Seriously. What the hell?

By brendon June 01, 2009 @ 10:14 AM

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It’s hard to even make sense of how boring and pointless the MTV Movie Awards have become. It used to be a good show. It was funny, clever, it looked cool and hot girls showed up dressed real slutty. Now … Ashley Tisdale? The Transexual in a seven-minute gum commercial? This must be what it felt like for boxing fans when Muhammad Ali tried to wrestle in the late 70’s. It’s just sad.

Um … okay well that’s not bad

By brendon May 27, 2009 @ 10:33 AM

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Cameron Diaz and all the people who don’t find her irritating went for a walk together on the beach this morning, and even though she’s a fug annoying mess with bigger bumps on her face than her chest, she looks pretty good here. She’s in Hawaii in these pictures but I’m not sure what island. “Magic Flattering Picture Island” would be a good guess.

(image source = pacific coast. full size jump = here. close ups of this same set = here)

cameron diaz is a natural beauty

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 12:18 PM

A lot of people think that Cameron Diaz is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, if not the world.  A lot of people have been horribly misinformed.

cameron diaz is a dolt

By brendon January 12, 2009 @ 7:02 AM

I can't even begin to imagine how awful it would be to deal with Cameron Diaz and her insufferable little act in real life. She thinks she’s so charming and adorable. She’s not. At all. I’d rather be locked in a room with that thing that humps your face in Alien than this cunt. Keep in mind this marble-mouthed simpleton is paid millions of dollars to read words, and yet when push comes to shove, she can’t even pronounce Angelina Jolies name right. "Angelina". It's not like she had to say "eschatological". An-ge-li-na. I don’t think I’m being a slave driver to ask that actors learn to read words without sounding like they have a mouth full of balls.

HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN

By brendon July 23, 2008 @ 12:07 PM

Both Forbes and People have articles today about what actors and actresses make the most money in Hollywood, and I had to read over this thing like 4 times, partly because I can barely read, but also because this thing doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008, Will Smith was the highest paid male lead, banking around 80 million dollars.  Johnny Depp was close behind, earning 72.  Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy both made 55 thanks to "Shrek", and Leonardo DiCaprio made 45 thanks to being the best actor alive.  

Here’s where the list goes to hell: Cameron Diaz made 50 million god damn dollars, despite the fact that no one actually likes her.  Keira Knightley made 32.  Jennifer Aniston has never had a successful movie, and hasn’t had any movie for 2 years, yet somehow made 27.  Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow each made 25.  

What the hell is that?  I thought Hollywood was misogynistic and sexist and awful.  So how come the top 5 list features 4 visually disturbing hags?  Keira is the only hot one, and the only one who is even remotely likable.  The only way I'd ever watch a Cameron Diaz movie is if the description also included the words, "Megan Fox" and "cum-soaked".



CAMERON DIAZ IS GETTIN ME ALL HOT

By brendon May 22, 2008 @ 8:05 AM

Cameron Diaz was spotted in Santa Monica on the set of "My Sister’s Keeper" yesterday, in which she plays the sister of a girl with leukemia.  In the movie, Cameron’s character shaves her head as a show of support.  In reality, Cameron took the easy way out and used a cap and makeup.  So now this movie about sick little kids looks like some kind of alien invasion project.  She looks like that little kid from X-Men 3.  A real actor would have shaved their head.  Daniel Day Louis would have actually given himself leukemia.

(picture source = splash news online)