this is supposed to be Cameron Diaz

By brendon October 03, 2012 @ 1:57 PM

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Esquire UK says, “Everyone’s got a soft spot for Cameron Diaz.” I certainly know I do. It’s my dick. Because despite what their November cover and pictures from Terry Richardson (master of having a girl stand in front of a blank wall) try to trick you into believing, sheactuallylookslikethis. Like something that appears in a mirror after saying a spell 3 times.

Cameron Diaz was drunk, has never looked better

By brendon May 23, 2012 @ 12:13 PM

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Cameron Diaz tired to hide her face as she left the Whiskey Mist in London at 3am this morning, and it was a huge step in the right direction. I highly recommend she find someway to do this more often. Because when she doesn’t–like a few hours earlier at the UK premiere of ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’–she’s absolutely awful to look at. She could play Ellen Barkins mom in a movie so easily. The make-up would be to not put on any make-up.

(image source = wenn, getty, bauer-griffin)

lookin’ good, Cameron Diaz!

By brendon May 09, 2012 @ 1:46 PM

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Cameron Diaz may be a bitch, and a terrible actress who adds absolutely nothing to a character, but at least she’s monstrously ugly.

I actually might be doing that wrong, but the point is she was at the New York premiere for ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ last night, and holy fuck. About the nicest thing I can say is that there are moments when she could be Candice Bergens daughter, if Candice Bergen had a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome

(image source = getty, wenn, fame/flynet)

this haircut made Cameron Diaz cry

By brendon May 03, 2012 @ 11:17 AM

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Speaking of Cameron Diaz, she told Jay Leno that the haircut she got right before Christmas, just in time for her picture to be taken a million times during awards season, made her cry. Though we’re the ones who had to look at her so really it seems like she got off easy.

“I just burst into tears and started crying, and I felt so vulnerable,” she explained. “For a woman to all of a sudden have no hair, oh my god.”

Yes, I’m sure women with cancer will nominate her for some kind of hero award. And I’m not sure if this will help any, but her face is still way uglier than any haircut she could ever get. She should probably start doing her hair like the little girl in ‘the Ring’.

(image source = getty)

Tag Heuer Paid Cameron Diaz To Put Watches Next to Her Face

By author March 15, 2012 @ 3:30 PM

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Bravo, money well spent.

Further proof of why Cameron Diaz shouldn’t be modeling anything but ski masks.

(Image Source = Getty, INFDaily, Splash News)

Cameron Diaz is scaring the French now

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 5:24 PM

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Cameron Diaz traveled all the way to Paris for the 2012 Versace Spring/Summer show earlier today, all part of Paris Fashion Week. Perhaps coincidentally, reports of the loup garou, a fabled French monster that eats the bones of children, has skyrocketed in the past 24 hours.

(image source = splash, inf)