Bruce Jenner in a Dress Ignites Chaos (VIDEO)

By Lex April 22, 2015 @ 1:11 PM

In your haste to laud Bruce Jenner for declaring his true gender identity and selling that truth to television, you might just mis-gender him which could implode the core of this planet and kill us all. Not hyperbole. That’s how important this is. One of the guests on CNN’s breaking coverage of Bruce Jenner in a dress declared he’s going to call Bruce Jenner ‘she’, because everybody else had already used up all the empty platitudes equating trannies to modern day superheroes. I guess he won. I’m not sure. Bruce Jenner already called the cops on the paparazzi who long range shot photos of him in a dress because it invades his privacy and endangers the rapturous moment he’s bringing to ABC on Friday declaring himself a woman since birth while wearing something fancy. CNN swooped in on the dress photos under newsworthy disclaimers because how else to objectively call Jenner’s chrysalis cracking moment the greatest moment in the history of mankind. Private pain is never fully recognized until it’s publicly commercialized. I just wish that old lady Jenner killed on the PCH was around to gab with me about that dress. So not his color.

Video credit: CNN

Bruce Jenner, The Interview, It’s So Fucking Almost Here (VIDEO)

By Lex April 15, 2015 @ 11:23 AM

ABC is teasing the shit out of the upcoming Diane Sawyer sit down with Bruce Jenner. It’s pretty much all they’ve had since Lost went off the air. They’re in danger of dropping below Oprah’s Fat and Fatter Channel in viewership. They blur out Bruce Jenner in the promos as if the aired interview is going to show him looking like an intoxicated Judy Garland struggling through My Funny Valentine. It’s just a ponytail. Jenner’s choice to become a woman is going to inspire so many women trapped inside Olympic decathlete gold medalist’s bodies to get their own Diane Sawyer interviews. You’re either on the right or wrong side of history. No matter how you feel about Jenner’s decision, you have to support him. I mean, you actually have to. It’s the law.

Jamie Foxx Not Correct (VIDEO)

By Matt March 31, 2015 @ 7:35 AM

JF

Jamie Foxx is being labeled ‘transphobic’ after he read off a couple weakly written  joke about Bruce Jenner at the I Heart Radio Music Awards. Foxx was completely unaware that certain groups are off limits when it comes to jokes. That might seem like discrimination but if you have six hours someone will gladly explain it to you as you protect your face. It should be noted Foxx was joking about a dude who is actively involved in selling every inch of his personal life to reality television and not a random wigged haberdasher in the front row:

“We have some groundbreaking performances here too tonight. We got Bruce Jenner, will be here doing some musical performances. He’s doing a his and her duet all by himself. Look, I’m just busting your balls, while I still can.” 

Bruce Jenner needs to be made fun of. His impending cock lopping is the only interesting thing about him. This was the fiftieth most offensive thing that happened at this show behind multiple Chris Brown cutaways and the fact it exists. Wake me when the bad jokes are about people not trying to turn a buck on their fame. You dance with the devil and you just might have dick jokes made about you.

Bruce Jenner Postpones His Sheman Show And Shit Around The Web

By Jack March 11, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Future woman and current dude Bruce Jenner is postponing his docuseries about his transformation from Kardashian step daddy to weird shman. He says he feels pressured by the producers. I guess to push the sex change sooner. You can’t rush sawing off your cock.

Read all about Bruce’s reservations. (TMZ)

There is nothing like a nice plump booty, is there? (The Chive)

Charlie Riina’s boobage is falling out of her underwear. (Egotastic)

Jennifer Lopez wears a tight red dress that shows off that famous ass. (Huffington Post)

Ekaterina Zueva wears jeans and nothing else. (Drunken Stepfather)

Kerrie McMahon wears a pink bikini to sell expensive water. (Hollywood Tuna)

Edita Vilkeviciute shows off her titties in these steamy bikini pics. (Popoholic)

Doyle Brunson Disappointed In Bruce Jenner

By Matt February 17, 2015 @ 7:32 AM

DB

Eighty year old Texan poker champion Doyle Brunson is shockingly not accepting of Bruce Jenner’s gender transition. This shouldn’t come as a surprise since he doesn’t believe in evolution or even the power of Miracle Whip. Brunson tweeted his disapproval and never backed down because he’s eighty years old and fuck y’all. He’s seen the invention of the microwave and this magic box which records your thoughts. Also he recognizes Jenner primarily as an Olympian and not the boring purse holder on that show about the whores:

“I can’t believe Bruce Jenner is trying to become a woman? He was a hero of mine since I was involved in track long ago. #Sayitsnottrue… this man was an Olympic champion that set all kind of records. That’s a woman? My hero? Come on!… He may still be some people’s hero, but not me.”

It’s a lot for a guy of this generation to process. First dudes are wearing shoes without buckles and now they want to be the chick from Bull Durham? Jenner should have stopped being your hero a while ago. If this is the straw that broke the camel’s back you’re more tolerant than I am. Still, it’s important to keep in mind that for every ‘you go, girl’ shoutout from LGBT supporters there’s an old dude in a cowboy hat whose heart you just broke. Also, that lady you straight up killed.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Bruce Jenner Lies Like a Woman And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 16, 2015 @ 12:00 PM

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Olympic champ turned reality TV castrato Bruce Jenner admits that he’s known his whole life that he really wanted to be a chick. I mean, I don’t give a shit that he wants to hack his dick off but lying to your parents then your wives then your kids for 60 years is fucked up. And what about America? He deserves a kick in the balls while he still has them.

Read all about Bruce’s lying lies. (TMZ)

This Hailey Clauson video will melt your eyeballs. (COED)

Alena’s naked tits are the best thing I’ve seen today. (Egotastic)

There is nothing like some nice thigh gap. (The Chive)

Kim Kardashian in blue contacts is fucking terrifying. (Huffington Post)

I would give Anna Kendrick the best three minutes of her life. (Drunken Stepfather)

Charlie Riina wears a wet t-shirt so you can see her titties. (Hollywood Tuna)