Brooke Burke Deserves a Good Shvitz

By Lex September 26, 2014 @ 2:01 PM

Brooke Burke Wears Spandex After Spin Class In Malibu
I still like this Brooke Burke chick a lot. She’s birthed some Duggar family number of offspring without the need to brag about how many vegan dieting socially progressive kids she’s produced for this world. She also had cancer and instead of bitching about it on daytime TV, spent her time starting a lingerie line for hot moms to wear silky shit to try and make as many babies as she has. She probably shits pre-washed heirloom tomatoes to make the perfect Caprese salads for the homeless. Someday, all that nipping and tucking will make her look like a shrunken apple head, but the rising sea levels will be up to our ankles by then and we’ll all be dead or just very pissed about our wet shoes.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Brooke Burke is more like it

By brendon January 21, 2013 @ 1:16 PM


Brooke Burke is 41 now, but she still looks incredible, and I know she has two kids which would normally be a deal-breaker because kids are awful and I hate them, but that’s what English boarding schools are for, and crooked adoption agencies who don’t ask a lot of questions about where the kid came from.

(image source of brooke yesterday after a workout in malibu – fame/flynet)

Brooke Burke cant hide in a bikini

By brendon July 19, 2012 @ 8:17 PM


It looks like ‘Dancing with the Stars’ host Brooke Burke was trying to be low-key while at a pool in Miami today with her husband David Charvet, but it didn’t work. Because she’s famous and famous people are easy to spot. It’s not like we’re penguins for fucks sake.

(image source = fame/flynet, pacific coast)

Monday headlines, with Brooke Burke in a bikini

By brendon August 15, 2011 @ 4:19 PM


JESSICA ALBA – gave birth to her second child Saturday night, another baby girl, named Haven Garner Warren. There’s no word on if Alba is home from the hospital yet, but since she’s Mexican she’ll probably stop at the mall first to have Havens ears pierced. (facebook)

AUSTIN POWERS 4 – is or is not on the way. Hit Fix says the deal is done, Deadline says nothing is official yet. For now, Halloween stores everywhere will just have to cross their fingers. (hit fix, deadline)

TARA REID – tweeted that she got married in Greece on Saturday just a few hours after tweeting that she was engaged. Some thought the lucky fella was ex-boyfriend Michael Lilleund or ex-fiance Michael Axtmann, but it’s actually some guy named Zack Kehayov, which I bet will be news to Tara once the ouzo wears off. (people)

JOHNNY DEPP – was reuniting with director Gore Verbinski and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who first teamed up to make ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’, to play Tonto in a film version of ‘The Lone Ranger’, but Disney shut production down on Friday because the budget was already at 250 million. It’s a lot of money, but try to think of even one western that cost less that 200 million. You can’t name even one can you? If you wan’t to film two guys on horses, it’s gonna cost you. (la times)

BROOKE BURKE – spent the weekend with her husband David Charvet on the beach in St. Barths, all part of the MILF bikini contest that Hollywood was apparently holding. (splash)


By brendon March 12, 2007 @ 1:20 PM

Brooke Burke and her husband David Charvet brought Burger King hamburgers and french fries to the homeless in Santa Monica this weekend.  And while it probably won't make any lasting change in the homeless situation, I guess it's better than my plan, which is to point at them. 


By brendon January 10, 2007 @ 12:09 PM

Brooke Burke gave birth to a baby daughter yesterday at St. Johns Hospital in Santa Monica.  Burke, 35, and her fiancé David Charvet, 34, named the baby Heaven Rain.  Its Brookes third daughter, proving once and for all that god is a man.  People says:

"Brooke had a very smooth delivery, with her fiancé David by her side," rep Nancy Iannios tells PEOPLE exclusively. "They are thrilled to be back at home now with their gorgeous baby girl. It's a very exciting time for them."

Holy crap.  Imagine you're the gynecologist looking down the list of patients for the day and you see Brooke Burkes name on there.  I'd immediately go brush my teeth and make a mix tape.  Honest to God, if I were her OBGYN, I'd conclude every visit by giving her a dozen roses and my cell number.