Kris Jenner Spins Like a Spider (VIDEO)

June 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner has a PhD in the manipulation of the human celery stalks comprising her family’s fan base. She can spin an embarrassing loss into a win with legendary agility.

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Bruce Jenner Ruins Caitlyn

May 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When Bruce Jenner added tits and designer gowns and courageously announced he was now Caitlyn, his tranny theatrics had an impact on more than merely his friends and family, and to a slight degree, that woman he vehicular killed on PCH. He also murdered the name Caitlyn.

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Bruce Jenner Ditches The Dong

April 11, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Caitlyn Jenner has finally ridded herself of her obtrusive and no doubt bottom quartile penis and underwent sexual reassignment surgery right in time for a new memoir. Jenner now has a vagina, or more accurately a facsimile of a vagina. 

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Rachel Dolezal Ties Anchor to Bruce Jenner

April 3, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rachel Dolezal earnestly believes the contents of her book. If you’ve been on the fence about keeping a gun in your home, consider all the crazy people out there in decent clothing. 

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Bruce Jenner Back in the Saddle

October 24, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bruce Jenner’s tits and jaunty lady laugh couldn’t carry his own reality show, but he’s back in the mix on the mothership filming for Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Bruce may be on his fiftieth year of transitioning into a lady, but he still loves the manly pursuits of horse back riding, model airplane drones, and driving really fast until you hit something.

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No Country for Old Men With Tits

August 4, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

E! is canceling I Am Cait after two seasons of what they unashamedly referred to as a documentary of a transitioning transexual. That sounded more grown up than Gay Bruce Gets Tits and Rides a Party Bus. Which is what the show was, though somehow producers managed to make even that spectacular log-line boring.

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Bruce Jenner Finally Gets the Cock

August 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bruce Jenner went longer on his plan to get cock without being labeled gay than any man before him. Fuck the decathlon gold. His signature achievement is in the plotting, surgeries, press releases, wardrobe, speeches, and down low camouflage cover stories all with the goal of finally getting some man meat while pretending he’s lady and this is entirely kosher.

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SI Late to the Bruce Jenner Lady Ass Kissing Party

June 29, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Bruce Jenner didn’t just get tits and a new wardrobe consultant. He became the touchstone media outlets to boost ratings and build LGBT bona fides under the guise of sports celebrity coverage. ESPN busted Bruce’s cherry with their cynically chosen Arthur Ashe Courage Awards. The line of sloppy Caitlyn seconds was long and fierce. Entertainment outlets, fashion magazines, news channels, social organizations, all lined up to applaud Bruce’s bravery in killing a woman then dressing to replace her so the world population lady count wouldn’t change.

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Caitlyn Not Playing in Congo

June 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The entire African Continent has only one satellite television provider, MultiChoice. Cable was out of the question because you had to tunnel under the ebola corpse landfills. Plus written permission from Simba.

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Caitlyn Jenner Naked in SI

May 5, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Caitlyn Jenner naked. Not since ‘Chipotle burrito, why?’ have three words caused such a shit your pants panic. It was inevitable. Sports Illustrated bid to be the first magazine to get the unclothed Bruce. That says more about Time Warner begging for progressive points than any cultural shift en masse. Guys who like sports haven’t suddenly found a passion for tranny. Exclusive of those already wing-manning for Hank Baskett and his after sundown Craigslist adventures.

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