Bria Murphy Is a Good Celebrity Daughter

Don't get arrested, don't get fat, and tell everybody at parties that you're going to be a model or start your own clothing line or something pro forma nobody ever asks a followup about. That's really all you need to do as a celebrity daughter. For that you get a sweet allowance, a cool condo, a nice car, and you get to fuck pretty much whoever you want. I'd make that deal. I don't know why so many of these silver...read more

Paige Butcher Shaming Her Future Stepdaughters Once Again

Usually when your dad takes up with a hot young replacement for your mom, you can act out and start smoking cloves and underaged drinking and having sex with dudes who ride rice burners and have face tattoos. But what do you do when you're already twenty and he replaces your mom with some white devil bitch with incredible tits? That teen rebel runaway shit will not play. All you can really do is strap on a thong and...read more

Bria Murphy in A Bikini Playing Volleyball

I'm glad my dad wasn't famous or wealthy or very accurate with his punches. It seems like a burden to be a celebrity kid. If you're Eddie Murphy's kid, everybody's wondering aloud when you're going to become super famous for ten years then disappear for the next twenty. But Bria Murphy has figured out a celebrity daughter plan that no other celebrity daughter ever has before her, she's going to become a model. Why...read more

Eddie Murphy's Daughters Have Talent Too

Any man who has the privilege to make babies with models knows the obvious upside, outside of the procreative sex with an amazing looking woman who likely mumbles, is having a bunch of kids who are much better looking than you. Eddie Murphy's daughters are pretty hot. I think they're both of age so I can more freely talk about how horribly I'd like to bang them both while watching the uncut version of Raw. That's not...read more

Paige Butcher And Bria Murphy In Bikinis

You're not my new mom! That's right, Bria. I'm taller, skinnier, and hotter than your mom. I wear my bikini slung so low that your daddy can see my pelvic bones pointing right to the place where he's going to make your replacements. Also, he told me the other night he never really loved you. Suck on that. Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCNread more

Bria and Shayne Murphy In Bikinis

I think the Chinese might have it right. Having daughters seems like an enormous pain in the ass. I suppose the tea parties are a blast, but when they grow up to be running around in bikinis in front of dudes then you have to go kill people you barely know for no good reason. That just sounds like work. Give me a son with a dull mind and strong shoulders to work the farm. Or fetch me beer since I don't have a farm....read more