LINDSAY LOHAN - is 23, and Roberto Cavalli is 69. Good luck trying to figure out which one to feel sorry for. (wenn)
JAY LENO - is planning a week of shows in New York City, to beat Letterman “on his home turf”. Leno will be great there. I bet he’ll have some real zingers about how the Knicks aren’t very good at basketball. This guy doesn’t care whose toes he steps on. (pop eater)
DARYL HANNAH - is naked in her new movie, and the Sun has a few pictures. She might have the best naked body of any 50 year old I’ve ever seen, and I base that on comparisons to absolutely nothing. Or did you think this was some kind of geriatric lust website. (the sun)
SIMON MONJACK - is SOL because Brittany Murphy left him out of her will. I went one year into the future to question him about this, but he was too busy asking a cat if it was gonna finish that Meow Mix. (us.com)
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - somehow pulled a super tight dress over her fat hips last night. If you don’t feel like clicking the link, just imagine what it looks like right after a python swallows a pig. (daily mail)
Over the weekend, The New York Post reported that Brittany Murphy filled a prescription for Vicodin just 11 days before she died. And then took 109 of them. That’s 2.42 vicodin (*) per hour for the last 11 days of her life. Her dipshit husband told Radar the story is a lie, and they might sue the Post because of it.
“Dr. Cohen prescribed the pills to (Brittanys mom). Dr. Cohen has never prescribed anything to Brittany. He’s never, ever seen Brittany.”
“This is so defamatory and ridiculous. It benefits no one when these lies are propagated.”
And yet Brittany did have vicodin (hydrocodone) in her system when she died, so God only knows what this retards point is. Granted I don’t really know how drugs work. To be honest I can barely even form a complete sentence. But a buddy of mine who is a Neurosurgical Resident at The U dumbed down all the stuff in her autopsy for me. Full text here, but here’s (SPOILER ALERT!) the summary…
…that’s a lot of sedative medications, and a lot of drug/drug interactions that can cause serious respiratory depression. It’s a lot of unnecessary medications.
After that he said, “A competent physician would treat her pneumonia, rather than just drown everything with pain killers if you know what I mean.” And I said, “I sure do, haha!”. And then I nervously laughed some more while praying there would be no follow up question.
When Brittany Murphy died, her husband Simon Monjack was adamant that it was a shocking tragedy, and was baffled when asked for any explanation.
“This is what’s killing all of us? How did it happen?”
Asked point-blank if a drug overdose was a possible cause of death, Monjack replied, “I can get rid of that one right now,” he says. “She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. There are no drugs involved.”
The Los Angeles Coroner’s Office released the full autopsy report for Brittany Murphy on Thursday, which revealed new details surrounding her death and drug use (and) a breakdown of what drugs were found in her system.
And those are: Propranolol (a sedative), Hydrocodone (a morphine-like pain killer), Phenazopyridine (pain killer generally taken after surgery), Fluoxetine (aka Prozac), Dextromethorphan (in some doses it’s cough syrup, in others it’s a hallucinogenic), Chlorpheniramine (allergy medicine), and methamphetamines (methamphetamines).
I have to say, for a girl who let this tub of shit flop around on top of her, I’m surprised she only took 6 sedatives and/or pain killers. I would have done all that, chased it with scotch and then had someone drop a safe on my head.
THE BRITTANY MURPHY FOUNDATION - has been shut down. The charity started by her ex-husband never filed for charity status, meaning he could spend the money however he wanted. Calling this a charity is the most deceptive name since “glory hole”. (wonderwall)
TIGER WOODS - allegedly got his porn star girlfriend pregnant. Twice. Once she had an abortion, and the other time she had a miscarriage after the baby fell out of her cavernous, porn-star sized vagina. (times of london)
ROBERT PATTINSON - tells Details magazine, “I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vaginas.” Hopefully this mean he’s gay. In fact if every guy better looking than me would go gay, that would be terrific. (popeater)
AMANDA BYNES - has gone black. On twitter she wrote that she prefers chocolate to vanilla, possibly alluding to Kid Cudi. Although she’s never admitted to dating him. Is she worried about being black balled? If so that would be ironic. (huffington post)
CHARLOTTE CHURCH - better not try to fly Southwest. (source of her this weekend in Dubai = flynet)
The LA County Coroner has determined that Brittany Murphy died on Dec. 20 at the age of 32 due to pneumonia and an iron deficiency anemia exacerbated by multiple drug intoxication. A toxicology report detailing what those drugs might have been is complete but won’t be released for several weeks. Her death has been ruled an accident.
Unofficially it’s being reported that her pneumonia and anemia would not have killed her if she had received proper medical care in time. She didn’t, and when combined with her drug use, they became fatal.
Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia.
Well now I don’t know what to believe because last week her husband said, “She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. There are no drugs involved.” And he looks trustworthy to me. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s so stately and dignified looking, like a noble king from olden days. I just have a good feeling about him.
BIG BANG THEORY - with the laugh track removed is confusing. How will I know if a joke has been told? They should have a blinking light system in the corner that tells me when to laugh. Green means laugh, Yellow means it’s time to catch your breath from laughing, and Red means to put on your laughing hat because another big joke is comin’ down the tracks. (you tube)
PAM ANDERSON - will be a contestant on the next season of ‘Dancing With the Stars’, and for the first few weeks all her dancing will be set to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’. She’ll save ‘Slave 4 U’ and ‘Can A Nigga Get A Table Dance’ until she needs to really show the judges what she can do. (radar)
NOAH CYRUS - is not part of a lingerie line for little kids, despite that story being everywhere yesterday. The company allegedly behind this actually makes ballet dresses for little girls, which is essentially the same thing, except now your disgusting erotic fantasy is set to romantic music and feels kind of classy. (cnbc)
