Brooke Hogan is in Miami now to rest up from her vacation in Hawaii. Poor little lamb.  I hope she finds time to film her TV show.  She has a pretty full plate.  Or maybe this is for the TV show.  Either way she’s still a mess.  She dresses like a whore but she’s so damn big it freaks me out.  She looks like a male cop who is undercover as a prostitute.

UPDATE - there's like 10,000 of these in HQ over on less clothes, if you care.  weirdo.



Brooke Hogan is annoying and dumb as a post and a spoiled little brat, and her thighs are fat and her ass is fat and her neck is fat and her hair looks damaged and she has bad skin, and also she can't sing, can't act, her family sucks and she looks exactly like Aaron Carter, but she does have big tits, and women are just more bearable when they have big tits.  It’s like a law of physics or something.

The always kick ass New York Daily News says today that Brooke Hogan has been approached by Playboy.  They need someone to bat cleanup on their men’s league softball team.  No not really.  They actually want her to take her clothes off.  

Brooke Hogan has been approached to pose nude for the famous men's magazine, her publicist told the Daily News on Wednesday. And she didn't say no.
The "Brooke Hogan Knows Best" star, 20, could use a boost for her stagnant singing career. Hogan's 2006 album "Undiscovered" reportedly sold just 127,000 copies.
But her father, WWE legend Hulk Hogan, likely won't be too thrilled with the idea. The Hulkster had no qualms about showing off his overbearing paternal side on the now-defunct VH1 reality show "Hogan Knows Best."
Brooke has posed for a men's magazine in the past (she appeared on the cover of FHM in a skimpy bikini in 2006), but has never posed nude.
"No decision has been made at this time," her rep said.

Whatever.  This bitch will do it.  She's a trampy idiot.  This is what they do.  They show you their vagina for money.  They don’t even have to pay her.  She’d probably do it for a ride home.  I bet that’s more than she usually gets.  Paying her to act like a slut is like paying a dog to chase a squirrel.

Splash News has some pictures today of Brooke Hogan and her dad's girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel lying around the pool this morning.  Brooke is the one in the purple, Jennifer is in the white.  Hulk must have been back in the house, putting his suit on and getting ready for another long day of sexual confusion I mean time with his daughter.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask that if Brooke Hogan wants to do some modeling, she figure out how to model.  Look honey this was your idea, not mine.  I’m not asking her to build a log cabin, just figure out some damn poses that make her look attractive.  These pictures are from a shoot to promote her reality show, "Brooke Knows Best", which premier’s this Sunday on VH1.  Needless to say they suck.  That banner picture is probably supposed to be sexy, but really it just looks like she fell down and the camera went off accidentally.  I like to call this, "okay you can breathe now."  In this one she looks like Dennis Hopper in the movie "Super Mario Brothers", a statement which pulls the rare feat of insulting everyone involved all at once.



It goes without saying that Brooke Hogan is more tolerable in these pictures from this months Maxim than she typically is, because here she’s half naked and mute.  Also here she’s only 8 inches high, unlike in real life where she’s like 30 feet tall.  I would lose my erection in the time it would take me to get my penis from her mouth all the way down to her vagina.  She’s so big it’s creepy.  One time I saw her stand on a car and swat down a plane.  Swear to god, man.