cameron diaz is a natural beauty

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 12:18 PM

A lot of people think that Cameron Diaz is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, if not the world.  A lot of people have been horribly misinformed.

cameron diaz is a dolt

By brendon January 12, 2009 @ 7:02 AM

I can't even begin to imagine how awful it would be to deal with Cameron Diaz and her insufferable little act in real life. She thinks she’s so charming and adorable. She’s not. At all. I’d rather be locked in a room with that thing that humps your face in Alien than this cunt. Keep in mind this marble-mouthed simpleton is paid millions of dollars to read words, and yet when push comes to shove, she can’t even pronounce Angelina Jolies name right. "Angelina". It's not like she had to say "eschatological". An-ge-li-na. I don’t think I’m being a slave driver to ask that actors learn to read words without sounding like they have a mouth full of balls.


By brendon July 23, 2008 @ 12:07 PM

Both Forbes and People have articles today about what actors and actresses make the most money in Hollywood, and I had to read over this thing like 4 times, partly because I can barely read, but also because this thing doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008, Will Smith was the highest paid male lead, banking around 80 million dollars.  Johnny Depp was close behind, earning 72.  Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy both made 55 thanks to "Shrek", and Leonardo DiCaprio made 45 thanks to being the best actor alive.  

Here’s where the list goes to hell: Cameron Diaz made 50 million god damn dollars, despite the fact that no one actually likes her.  Keira Knightley made 32.  Jennifer Aniston has never had a successful movie, and hasn’t had any movie for 2 years, yet somehow made 27.  Reese Witherspoon and Gwyneth Paltrow each made 25.  

What the hell is that?  I thought Hollywood was misogynistic and sexist and awful.  So how come the top 5 list features 4 visually disturbing hags?  Keira is the only hot one, and the only one who is even remotely likable.  The only way I'd ever watch a Cameron Diaz movie is if the description also included the words, "Megan Fox" and "cum-soaked".


By brendon May 22, 2008 @ 8:05 AM

Cameron Diaz was spotted in Santa Monica on the set of "My Sister’s Keeper" yesterday, in which she plays the sister of a girl with leukemia.  In the movie, Cameron’s character shaves her head as a show of support.  In reality, Cameron took the easy way out and used a cap and makeup.  So now this movie about sick little kids looks like some kind of alien invasion project.  She looks like that little kid from X-Men 3.  A real actor would have shaved their head.  Daniel Day Louis would have actually given himself leukemia.

(picture source = splash news online)


By brendon April 16, 2008 @ 6:57 AM

Emilio Diaz, the father of Cameron Diaz, died suddenly this morning, although not of embarrassment, which is how I assumed the parents of Cameron Diaz would die.  TMZ says, "We're told the 58-year-old Emilio Diaz, a popular resident of Seal Beach, Calif., recently developed the flu which then turned into pneumonia. We hear his death was "shocking" as Emilio was in "terrific health." Diaz is currently filming her upcoming flick "My Sister's Keeper." A source on the set tells us production on the film was shut down today.  Emilio was a second generation Cuban-American who worked as a foreman for an oil company." 

(picture source = bauer griffin)


By brendon April 01, 2008 @ 9:09 AM

Cameron Diaz is amazing and beautiful, obviously, and could have a boyfriend right now if she wanted too.  Because she’s so great.  But this isn’t my opinion, it’s a fact.  Cameron Diaz is wonderful, according to Cameron Diaz.  Us magazine says…

"I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be, but I haven't finished doing what I'm doing," she added.
Simply put, she says, "I like boys — a lot. I'm boy crazy. That hasn't changed since I was very young."
But even Diaz knows she's not the easiest partner to date.
"I'm a lot of woman — in a lot of ways," she says. "And I understand that can be intimidating."

Yeah I was thinking that same thing.  That must be it.  She's very intimidating.  Guys can't handle how amazing she is.  I’m scared to even turn on my computer some days, for fear I may stumble on to her picture and face the cold hard reality that I'm not man enough to handle a woman like her.  Oh Cameron, why must your perfection torture me so!