maui
Usually when your dad takes up with a hot young replacement for your mom, you can act out and start smoking cloves and underaged drinking and having sex with dudes who ride rice burners and have face tattoos. But what do you do when you’re already twenty and he replaces your mom with some white devil bitch with incredible tits? That teen rebel runaway shit will not play. All you can really do is strap on a thong and try to measure up until she gets eaten by a shark. But what if she is the shark? What if she starts whispering heinous shit like ‘The apples of his eyes shall never measure up to the peach upon his dick’ as she struts by to go hump your inheritance out of your dad. Tears and porn are your last two options. Measure them out in equal parts and you might stand a chance.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Bria Murphy in A Bikini Playing Volleyball

By Lex April 02, 2014 @ 12:45 PM

Bria Murphy Plays Volleyball In A Lace Bikini In Hawaii
I’m glad my dad wasn’t famous or wealthy or very accurate with his punches. It seems like a burden to be a celebrity kid. If you’re Eddie Murphy’s kid, everybody’s wondering aloud when you’re going to become super famous for ten years then disappear for the next twenty. But Bria Murphy has figured out a celebrity daughter plan that no other celebrity daughter ever has before her, she’s going to become a model. Why didn’t I think of that, thought the ten-thousand other celebrity daughters who’ve gotten into modeling because they don’t have to get a real job. In particular, Bria wants to model for Victoria’s Secret, breaking the color barrier by becoming the first not all that good looking black girl to model for the quality slave labor lingerie clothing company. Yeah, there’s been a few really attractive black women to model for Victoria’s Secret before, but never a flat chested six or seven. I can hear Halle Berry crying about Lena Horne already.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Eddie Murphy’s Daughters Have Talent Too

By Lex February 07, 2014 @ 5:38 PM

Bria And Shayne Murphy Pose In Lingerie For A Photoshoot By iamEpic In Los Angeles
Any man who has the privilege to make babies with models knows the obvious upside, outside of the procreative sex with an amazing looking woman who likely mumbles, is having a bunch of kids who are much better looking than you. Eddie Murphy’s daughters are pretty hot. I think they’re both of age so I can more freely talk about how horribly I’d like to bang them both while watching the uncut version of Raw. That’s not likely to happen, but just talking about it makes me feel more manly. The girls got together in their dad’s bedroom to take some photos of their asses in lingerie. Apparently, they’re hoping to get Victoria’s Secret modeling contracts, which could totally happen if they could just figure out a way to be a little less black.

Photo Credit: iamEpic/Instagram

Paige Butcher And Bria Murphy In Bikinis

By Lex June 14, 2013 @ 1:42 PM

Paige Butcher And Bria Murphy Hanging Out In Bikinis At The Beach In Maui
You’re not my new mom! That’s right, Bria. I’m taller, skinnier, and hotter than your mom. I wear my bikini slung so low that your daddy can see my pelvic bones pointing right to the place where he’s going to make your replacements. Also, he told me the other night he never really loved you. Suck on that.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Bria and Shayne Murphy In Bikinis

By Lex June 12, 2013 @ 12:56 PM

Bria & Shayne Murphy In Bikinis At The Beach In Hawaii
I think the Chinese might have it right. Having daughters seems like an enormous pain in the ass. I suppose the tea parties are a blast, but when they grow up to be running around in bikinis in front of dudes then you have to go kill people you barely know for no good reason. That just sounds like work. Give me a son with a dull mind and strong shoulders to work the farm. Or fetch me beer since I don’t have a farm. Let your neighbor make the girls. See which one of you lives longer.

Here’s Eddie Murphy’s two girls Bria and Shayne on the beach in Hawaii. They’re both over 18 now so don’t worry about the NSA mind melding what you’re thinking.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet