this is the nicest possible Cameron Diaz headline

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 1:33 PM

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I don’t get why the Huffington Post is so surprised, because the less someone looks like Cameron Diaz, the better. Would they prefer this? If I were that magazine I would have just used a picture of Kate Upton and then claimed it was some kind of mix-up, because Cameron Diaz looks like her parents are Uma Thurman and one of those old mangled trees.

(image source – interview magazine, getty)

I appreciate this Cameron Diaz

By brendon January 18, 2013 @ 5:54 PM

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Cameron Diaz hid her face as she left a gym in LA this morning, which is an extremely considerate thing to do if youlooklikeCameron Diaz.

In fact I wouldn’t be opposed at finding some way to do this full time. Not with a water bottle like she’s using of course, since things that are see-through and clear make notoriously bad hiding spots. One of those iron masks like Dr. Doom wears would be perfect through.

(image source = fame/flynet)

this is supposed to be Cameron Diaz

By brendon October 03, 2012 @ 1:57 PM

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Esquire UK says, “Everyone’s got a soft spot for Cameron Diaz.” I certainly know I do. It’s my dick. Because despite what their November cover and pictures from Terry Richardson (master of having a girl stand in front of a blank wall) try to trick you into believing, sheactuallylookslikethis. Like something that appears in a mirror after saying a spell 3 times.

Cameron Diaz was drunk, has never looked better

By brendon May 23, 2012 @ 12:13 PM

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Cameron Diaz tired to hide her face as she left the Whiskey Mist in London at 3am this morning, and it was a huge step in the right direction. I highly recommend she find someway to do this more often. Because when she doesn’t–like a few hours earlier at the UK premiere of ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’–she’s absolutely awful to look at. She could play Ellen Barkins mom in a movie so easily. The make-up would be to not put on any make-up.

(image source = wenn, getty, bauer-griffin)

lookin’ good, Cameron Diaz!

By brendon May 09, 2012 @ 1:46 PM

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Cameron Diaz may be a bitch, and a terrible actress who adds absolutely nothing to a character, but at least she’s monstrously ugly.

I actually might be doing that wrong, but the point is she was at the New York premiere for ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ last night, and holy fuck. About the nicest thing I can say is that there are moments when she could be Candice Bergens daughter, if Candice Bergen had a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome

(image source = getty, wenn, fame/flynet)

this haircut made Cameron Diaz cry

By brendon May 03, 2012 @ 11:17 AM

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Speaking of Cameron Diaz, she told Jay Leno that the haircut she got right before Christmas, just in time for her picture to be taken a million times during awards season, made her cry. Though we’re the ones who had to look at her so really it seems like she got off easy.

“I just burst into tears and started crying, and I felt so vulnerable,” she explained. “For a woman to all of a sudden have no hair, oh my god.”

Yes, I’m sure women with cancer will nominate her for some kind of hero award. And I’m not sure if this will help any, but her face is still way uglier than any haircut she could ever get. She should probably start doing her hair like the little girl in ‘the Ring’.

(image source = getty)