THE JAPANESE HAVE WAY TOO MUCH MONEY

By brendon February 08, 2007 @ 11:44 AM

Cameron Diaz banked a $3 million check for 6 hours of work to appear in an ad for a Japanese cell phone company. It is her third such ad for the phone company, all of the ads are pretty much the same and all of them are seen only in Japan. The ads all show her walking down the street absorbed in a conversation, oblivious to the world around here (like the ad above and another one HERE). The only twist the new ad offers is that Diaz is walking through a movie set with aliens, pirates, cowboys and mobsters all around her. Us Weekly says:

"She was smiling through the shoot and looked like a knockout."

Wow, what an insane waste of money. Japanese TV is filled with goofy perverts and insane violence, there's no way any of them are gonna respond to Cameron Diaz walking down the street. I think ads this boring might even be illegal in Japan. Where's the dude on rollerskates and a mousetrap on his dork, where's the 10-year-old girl dressed as Little Red Riding Hood being chased by an octopus penis monster?!?  C'mon Japan, I expected a little more from you.



CAMERON DIAZ IS CRAZY, UGLY

By brendon January 17, 2007 @ 10:59 AM

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake ended their three year relationship last week and Cameron reportedly isn't handling it very well.  Timberlake ducked into the Beverly Hills Hilton when he saw her working the red carpet at the Golden Globes Monday night but couldn't avoid her at the shows after parties.  Word is she saw him talking to Jessica Biel with a few drinks and she pretty much lost it.  Page Six says:

Diaz followed Timberlake to the In Style party at the Hilton Oasis, where "they had an awkward conversation."  She then trailed Timberlake to the Beverly Hilton rooftop for the Universal party, where she found him chatting up Biel – and screamed at the "Illusionist" star. "If that's how she wants to get him back, it won't work," said our insider. "She's desperate."

Well no kidding she's desperate.  She's a damn monster.  She should get handicapped parking she's so ugly, yet she somehow tricked Justin Timberlake (who is 9 years younger) into dating her.  No one is quite sure how.  Probably drugs and magic.

THE GOLDEN GLOBES WERE UGLY

By brendon January 16, 2007 @ 9:47 AM

Did someone slip me acid or does Cameron Diaz really look like this, like a villain in a sci-fi movie.  I could make a "woman" out of pillowcases, saw dust and horse hair and it would be hotter than Cameron Diaz.  Or Drew Barrymore, who has finally achieved her goal of becoming completely square.  Sienna Miller seems to think she’s 14.  Next year she'll wear footie pajamas and show up clutching a blanket and sucking her thumb.

CAMERON DIAZ IS TOO PERFECT

By brendon November 29, 2006 @ 1:48 PM

Cameron Diaz tells OK! Magazine that her biggest fault is that she has no faults and that the only time she gets into a fight with bf Justin Timberlake is because she's perfect in every way and sometimes that becomes frustrating for him.  Diaz says:

"I don't know if I do anything to annoy Justin. Nothing. I'm perfect. That's probably what drives him crazy!"

There's a 100 percent chance she's serious, by the way.  Cameron Diaz is completely in love with herself.  So with that in mind, please look again at the banner picture and get a glimpse of how fug these bitches are in real life.  If not for Hollywood, they’d be in the sorority with the girl with a glass eye and the unibrow from Eastern Europe.  This is what these whores actually look like, before a FEMA crew of makeup artists and lighting experts and Photoshop.  Drew looks like a damn cartoon after a mouse just hit her in the face with a frying pan and Diaz looks like a god damn gremlin.  If you feed her after midnight, I heard you end up with more of them.



JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS PISSED

By brendon September 19, 2006 @ 8:16 PM

X17 Online has pictures today of Justin Timberlake chasing back photographers as he arrived at a party last night in the Hollywood Hills with gf Cameron Diaz.  X17 says:

Cam had to restrain him from doing who-knows-what our photogs — he was apparently trying to grab our guy's camera and was yelling at him to get away and to stop shooting pix, though the scene was on public property (in the street) … our photog retreated. Apparently that wasn't good enough — the pair have apparently filed a police report. Geez, sorry –what ever happened to a smile and a wave?!

My figurine of Jesus building a bird house says that violence is never the answer.  Apparently the correct answer is "bird house", but in Justin’s defense, he was caught on a date with Cameron Diaz.  I wouldn’t want my picture taken with that fug bitch either.  The photographer should probably just be glad he didnt wake up as the dirt was being shoveled onto the lid of his coffin.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS NICE

By brendon August 29, 2006 @ 4:08 AM

After taping a performance for the Ellen Degeneres show yesterday afternoon, Justin Timberlake spent nearly two hours visiting sick and injured children at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.  A source tells the Daily News:

"It was a surprise visit, and the kids were, like, screaming.  He went all over the hospital, floor to floor. He does this kind of thing all the time."

Timberlakes gf Cameron Diaz wasn't with him, which is probably for the best, since the last thing little kids in ICU need to see is a pale bony monster lurching through the halls.   I'm not technically a doctor, but 8 year olds pulling out their IV's and crawling under their bed, saying the rosary in a pool of urine will probably do anything but help.