Britney Spears Wants a Bigger Stage

By Lex October 02, 2013 @ 4:08 PM

Britney Spears In Her New Video For 'Work Bitch'
Britney Spears isn’t happy with the size of her new venue at Planet Hollywood in Vegas. It’s the same small stage where Holly Madison worked the pole in Peepshow and it’s far smaller than the arena stage Britney’s used to stomping around on with her mouth moving to her pre-recorded songs playing on the PA. But, it’s a good way to stop the ‘Britney shows not selling out’ memes running across the gossip circuit. Just move to a smaller venue and herald the fact that your packing them in each night. In a not so roundabout way, it’s the same reason I will only have sex with midgets.

Here’s Britney in her new Work Bitch music video. It’s been heralded as her greatest work in a decade. I do know the post-production people deserve a ton of credit because we saw Britney’s hanging ass on the set during filming. Poof. Movie magic. All gone.

Britney Spears Still Kind Of Has It

By Travis September 27, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Britney Spears is riding a pretty big high right now, as her upcoming Las Vegas show is already reportedly one of the best-selling of all-time (while other reports say the exact opposite), and she released a new teaser clip for her “Work Bitch” music video on Instagram last night. The song’s a flaming bag of her kids’ old diapers, but I guess it’s pretty important to remember that this crazy chick has been through a lot and still looks pretty good. She’ll never recapture the magic of early 20s Britney again, but we could do a lot worse than “early 30s with two kids, divorced from Kevin Federline” Britney. Namely, Miley Cyrus.

Britney Spears Is Going To Make Fat Elvis Bank

By Jack September 16, 2013 @ 1:16 PM

Britney Spears is going to rake in the dough as she transitions into the fat jumpsuit Elvis phase of her career. She is slated to perform 48 shows at the Planet Hollywood Casino in Vegas at $310,000 a show. Slack-jawed obese mouth-breathers from the Midwest will fork over $160 a ticket to remember what life was like 12 years, 87 pounds, and 6 kids ago. Celine Dion is still the highest paid has-been in Vegas getting a reported $476,000 a show because, apparently, there are just enough suicidal people looking to be driven over the edge to justify spending that kind of money. Ferris wheels and Britney Spears and cracking down on hookers are the future of Vegas. So, basically Disneyland with Asian dudes playing pai gow in Frontierland.

Britney’s Ass Is Hanging At Around 6 O’Clock

By Lex September 10, 2013 @ 5:30 PM

Miley Cyrus may look like the poor-outcome rabbits they find behind the makeup product testing labs, but she’s at least hitting the gym to make sure her ass looks tight in all her tiny costumes. Britney, meh, not so much. Somebody’s got to shoot her full of PEDs and get her back in the game for another season or two. That conservatorship is going to end at some point and she needs to reload on crazy money.

Here’s Britney wardrobed up on the set of Work Bitch, her new music video. It’s got a great title, it just needs a put together butt and maybe and an accidental production death and I’m definitely watching.

Let It Go, Britney Spears

By Travis September 09, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Britney Spears posted the above image from the set of her new music video to Instagram yesterday, and I guess we can’t really fault the former teen pop queen for trying to remain relevant, but it’s time for her to let it go. She doesn’t look bad by any means, but Christina Aguilera had ballooned up to half a ton before she lost a lot of weight so she could look incredibly hot again, and that raised the bar pretty high. Britney looks like a sober 5 or a drunk 7 at best, and that’s before we take any of the hundreds of pop stars who are both younger and hotter than her into account. By that point, she’s just the fat friend at last call.

Britney Spears Shows Off Her Cleavage At The Smurfs 2 Premiere

By Lex July 29, 2013 @ 1:03 PM

Britney Spears' Cleavage At The Smurfs 2 Premiere In Los Angeles

Photo Credit: Getty, FameFlynet, INFphoto.com