Cameron Diaz has still got it

By brendon January 17, 2012 @ 1:32 PM

cameron_diaz_weinstein_company_golden_globes_party

For like, I don’t know, ten years maybe, I’ve been saying that Cameron Diaz is actually a fucking monster, despite what leading magazines would like you to believe, and if people would just open their eyes and look at her they’d realize how alarmingly ugly she is, and has been for a long time now.

I will concede that she did have one brief window a decade ago where she was kind of cute, but there’s a brief window where a puppy pee’ing on your carpet is kind of cute too. Cameron Diaz is like that. Except the dog is smarter.

(image source of cameron in beverly hills saturday night = getty)

Cameron Diaz and Diddy are dating or something

By brendon December 14, 2011 @ 4:13 PM

120634972

Cameron Diaz and Sean Combs had lunch together last month, leading some to wonder if they were dating. Now it’s being reported that Diaz was at Marble Lane in New York on Saturday with some friends when Combs showed up around 1:15am and started buying drinks. Then they danced and “made out” for the next two hours.

Conclusion: Sean Combs has horrible taste in everything, not just music.

Cameron Diaz is clearly pregnant

By brendon August 24, 2011 @ 1:34 PM

30850

Cameron Diaz is in Atlanta today filming ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, a movie clearly made by people who only have the vaguest notion of what to expect when you’re expecting. They know it takes place in the ladies stomach, more or less, so they made that bigger… and then they called it a day. And now Cameron Diaz is playing a pregnant lady. See? Pregnant Lady. Or possibly Shoplifter.

(image source = splash and flynet)

Cameron Diaz is the choice of teens

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 10:52 AM

cameron_diaz_teen_choice_awards

Cameron Diaz was at the Teen Choice Awards last night, I suppose as some kind of prank. Teens don’t really like old ladies. Maybe it was a test to see if anyone would help her across the street or ask her about her grandchildren. The good news is she looked better than she has in months. The bad news is, that’s still hideous. No doubt some people will say, “But hey, at least she works out and has lots of muscles.” Yes, indeed she does. And you know who else has lots of muscles? Monsters.

(image source = getty and splash)

Cameron Diaz is a beautiful woman

By brendon July 19, 2011 @ 4:47 PM

cameron_diaz_gambit

Cameron Diaz is on set with Colin Firth in London today to film ‘Gambit’, which IMDb describes like this…

Harry Dean’s plan to steal a painting from one of the world’s richest men is missing one final component — the participation of a beautiful woman to act as his gambit. In Nicole, he meets someone who appears to be the perfect candidate, but Harry himself becomes enraptured with her, causing his plan to take a series of wrong turns.

So, if I have this right, Colin Firth finds Cameron Diaz, who is so beautiful he knows Alan Rickman will fall in love with her, but the problem is she’s a little too beautiful, and Colin Firth can’t help but fall in love with her too.

Cameron Diaz.

She’s too beautiful.

The woman in this picture, which, and I cannot stress this part enough, has not been altered in any way. That’s what Cameron Diaz looks like. And I didn’t just selectively choose one. Here’s another. And another, and another, and another.

Not only is that what she looks like, but that’s her at red carpet events. In other words, at her very best, with professional hair and makeup. That’s the girl Hollywood keeps casting in movies to play a sexxxy piece of ass.

Are you god damn kidding me.

Suffice to say if I were making ‘Gambit, it would be about Firth finding a sacred relic that was kept under lock and key inside the Vatican for two thousand years and stabbing her with it.

(image source = fame)

Cameron Diaz is a lovely woman

By brendon July 01, 2011 @ 12:34 PM

93239_025

Cameron Diaz was in Madrid on the Spanish TV show ‘El Hormiguero’ last night to promote ‘Bad Teacher’, and she seems to think the best way to do that and get around the language barrier was to make dumb faces for 10 minutes. Now the people in Spain can say, “I’d like a ticket to the one where the old lady who thinks she’s young cackles like a jackass.”