Cameron Diaz and her lover Alex Rodriguez spent some time at a gym in Venice yesterday, and HOLY SHIT. I haven’t seen arms that ripped since I looked in the mirror about 10 minutes ago. Now I know what girls must feel like when they see me on the weekends, out on the ranch, with my shirt off, and my sweaty muscles glistening in the sun as I work with abused horses. And they come up and tell me, “wow, those horses sure are lucky to have someone like you.” But you know who the lucky one really is? It’s me, my friends. It’s me.
Cameron Diaz and boyfriend Alex Rodriguez hit up Miami beach last week, and how can two people with such good bodies still look so unattractive? Especially her. She’s so ugly it’s uncomfortable. Like if you showed this picture to your dog he’d start backing away and then howling.
CAMERON DIAZ – was at the premiere of the Green Hornet last night, and I know we’ve already covered how ugly she is IRL, but she’s annoying and arrogant so we’re gonna cover it again. This time with video, because it’s easier to see how much she looks like the puppet from Saw this way. (lat)
JAMES BOND – had plans for a 23rd film, directed by Sam Mendes and starring Daniel Craig, but it was delayed because of MGMs financial problems. As of today, it’s officially back on. Which already makes it better than Quantum of Solace. (/film)
THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP – last night was the highest rated program in the history of cable, bringing in 27.3 million viewers. I wonder if Cam Newton had a bonus clause in his contract for this kind of thing. (la times)
Seth Rogen stars as the Green Hornet in the new movie of the same name, but I’m the one who’s really green today. Green with envy that is, because he got to be so close to the lovely Cameron Diaz. She’s not as pretty now as she was before she had to kill Mace Windu, but he was a powerful Jedi, and that lightning bolt thing she did with her fingers would take a toll on anyones looks
The best thing about these pictures of Cameron Diaz and her lover Alex Rodriguez in Hawaii yesterday is that they were taken from really far away and the water looks real pretty, so you’re not overwhelmed by how shockingly ugly Cameron Diaz is.
Oh, and she’s as athletic as she is lovely. She even managed to stand on this paddle board for a few seconds without having to sit back down. I think the problem is those things are only like 10 feet long and 4 feet wide. They should really be bigger. Maybe we can get someones roof and Cameron can stand on that. Or just a regular boat. What about the land Cameron, can you maybe walk on land for 20 seconds without tipping over, you fucking spaz.
Do we ever send anyone good down to Mexico? Or is it just fug, out of shape whores like Cameron Diaz (who was there again this weekend with Alex Rodriguez), Jennifer Aniston, Chelsea Handler, Jessica Simpson and Lindsay Lohan? I’m pleasantly surprised they haven’t declared war on us at this point.