BRUNO - as expected won the box office this weekend, pulling in $30.4m in it’s debut. That’s way less than the 50m some Hollywood insiders were suggesting on Friday, but keep in mind, no one in Hollywood has any idea what the fuck they’re talking about. (variety)
MICHAEL JACKSON - as far back as 1993 Jackson was having doctors issue prescriptions in other people names to score pain killers for him. In a related story, I had to go to 2 different doctors to get 2 percent hydrocortisone cream after stepping in poison oak. You rich people can suck my dick. (source = tmz)
UFC - picked a new ring girl this weekend as part of UFC 100. Her name is Natasha, and she’s adorable but not as hot as Arianny Celeste. Actually, who cares, LOOK AT DAN HENDERSON! 4 seconds after the great Joe Rogan says if Michael Bisping keeps drifting left he’s gonna get annihilated, Michael Bisping drifts left and gets annihilated. If Henderson hit him any harder, Bisping would have just burst into flames. (source = splash news online)
I don’t know if you’ve heard anything about this “Bruno” movie, but it opens today. Following a tireless promotional tour and very good early reviews, (70 percent on rottentomatoes, Roger Ebert said, “Here is a film that is 82 minutes long and doesn’t contain 30 boring seconds”) a better than expected midnight run last night has projections moved up to a potential 50 million dollar opening weekend, according to Dateline Hollywood. That would be close to top 5 all time for a comedy.
After saying all that, I may not go see this. The story of a gorgeous man who is shunned because of his hot body and daring outfits hits a little to close to home. Watching someone else suffer like I have would cut deep, like a knife right into my heart.
Bruno made an appearance at the at Las Ventas bull ring in Madrid, Spain earlier today to promote his movie, and so obviously he wore a skin tight bull outfit. Of course. Why wouldn’t he? I’m all man, but that shit is hot. He’s half man, half beast. In a related story, I made an Asian girl half-white last night when I banged her.
Between the red hair, awesome rack and super hot accent, I can’t tell you how happy it would make me to have sex with Isla Fisher. Which is why these pictures are so uncomfortable. I can’t remember the details, but I know she used to be in a relationship with Bruno. I think they even had a baby. And yesterday she followed him all the way to Paris for the premiere of his movie. But, I mean Jesus woman open your eyes. I’m not sure how much more clear he can make it. It’s over, he’s moved on, and he’s not coming back. No offense but you’re kind of makin an ass out of yourself.
Sacha Baron Cohen is being sued once again, this time by a woman named Richelle Olson who claims she was severely injured during an altercation with Cohen at a bingo hall during the filming of “Bruno”. She says she now needs a wheelchair or cane to move around as a result. MSNBC says…
According to the lawsuit, Baron Cohen started using vulgarities while calling the second bingo game in front of a mostly elderly audience.
A struggle ensued after Olson tried to grab the microphone away from Baron Cohen. She claims he then called his camera crew over, who attacked her for at least a minute, hoping to “create a dramatic emotional response.
Olson’s suit states she ran from the stage and was found moments later by a co-worker, sobbing uncontrollably. She then fell to the floor, hitting her head on a concrete slab.
Wait, what?
Olson’s suit states she ran from the stage and was found moments later by a co-worker, sobbing uncontrollably. She then fell to the floor, hitting her head on a concrete slab.
Wait. Seriously? So she fell down later. When Cohen was somewhere else. And she’s suing for that? What’s the window on that kind of thing because George Clooney held a door open for me in 2004 but the door kind of hit me a little and then last week I spilled hot coffee on my groin. Because I was driving, I could do little as my groin became very uncomfortable and the scalding hot liquid soaked through the groin area of my pants, all the way to my groin. Would I have done that if I hadn’t been attacked by Clooney? Is he above the law? That’s for a jury to decide.
I don’t need to tell anyone here that the new issue of Marie Claire comes out tomorrow, but you may be surprised by the pictures of supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio together with Brunos tightly wrapped gold nutsack. I know I was surprised. Very surprised. Startled, you might say. The Sun UK says…
BRUNO’S kugelsack has been working so hard his film’s success is in the bag.
Earlier this week his Austrian manhood was dangling in EMINEM’s face during an MTV Movie Awards stunt and now it’s out again wrapped in gold alongside a Victoria’s Secret model.
SACHA BARON COHEN’s camp Austrian fashion reporter was posing alongside ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO in a shoot for Marie Claire.
You can see the full size pic from the banner here. You may think the sun has collided with the earth when you open it, but don’t be alarmed, the picture is just that smokin hot.
