Britney has no bra, engagment ring

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 5:58 PM

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Britney Spears was out in LA today holding a sweater or something over her chest to hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra.The only idea more clever than that would be to actually wear a bra. But she’s single now so I guess she has to sex it up. And it’s working. I haven’t given Britney much thought lately, but now I’m rubbing my chin and thinking, “Tits, eh… how interesting.”

(image source = wenn, fame/flynet)

Britneys dad and her ex arranged her break-up

By brendon January 15, 2013 @ 2:18 PM

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There had been rumors for a while that Jason Trawick was ready to break up with Britney Spears, but since he’s also the co-conservator of her estate, it wasn’t as if he could simply fake his own murder like I do.

Instead, Trawick had to meet with Britney’s dad in secret to settle on the terms of his daughters breakup, as if he’d just lost a war or something.

Radar has exclusively learned that (Britney), 31, had very little to do with the decision process regarding her split…
“Jason wanted out, and in the fragile state that Britney is in, it’s not like he could have a rational conversation with her about it, so it was really between him and Jamie. They decided how the relationship needed to end and how to go about the technicalities, such as removing Jason from the conservatorship, when he would move out and how to announce the split. Britney was left out of everything and really didn’t even know what was going on.”

I bet Britney would really enjoy a story about herself where the phrase “she didn’t even know what was going on” doesn’t come up at least once.

(image source of britney in malibu yesterday – fame/flynet)

Britney quit the X Factor (before they could fire her)

By brendon January 10, 2013 @ 2:12 PM

Britney Spears will take the $15 million she made this year as a judge on ‘the X Factor’ and walk, choosing not to return for a second season (though she was likely to be fired anyway). Sources says she wants to focus on making her next album (her 8th), but Britney said, “I was on the X Factor? Oh ma God I was wonderin what that was. Did I win? Did I get any stuff?”

is Britney Spears getting dumped or not?

By brendon December 21, 2012 @ 7:44 PM

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Britney Spears and Jason Trawick were supposed to get married at the end of this month, but that got postponed for some vague reason, leading everyone to assume they were breaking up. And since there’s nothing going on this week, let’s keep assuming that.

“It’s a make or break holiday for Britney and Jason,” a source close to the Toxic singer told Radar.
“Things have been getting worse and worse with their relationship for several months now, and they know they have to figure things out once and for all because they can’t keep going on like this.”

Trawick was with her last night at ‘the X-Factor’ finale, but that’s probabaly not good, because she look terrified the entire time. So either she’s a complete fucking weirdo, or he has children dangling over a caldron of molten lead. Either way, they should probably break up.

Britney wants to write a novel

By brendon November 05, 2012 @ 4:29 PM

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The Hollywood Reporter is reporting today that Britney Spears is close to signing a book deal with plans to write a novel, likely a fictionalized version of her own life, and they report it in the most sarcastic way possible.

Indeed, Spears is the latest in a growing cadre of headline-grabbers who dabble in books. They include the Kardashians and Jersey Shore’s Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.
No word yet on when a Spears book may be released, but with the singer appearing on a network TV show (and being paid handsomely for it — in the vicinity of $15 million) and having sold nearly 100 million albums worldwide in her career, the advance is likely to be substantial.

It’s also likely that the people running this company had a meeting one day where they said, “hey let’s run this fucking place right into the ground. By giving book deals to Snooki and Khloe Kardashian. My other idea was to put some glasses and a tie on a turtle and let him run the place.”

(image source = getty)

Miley is pretending like she turned down X Factor

By brendon October 15, 2012 @ 4:03 PM

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Though the X Factor didn’t turn out to be the ratings extravaganza many anticipated, it’s still great for the judges who get tons of exposure and lots of money (Britney will make $15,000,000 this season) for doing almost nothing. It’s pretty much what Miley Cyrus does now except someone would pay her for it.

That’s why it seems very hard to believe she was offered a job as a judge and turned it down. She told the Sun

“I just don’t know if I want to be some dream crusher.”
“Would you really want to sit there as someone is belting their heart out – even if it is like hearing nails on a chalkboard – and then say to them, ‘You suck’? It seems harsh.”

Wait what? I say worse things than that to my friends, for free, and I actually like them. You’re god dammed right I’d tell some doofus who can’t sing that he sucks. For $15,000,000 you can put the guy in a cell next to me and I’ll whisper horrible things until he swallows his tongue for all I care.